


A continuation

by Signature_smirk



Series: BDSM school for boys. [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-03-18 05:08:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 60,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3557177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signature_smirk/pseuds/Signature_smirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it say in the title- a continuation from the last work in the series BDSM school for boys. </p><p>Harry and Louis continues to work out problems and Zayn and Liam are more involved!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

We've had so many conversations about how this will work. Louis wants to try, really wants to try and be a sub; see how it was for me. But I don't know if I can be a Dom. I did really well in the training but it still makes me nervous. 

"Louis, the same rules apply to you as they did to me. They're still on our fridge though I doubt you'd take part in our role play as father and child while you're a sub?"  
"If you wanted me to, Harry, I would." 

I smile gratefully and pull him on to my lap, finding that we fit together so much better like this but it's different. Louis doesn't like being held as much as I do. I don't enjoy holding him as much as he does me. 

"For now we'll just stick to punishments, yes? Unless you'd like," I ask.  
"Punishments are fine Harry. Just a spanking will do for the moment." I clear my throat, a small smirk on my face. "Sorry. Could we stick to a spanking for the moment?" 

I laugh, kissing his cheek.  
"Nothing to worry about, Lou. A spanking is absolutely fine. Even if you just wanted corner time I'd be happy."  
"I'm not very good at being still or quiet for too long though. corner time sounds horrible."  
"It is a punishment Louis. It's not meant to be pleasant. Don't worry - be a good boy and you'll be fine."

It's a struggle to try and gain dominance over Louis even when he's trying his best to be compliant. His personality is to big to be stomped on or suppressed. He is a dominant at heart and we both know this. 

 

"Shall we go and see Liam and Zayn?" I ask a few days later, Louis having retreated away from me. He's quieter now and not as free when he's around me.  
"Yeah. That sounds good."  
"You don't have to be so tense around me," I whisper, pulling him to my chest.  
"Shit I didn't mean to be. Fuck- ah! I didn't mean to swear. Sorry."  
"That's okay. We can't be good all the time, right?" 

I watch his reaction carefully and his features soften, tears collecting in his eyes. He pulls away but I tut, holding him to my chest.  
"It's okay, babe. Let it out."  
"I'm screwing up. I don't know how to do this, Harry," he sniffles against me, my shirt bunched up in his hands. 

"You're doing nothing wrong. You swore. How much do I swear, Lou? A lot. And we don't always mean it. You know how. It's just because you're scared to let go. You trust me right?" I gulp. He nods instantly.  
"Completely."  
"Then go lie on our bed and I'll be up in a moment." I kiss his forehead before he scampers up to our room.

I take off my shirt and make my way up the stairs to find Louis with his bum high in the air, head on the mattress and pants pulled down. 

"Up." He stands quickly and watches me warily. I pat my lap from where I'm sat, rubbing his back when he lays his torso across my legs. I pull his underwear up before I rub over his bum, raising my hand and hitting it down. It's not hard but I'm not allowing myself to go easy on him. 

 

I count the hits, getting progressively harder as I go and once I reach the end scoop Louis into my arms to cuddle him and comfort him. 

He has tear tracks on his face. And he looks scared to go near me. 

"Red," I whisper. Louis looks shocked but immediately backs away.  
"What's wrong Haz. You need to tell me what's wrong or I can help you," he soothes while I cry, cradling my arms around my knees as I rock forwards and backwards. 

"'M sorry, 'm sorry. 'M so sorry," I cry, burying my head in the dip between my knees.  
"Can I come over there?" He asks gently. I nod rapidly, staring at him with wide as he walks over and sits in front of me. 

He wraps his arms around me and turns me over so I'm lying on his chest.  
"Baby it's okay, only me, you're safe," he mumbles into my ear, a hand repeatedly stroking over my hair. "You going to tell me what's wrong?"

"'M sorry, 'm so sorry. I didn't want to!" I cry as he hushes me.  
"Did nothing wrong lovely. Did amazing, yeah? What are you sorry for?"  
"I didn't want to, I'm sorry." He'll hate me if I say it won't he? "Please don't hate me," I whimper. 

"Oh, Haz. I love you so much. Don't be silly now." 

I think he accepts I'm not going to change my reply so lets me cuddle down against him, wraps me up in the blanket and holds me close. 

 

I fall asleep in the arms of the person I love the most. Who I've just hurt. God what did I do?

 

"Harry are you alright?" Louis asks when I wake up, a concerned look on his face.  
"I'm sorry for spanking you. And I didn't comfort you afterwards. It should've been the other way around."  
"That's okay darling. You clearly aren't comfortable playing the dominant role, yeah?" I sniffle, nodding my head. "That's okay. As long as you're willing to talk about it and what makes you uncomfortable." 

I lay there silent thinking about what had played out before I fell asleep.  
"You don't want to be a Dom do you?"  
"You don't want to be a sub do you?"

We both shake our heads with a small smile on our face.  
"Back to our normal?" Louis asks. 

I take a deep breath in and close my eyes.  
"Daddy? My head hurts."


	2. Chapter 2

Daddy baths me and dresses me in a fluffy, blue onesie.   
"C'mon, Uncle Zaynie and Uncle Liamy are coming round in a minute. Go sit on the couch while I make you a bottle." I shuffle into the living room and curl up on the couch with Bearty and my blanket. 

Bearty is my teddy bear. Daddy rolled his eyes but told me I was a funny little boy when I told him. 

Li and Zayn let themselves in and Liam sits in the armchair while Zayn sits on the couch with me.   
"You alright Haz?"  
"Yeah," I sigh as I wait for my bottle to be brought to me. 

Daddy soon comes back into the room, a little grin on his face when I clamber onto his lap eagerly.   
"Piggy," he teases, tickling my tummy gently before I settle against the arm of the chair. I lean my head back and open my mouth, waiting impatiently. 

Daddy leans down and kisses me gently before pressing the teat of the bottle into my mouth. My eyes flutter shut and I block out their conversation as I suckle on the bottle. 

"Is daddy's boy finished?" I nod my head and lick my lips while daddy sits me up to rub a hand across my back. 

I giggle when he pulls a burp out of me, feeling pleasantly sleepy after my bottle. Daddy covers my face in kisses, laughing when I scrunch my face up, only to purse my lips for an extra kiss.   
"How would you feel if daddy braided your hair?"  
"Special, daddy." He grins, nodding his head.   
"Well daddy's princess is special," he confirms, though with a silly nickname.   
"Daddy I'm a boy!" I giggle.   
"Sorry baby. Daddy's little prince is special. Better?" I nod and slide off the couch to kneel between daddy's legs. It's easiest for him to do my hair this way. 

The feeling of Daddy tugging at my hair and keeping the braids tight rolls across my scalp and sends shivers down my spine. Daddy knows I love it. When my hair is done daddy kisses the top of my head and pulls me to sit in his lap again. 

 

We watch cartoons for a while, Zayn reading me a story and daddy helping me colour. He apologises when his phone starts ringing and moves me to sit next to him. 

"Look after him will yas?" He frowns at uncle Liam and uncle Zayn. They nod happily and shoo him away. 

 

"So what's your favourite toy?" Liam asks.   
"My jigsaws."  
"Well Zaynie can go get a jigsaw and we can do it together. How does that sound?"  
"Fun," I smile, wriggling in my place on the floor. 

Zayn comes back quickly with one of my train jigsaws. He dumps the pieces out on the floor and joins me and Liam to turn them all over.   
"You find three corners and edges first right?" Liam asks.   
"Yup."  
"D'you think our kids would like jigsaws?" Zayn asks. 

I watch with confusion, my thumb in my mouth because I can't find my dummy, as Liam goes red in the face.   
"Never mention 'our' children again."   
"What are you saying?" 

The couple stand up to row, a very teary-eyed Zayn frowning at an angry Liam.   
"I'm saying we're not having children!"   
"You couldn't even consider it? Discuss it like a normal person instead of getting so upset about it."  
"Fuck off Zayn. I'm so calm with how you are. You're a moody little shit most of the time but I put up with you everyday without complaint."  
"You're complaining right now!" Zayn bites back. "Do you love me? Is that what this is you don't love me?" 

They're yelling now but my daddy's not here to help. I can feel my own tears making their way down my face. 

I gasp when Liam pulls Zayn over his lap and yanks his pants down. The first hit makes me jump and I screw my eyes closed to block it out when Liam hits him quicker and harder. I'm sobbing now, yelling for daddy but he can't hear me. 

"Stop crying!" Liam shouts angrily and I cry harder as I feel a wetness spread through my pyjamas.   
"Daddy," I choke out between heavy sobs. 

Louis turns around to look in on us and gasps, going pale and running back through the door. 

My hands are covering my ears to prevent noise from the slaps and my eyes search for daddy. I still jump when he picks me up but he soothes me and brings me up stairs. 

"It's okay baby," he breathes, resting my head on his chest as he pants. "I am so sorry I wasn't there. Are you alright? They didn't hurt you?" I shake my head no but I can't stop blubbering. "Should we get you cleaned up and changed then?" I nod my head, accepting the dummy he pushes into my mouth. 

He lays me down on my back and peels off my wet onesie.   
"We should get in the shower. Go into the bathroom and daddy will be in in moment." 

I shuffle awkwardly into the bathroom, my legs wet and stinky. I sit on the toilet seat and wait for my daddy to come back. The noise from stops and I can hear daddy shouting. 

He comes back in naked with a worried look on his face.   
"Are you okay?" I nod my head.   
"They scared me." He nods and turns the shower on to warm up slightly before nudging me to stand in the water stream. 

"Well they're gone now," he whispers when he climbs in next to me, washing the stench of pee off my legs and cleaning my skin. He washes himself, stinky from me sitting on his lap while I cried. 

Once we're all clean daddy steps out and gets dried and dressed in a pair of boxers then helps me out too. He wraps me in my little fluffy ducky towel to dry me off and brings me into my room. He lays me down again on my back and I grab my dummy off the bed straight away for comfort as I watch daddy go to the cupboard. 

"What're you doing daddy?"  
"Getting your nappies." I gasp standing on shaky legs and going to the door. "Oh no you don't mister. Get back here."

I shake my head, more tears coming to my eyes.   
"I don't want to wear a nappy, daddy," I sniffle. He shakes his head, throwing a nappy on the bed and walking over to me. Daddy holds me close to his chest, running a hand over my braids. 

"I didn't mean to do it daddy."  
"I know but it still happened. We need to make sure the bed doesn't get wet. Only for tonight and tomorrow if you're still little. Okay, darling?"  
"Yes daddy," I pout. He kisses my forehead and gently lowers me to the floor once again. 

He sprinkles light powder over my bottom and kisses my knees, pushing the nappy under my bum and over my privates to secure it.   
"There, that's not so bad is it?" Daddy smiles gently. I scowl at him and fold my arms. "Oh come on," he sighs.

I remain as I am until Louis picks me up and sits me in the bed.   
"Should I leave?" Daddy asks. I shake my head, reaching out to him with grabby hands.   
"Sowwy daddy. I feel silly."  
"I am proud of you. You did so well and were so good for Daddy. Now I think we can have dinner and a hot chocolate with some biccies before you go to sleep."

We eat dinner in my room, cuddle in my bed after we've finished before daddy brings the plates down and goes to get out hot chocolate. 

When he comes back up he has Bearty with him, a bottle full of hot chocolate, a mug for himself and a plate of biscuits. I sit up, taking the bottle off daddy and put the plate on my knee. 

"Don't drink all of it, I want to give you some." 

We sit, side by side, daddy's arm around me as we sip our drinks, dipping biscuits into daddy's drink.   
"Thank you daddy."

He holds me and gives me the rest of my bottle, burping me afterwards before he flicks on the nightlight and pushes Bearty into my arms. 

"Daddy's going to sit with you until you fall asleep. Then he's going to see if Uncle Zaynie is okay. Alright?"  
"Yes daddy. Tell him I said I love him. And uncle Liamy but they can't come round. They're scary sometimes."  
"They're not scary."  
"They were today. I wet myself," I blush.   
"Yeah I know. But that's okay. Little boys can be scared easier. Well go and see them together tomorrow so they can say sorry. No one scares my baby boy. Now give daddy a kiss." 

I crane my neck forward to kiss him gently and take the dummy he has in his hands between my teeth.   
"Wuv you daddy." 

Daddy grins, brushing a stray piece of hair out of my eyes.   
"I love you too baby. Now let's sleep." 

I fall asleep, a very tired little boy and in the strong arms of my daddy.


	3. Chapter 3

*Zayn's point of view* 

"Are you alright?" Louis asks when I let him in.   
"Fine," I huff. He rolls his eyes and pulls me into a hug.   
"Where is he?"   
"Said he was going out to cool down. I don't know what he's doing."   
"Well you are coming to my house. You can have a drink or we can sit and talk about what caused the argument." 

I nod and grab my coat to pull around my shoulders and we leave. 

"Is Haz okay?" I ask as we walk.   
"He's alright. Gone asleep now."  
"This early?"   
"Well little boys have to rest," Louis grins, opening the door. 

 

We sit in the living room, Louis pouring me a drink of whisky before going to check on Harry.  
"He's fine. Will probably wake up in a but and go back asleep later."  
"I'm really sorry about what happened. I couldn't really stop Liam from doing it."  
"I know. Liam is the one I really want to talk to but I need to make sure you're alright. What did Liam do once you got home?"   
"Started crying when I told him he was being unfair and mean and then left," I shrug.   
"Zayn," he sighs. "I'll go look for the idiot and you can stay here, get comfy. If Harry wakes up get his phone and text me. I'll tell you what to do."   
"See ya later, Lou," I smile. 

 

I watch telly for a bit until I can hear footsteps coming down the stairs. Harry appears in the door way, rubbing his eyes. He has changed himself into a pair of normal pyjamas and has put his bear down.   
"Where's Louis?" He asks.   
"Tracking down Liam. I'm sorry about before Harry. I couldn't stop Liam doing it."  
"I know," he smiles sadly. "It's okay. Want a cuppa?" I nod my head, following him into the kitchen. 

"He said I should ring him if you wake up but I guess that was just if you're little. I'm guessing you're not judging by your attire."  
"No I'm not. But I'll text him in a minute. You alright? You had quite the argument."  
"Yeah. I just hope Liam is. We should be able to get through it. I don't know what I'll do if we can't."

 

We sit in the living room, chatting about Liam and Louis and then Harry delves further into the gossip.   
"So what is being fisted like?" I smile when he blushes, looking at the floor.   
"It's amazing. You feel so full and they have so much control over you. It's overwhelming. The first few times we tried I worded out. But after a few tries we worked really slowly up to it. And once the stretching sensation left it was incredible. That was my favourite scene I've ever done with Liam."

"What's your favourite scene you've done with Lou?" I ask. Harry bites his lip and raises an eyebrow.   
"Well there was one where he tied me up and then just hit me in the balls a lot. It was so painful but amazing. Another was when he used a ball stretcher, a plug and I was blindfolded while he flogged me. That was pretty memorable."  
"Wow. You're into CBT?"  
"What the hell is that?"  
"Cock ball torture." His eyes widen. 

"I don't think what we do is that intense."  
"What you just described is. You're a good sub Harry. Louis is lucky to have you."  
"And Liam you," he nods, fiddling with his phone. 

 

We chatter back and forth, small talk and gossip until Harry perks up suddenly.   
"Louis' found Liam. He's bringing him back here. Shall we stick the kettle on again?"

 

I jump up immediately when the door opens. Liam and Louis walk through the door, Louis searching for Harry and Liam looking at the floor. 

"Babe?" I ask. His head shoots up, staring at me with wide, wet eyes.   
"I'm so sorry," he whispers. I shake my head, stepping forward and cupping his face in my hands. 

"It's okay. Everything's okay. I love you. I love you so much," I breathe, words shaky. Liam wraps his arms around my waist and closes his eyes.   
"I love you baby. Would you like to stay here or at our house? I won't mind."  
"I'm going where you go," I decide. I feel his face lift when he smiles and I press my lips to his. 

"You don't hate me right?" Liam asks.   
"I could never hate you Li," I scoff but rest my head on his shoulder. "Can we go home and cuddle on the couch until we fall asleep?"  
"Sounds like a plan babe. C'mon. Say thank you to those two," he directs, pointing to Harry and Louis who're in the living room. 

"Thanks for everything guys. You're both life savers," I smile, waving at the two. They shrug and blow us fake and ridiculous kisses before we leave. 

We walk hand in hand to our house, Liam grabbing us both a snack before we strip off to our boxers. 

We sit snuggled up on the couch while we eat our toast and crisps, our own body heat mingling and warming the other body next to us. 

Over our cup of tea we talk about what happened, deciding that children are a thing for later on in our life, way after this school. And we can figure it out then- if we're together by then. 

Liam grabs a blanket, throwing it over the two of us and gets on the couch behind me, spooning me. His lips rest against the back of my neck and his breath creates a warm patch on my skin, everywhere we're touching does. 

"I love you. I always will."  
"I love you too," I sigh happily.   
"I'm never letting you go. Even if you leave you'll be in my heart forever."


	4. Chapter 4

*Harry's point of view*. 

 

Louis and I become very clingy- clingier at least - following the events with Liam and Zayn. Louis constantly has a hand on me or if I'm out of reach his eyes always stay on me, never straying his attention from me for more than a few seconds. 

Despite the increased contact Louis barely speaks to me about anything and I occasionaly get a text off an unknown number saying something mean. It begins to wear down on me but Louis hasn't noticed. 

'He just uses you as a whore.'

'You're there for his pleasure only.'

'He doesn't love you. No one could love you.' 

 

It makes me stay up late at night but I hide it from Louis scared that he'll agree when I bring it up. I've replayed the scene I've created over and over in my head, Louis telling me that it's all true and that he wants me to leave.

"Are you okay?" I ask one day, stood in the kitchen with his arms wrapped around me as I cook lunch.  
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" He hums.  
"You're very touchy and close lately." I want to approach the topic lightly. 

"I- I feel out of control." His arms are gone, I listen carefully, ears fine tuned to his sounds. He walks to the island and then sits and sighs. "But I don't want to put pressure on you, I don't want you to hate me."  
"How long have you wanted more control?" I ask quietly.  
"A few months after your asthma attack. At first it was easier to deal with but the less control I had over everything made me on edge."  
"So this is your way of dealing with it?"  
"Is that bad?" He asks, worry clear in his voice. 

I turn around, tilting my head as I walk to him, slotting myself in between his legs. He rests his hands on my hips.  
"No it's not. It just worried me. I thought you were softening me up for something." He smiles lightly, shaking his head. 

"No. Just my way of controlling you was constantly being the one there for you, touching you and watching over you."  
"Of course you're the one controlling me. You're my Dom. You're my boyfriend." He nods his head.  
"I feel like a power hungry freak," he mutters, biting his lip.  
"You're not. I wouldn't mind if you took more control."  
"Really?" He asks with a smirk. 

"Yes really. I'll tell you if you go too far. You know I will."  
"I hope you do. We both know that you have sometimes done things because you thought I'd be angry if you didn't. Yes you may do things to please me but never be afraid of being punished for not wanting to participate." 

"I'll try. Sometimes I can't help it," I mumble.  
"I know. Thank you for being so understanding and addressing the problem when you thought there was one. You've improved so much with communicating."  
"Thank you. It's because of you though. You've helped me so much."

He leans forward, attaching his lips to mine.  
"I love you," I pant, sliding my hands up to his shoulders.  
"I love you too baby. So beautiful. How long has it been since you came?"  
"Few days?"  
"You horny?"  
"Who said romance is dead?"I joke, nodding my head. " Louis laughs and kisses me again. 

"How about you go into our room and relax while I set up? Do something to occupy your mind, we both know you're a worry wart."  
"Yeah," I smile. "Okay. Thank you for telling me what was wrong."  
"I'd expect the same from you. Now go on, shoo," Louis grins, kissing me again before letting me go. 

 

When he comes back in, finding me tidying the room up he sighs.  
"C'mere then, Haz. I think you're going to enjoy this."

I follow him into our play room and he immediately covers my eyes with a blindfold. He handcuffs my wrists together, attaching them to the headboard and then does the same with my ankles, separating them though. He pushes earbuds into my ears, turning the volume up for the music playing. 

I feel out of place to speak. The rest of my senses have been taken away but Louis still won't use a gag. So I just won't speak. 

 

"Be as loud as you wish. No one can hear you but me," he taunts, taking one ear bud out. "Colour?"  
"Green."  
"Excellent. Let's get started then. You can always word out if you need to."

My breath hitches when I feel the first prickles against my skin, a row of needles tickling over the skin of my hip.  
"Lou," I moan as I feel his fingers skim over my nipples, rolling his thumb over them. 

My back arches, pressing the needles further into my skin as he attaches his mouth to my nipple.  
"Good boy," he hums and I whine, needing more.  
"Lou fuck me. Please."  
"Now now, greedy. Just relax. Take what I give you." I try to calm my breathing but he is trailing the pins towards my dick. 

"Lou," I choke out, trying to back away but finding myself unable due to my restraints.  
"It's okay. Colour?"  
"Yellow." He removes the pinwheel and takes off the blindfold and earphones. 

"When you're more aware maybe you won't be as freaked out as you were?" He suggests. I gulp, nodding my head. I watch as he picks the pins up and moved it toward my dick. 

I close my eyes so I don't have to witness it but instead of sharp stinging dots I feel a heavy blow land on my balls. I stretch forward, gasping for breath. 

"You're so lovely," he grins.  
"Louis," I cry as he hits me again.  
"You are doing so well. How about we make a deal. If you can come in the next two minutes from me hitting you then you get to orgasm. If you don't then you get me off and we'll go have a nap. How does that sound?"  
"I don't know if I can," I whimper, the pins digging further into my skin this time. 

"Exactly. Try your best."

I groan, loud noises ripped from my throat as he continues to hit me, landing the smacks and backhands in a random order and in different places. 

I startle when an alarm goes off and Louis tuts.  
"Sorry Haz, two minutes is up," he sighs, faking sympathy.  
"No, I can do it, I swear I can. Just let me-" I buck my hips into the air erratically, hoping for at least one last hit. 

"Calm down Harry. You are going to work yourself up. Breath like I am." 

I revel in the touches he gives me as he undoes the cuffs, kissing. Me gently and whispering praising words. 

"Gonna ride me until I come?"  
"Yes. Anything you want," I nod. He smiles, sitting back against he bed and gets me to kneel over his thighs and bend over. 

"No coming for you though. Okay?"  
"Yes. I promise."  
"Do you think you'll need a cock ring on?"  
"No I can do it," I say, determined to prove how good I can be. 

 

So Louis decides to test me, rubs against my prostate with no remorse as he fingers me. He pounds into me roughly while he fucks me, dick constantly hitting that spot.  
"Lou, please."  
"No. I'm about to come so just hold on a little longer babe." 

I try, I really try. 

He slams into me rapidly while chasing his release and inevitably causes me to reach mine. I come on my chest, writhing through it and sagging once I finish.  
"I'm so sorry Louis. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me."  
"I don't hate you darling," he soothes, quickly finishing inside me before pulling out and pushing me to the side gently.

"I don't hate you. I love you to bits but I still need you to be punished. Over the bench." 

I scramble to do so on wobbly legs, bending over it and biting my lip.

"I think twenty strikes with the cane is suitable. Feel free to word out." 

 

I close my eyes, tears making their way down my cheeks. When I hear the woosh of air I cringe and interrupt him.  
"Are you angry?" I ask with a small weak voice.  
"No Harry. I pushed you hard and you did well to last that long but you still disobeyed. Do you still think I'm angry?"  
"No. I love you."  
"I love you," he whispers and almost straight away, the words are cut through with a sharp hit of the cane. 

I cry out loudly, knuckles going white as I grip the legs of the bench harder. The pain blooms in he form of a red welt across my arse cheeks. One down, nineteen more to go. 

He murmurs gentle sentences of encouragement and praise as he continues, still breaking the skin with the implement. My head begins to feel fuzzy- very fuzzy - at around the 8th hit. 

I cry, scream and thrash to escape the blows of the cane, none relieving the pain. 

Once he gets to ten he doubles his speed, hitting me hard and ruthlessly on my sit spots. I can feel the blood trickling slowly down my thigh but it doesn't bother me too much. The pain is strong but I'm floating, the more pain tinge better right now. The pain blends together by the fifteenth hit, my whole arse on fire as he counts down to my last hit. 

My body goes limp for the last five hits and I cry silently waiting for Louis to comfort me.  
"Here we go Haz, such a good boy. Did so well." He lifts me up carefully, holding me up with strong arms. 

I stumble with his footsteps and land with him on the bed, whimpering at the bend, cuts stretching on my bum.  
"Good boy. Get comfy Haz," he smiles. I groan and pucker my lips for him, asking for a kiss. 

Louis grins and kisses me gently, tying my hair out of my face.  
"Are you okay?" He asks with a whisper.  
"Mhm. I love you."  
"I love you too. I'm sorry I had to hurt your bottom. Go to sleep now and when you wake up we can watch Tangled and cuddle. You can have painkillers and I'll put some soothing cream on your bum." 

I shove my head against his chest and breathe in Louis' smell. I love this boy whether he's controlling or not. 

He can hurt me as he has but at the end of the day he'll always cuddle me and tell me he loves me. I couldn't ask for more.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hazza wake up." I whimper and roll on to my front, the pain in my bum intense. 

"It's nearly lunch time get up. You need to eat," Louis demands softly.   
"I can't walk. My bum is on fire," I whine. He laughs and kisses my bum over and over.   
"I'll help you walk baby, I promise."  
"I can't sit down like this. It really hurts." He sighs and shakes his head. 

Louis lifts me up, hands under my armpits and supports me as we walk down the stairs. I grip onto his shoulders tightly and dig my nails in when I sit down, a long cry coming from my lips as my bottom hits the chair and the pressure gets worse.   
"Lou, Lou please," I whimper, teary-eyed. 

He smiles knowingly, nodding his head.   
"I know love, I know. It hurts. It will keep you in line won't it?" I nod my head sullenly and drape my blanket around me to stay warm. 

 

We eat lunch that Louis makes, a simple chicken and veg stir fry that - oh my god - is the best thing Louis' ever cooked. 

"Thanks Lou."  
"It's okay. You alright? You're very quiet," he accuses and rests a hand on my knee.   
"'M fine," I mumble.   
"No you're not. Tell me when you're ready okay? I know you might be a bit disorientated from going under and then waking up later. Just if there was something you didn't like about last night, tell me. I don't want to do something you're not comfortable with okay baby? Maybe I'll just keep doing what I was doi-" 

I cut off his rambling with a long, slow kiss and he nods into it, smiles as I cup his face.   
"I love you."  
"I love you babe," he grins. "I liked being in a normal relationship. But I missed the control aspect."  
"We'll figure it out," I promise. "We always do."

 

We are curled up on the couch watching Mock the Week when I've finally built up the courage to say it.   
"I didn't like the caning."   
"Oh my god. Harry you should have said!" Louis scolds and hugs me to his chest.   
"I went under pretty quickly. That's always good. But it hurt and I don't like the pain afterwards when I'm not all fuzzy. I'd prefer to not be under for a punishment so my heads clear and I can decide what I want to happen. Maybe we can try the cane again but you wouldn't hit me as hard?"

"Oh Haz," he whimpers and presses kisses all over my face. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. God we won't use it again. We'll use heat rub for your next punishment."  
"Lou it's not your fault. I didn't tell you. Don't blame yourself for this please."

He nods and presses a final kiss to the top of my head.   
"I'm glad you spoke to me about it. You're still so shy around me. I don't like it." I huff and turn away from him.   
"Well I'm sorry for something I can't help." 

Louis sighs and let's me move away from him.   
"That's not what I meant."  
"That's what you said." He shakes his head and shrugs.   
"There's no pleasing you is there?"  
"Says the one with rules that apply only to me!" I argue and he raises a hand smacking me across the face. I flinch back into the chair and cover my face with my hands. 

"How dare you! Get out." His face drops and he starts towards me. "Leave Louis. Now!" 

 

The door slams and I curl into myself, body being wracked with sobs as I cry. He hit me. And not in the way we've agreed. 

 

I love the man and I'd do anything for him but last time I said I'd give him one more chance. 

 

'Don't let this be the thing that ruins us x' is the text that Louis sends half an hour later. 

'You're the thing that ruined us.'

 

I do what I've seen in all the cliche movies and grab a tub of ice cream and curl up in bed with sad love songs playing loudly as I cry. 

 

This is the end. Me and Louis are over. It feels like my heart has been ripped from my chest and every breath hurts. This is he worst pain I've ever felt, especially since it was caused by the person I love the most. 

 

'I love you.'

'I used to think you loved me too,' I reply and throw my phone onto the chair in the corner. 

 

I fall asleep like that, snotty nosed and teary-eyed. It's cold so I shiver as I sleep, searching for the body that is usually next to me. 

 

Without Louis' presence I have one of my first nightmares in a while. But this time instead of my dad leering over me with a sadistic smile on his face and his hands balled into fists, it's Louis. And I've never wanted to leave somewhere so much.


	6. Chapter 6

When I wake up its to Liam stood over me shaking my shoulder with a worried expression on his face. 

"Oh Haz are you alright? Zayn make Harry a cuppa," he yells downstairs. He helps me sit up and ruffles my hair with a comforting smile on his face.   
"Where is he?" I ask, my voice rough and gravely. I cough and take a drink from the glass on the bedside table. 

"He's staying at his dad's house. For now. He wants me to stay here with you. Make sure you're okay."  
"I need to leave Liam. I can't do this anymore."  
"I'm sure we can fix it."  
"No," I protest squeezing my eyes closed. "It can't. He hit me Li, he hit me."  
"Does he not do that anyway?"  
"It wasn't a punishment. We argued and he slapped me. I-I had a nightmare about my dad and he turned into louis. It was louis abusing me." 

Liam holds me in his arms, rocking me back and forth waiting for Zayn to bring in my tea. I cry against his shoulder and he hushes me. 

"Li can I have my teddy and dummy?"  
"I don't know Harry. It's not good for you to do that without your daddy."

That word. The d word. 

"I want my daddy," I whimper and it's not a lie. I miss Louis terribly but I'm scared of what will happen.   
"I'll be here the whole time, yeah? Your daddy can come over but I will be here to watch over you. That okay darling?"   
"Get daddy please."

I want my daddy. 

 

Zayn hands me my dummy and Bearty with a small grin on his face as he cuddles into my side, tucking my into the blanket. He ignores me crying and just cuddles me gently to calm me down. 

"Hazza?"   
"Daddy!" I squeal and make grabby hands for him. He laughs, breathing a heavy sigh of relief and walks over to me, cuddling me to his chest.

"I'm sorry baby. Daddy didn't mean it. I love you."  
"I love you. You just scare me sometimes daddy," I mumble. He bites his lip and kisses my head.   
"I don't want you to be scared of me baby. What do you say we get you nice and full so you can sleep well and we'll give you your bottle before you have a nap or a rest?"  
"Yes please daddy. But don't want you to move."  
"You want uncle Li or Zaynie to get you a plug?" He asks. 

"No," I pout blushing at the thought. I let go of him and watch him get the things, whispering to Liam. Uncle Li nods and pats daddy on the shoulder. 

"Daddy says whispering is naughty," I huff. Liam smiles and nods his head.   
"Yeah. Your daddy is naughty sometimes. Needs a good punishing." Daddy's face goes pink and he scratches his neck awkwardly.   
"Do you mind helping Zayn make the bottle while I - y'know sort Harry out?"

Liam sighs and leaves the door open while daddy steps towards me with a baby blue round plug in his hand.   
"Gonna fill you up nicely yeah baby?"

I roll onto my tummy and suck harder on my dummy as he pulls my pants down. He stretches me out slowly, gently pressing kisses on my thighs. He makes his way up to three fingers before he replaces it with the cold plug.   
"Good boy for daddy, aren't you?"   
"Daddy," I whine, daddy pushing the plug in quickly and patting. The base gently when it's snug and secure. 

"Does my baby want his little boy pyjamas on?" He asks.   
"Yes please daddy." 

I curl up into a ball and wait for daddy to come back with my pyjamas. He changes me quickly and cuddles me in the bed, wrapping the blanket around us.   
"Daddy loves you so much no matter what. You know that?"  
"I love you," I whimper and cling on tightly. He kisses my head and nods. We share a knowing look and he kisses me on the lips just before I actually fall into being little. 

"I know what you've just done mister. I love you," daddy grins. I nod and bury my head in his shoulder. "Uncle Li has your bottle sweetie sit up."

I sit in my daddy's lap and spit out my dummy to accept the bottle.   
"Is that yummy?" Daddy asks with a smile on his face. I nod and hum, looking up at him with wide eyes. 

"Daddy needs to burp you hunny." Once I'm done he rubs my back until I burp loudly and kisses me on the nose. "Does my baby want to snuggle with his daddy?" 

I nod happily and bury my head in his chest, wrap an arm around him and sigh contently. 

 

Uncle Liam sits in the corner of the room with a worried face, constantly watching us.   
"I need to speak to you when you're a big boy Harry," daddy whispers.   
"Do I have to be a big boy?" I whine.   
"No baby. You can be little as long as you like. Yeah? No ones going to make you do anything at all. You do what you want. As long as you're being a good boy," he soothes.   
"Okay daddy."

 

We watch sponge bob for a while until it's time for lunch. We have pizza that Zayn ordered and I wear my bib, accepting the food my daddy feeds me. 

 

I fall asleep after lunch and have the same nightmare I had before. 

But when I wake up I have arms around me and I'm held to a strong chest. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly and press my face into his neck.   
"Darling why're you crying?" He asks, hands running through my hair instinctively to calm me. I gasp and push him away, louis backing off straight away. 

Liam rushes to my side and pulls me backwards off the bed. I thrash and yell, kicking out. Zayn grabs my wrists and pulls them above my head, the couple laying me on the floor. Liam pins my legs to the floor and I stop struggling, body going lax as I cry. 

"What's wrong Harry?" Liam asks gently, shushing my cries.   
"Bad dream."  
"Are you still little?"   
"No."   
"Will you be good when we let go of you?" I sniffle and nod my head. He sits up, off my legs first and waits a few moments before moving Zayn away from my head. 

 

I sit up and lean against the bed frame, gulping in deep breaths of air. I stare wild eyed at Louis who is stood in the corner, watching me with nervous eyes.   
"Should I g-go?" Louis asks.   
"No." I say at the same time Liam answers:   
"Yes."

"I'm listening to what Harry wants."  
"Don't go. Just sit on the couch don't touch me though."   
"No I won't do anything unless you tell me to," he promises. 

He sits on the couch but makes no move to come any closer.   
"What was your dream about?" Liam asks.   
"Louis. The dreams I have about my dad. I had one of them. It was Louis instead of my dad hitting me."

Louis covers his face and shakes his head. My heart clenches when he coughs wetly and rubs his face.   
"Can I leave the room?"   
"Lou-" he looks at me, completely distraught. I nod my head and he rushes out, closing the door behind him. I can hear his cries through the wall. 

"Go see if he's okay Liam. Please just make sure he's alright."  
"Harry this is about you not him," Liam scowls.   
"And I'm asking you to check on him. Please Li. I'm angry at him but I still love him."

Zayn approaches me carefully and sets a comforting hand on my shoulder.   
"Want me to do your hair babe?" He smiles. I laugh wetly and nod my head. 

We talk things over as he plays with my hair, braiding it as small as he can.   
"How did you learn this?"  
"My sisters used to make me do thrived hair at the weekends or if I was babysitting. I'm not too bad at makeup either," he grins.   
"I'd love to have a little sister. Or a daughter. Or a son for that matter." Zayn goes quiet and continues braiding it tightly. 

A little later on, when I'm dressed in a pair of jeans and a tight t shirt, Arctic Monkeys is playing in the background of mine and Zayn's conversation. Louis knocks our special knock - he knocks on each corner of the door some soft and some hard. It means 'can I come in?'

"Yeah," I call out. He pokes his head around the door and smiles sadly, eyes still shining and his face blotchy. 

"I need to know if you want me to stay in the house with you or not."  
"God Louis I'm scared. I'm scared to death because of my nightmares. I don't know what to do." He nods understandingly and bites his lip. 

"I'll stay at my dads until you figure it out okay?"  
"And we can have supervised daddy time if I need it?" I ask, blushing at my own question. louis grins then, such a beautiful sight.   
"Yes we can have supervised daddy time if you want. You know before you went under I wasn't lying?"  
"I know. And you know the same stands for you. We have problems- we all do. We can work through it all I promise."

"I know we will, I'll make sure of it . Would you be alright getting therapy?"  
"We already do."  
"Not us. You. For your problems with your childhood, your nightmares. I don't like you being afraid of me."  
"Neither do I. Yes. I'll consider it." He smiles gratefully and blows a kiss before he gathers a few throngs he'll need to have at his dad's. 

"I love you Haz. Don't forget it."  
"I don't think I could if I tried. I love you." He smiles to himself and nods his head before he leaves. 

 

I hope to god we can work through this. We will, won't we? Something tells me we can make it- but maybe that's too ambitious. I don't know but my heart aches without him. And I can't sleep without him by my side. 

Let's just hope it's fixed soon.


	7. Chapter 7

I find myself wanting to be little so I can be with Louis and not feel guilty. 

I think he knows that I'm not truly in my headset but he doesn't mention it thankfully- just plays along with it. 

He usually keeps me plugged when we meet, more than likely a replacement of the fact we're not able to be intimate since we're under the watchful eyes of Liam or Mark. They leave the room when he puts in my plug but leave the door open in case I flip out like the other day. 

I don't get much sleep unless Louis is with me so I sleep a lot when he's over and were trying to convince his dad to let him stay the night.   
"Mark please?"  
"No, because how do I know he's not going to make a mistake again?" He asks with an eyebrow raised.   
"So what you're saying is that we can't ever get back together or make progress in case he makes a mistake?" 

He sighs and take his glasses off.   
"Fine. Do what you guys want but don't cry to me when something goes wrong." I nod my head triumphantly and walk away. "Haz. You know you can speak to me if you need to," he huffs and runs a hand over his face.   
"I know Mark."

 

"Lou, you can stay as long as you want," I grin when I get home. He breathes a breath of relief and then stares up at me.   
"What do you want to do?"   
"God you're horny aren't you?" I laugh. He groans and leans back, covering his face.   
"I can't help it. It's hard to get off without you helping."  
"Oh my god. You think I'm any better? I get punished if I get myself off without asking." He laughs and nods his head. 

"Are you hinting towards a punishment or?"   
"No," I protest and back away quickly but he grabs my wrists, pulling me close to him.   
"Was only kidding with you baby. No ones laying a hand on you like that. Including me. Okay?"

I nod my head and breath in his smell, relaxing into his arms.   
"I missed you," I mumble.   
"You've seen me a lot," he smiles.   
"I can't sleep properly without you here. We haven't had any alone time."  
"I know. I've missed you too. God I'm so sorry for what happened. You know that right?"  
"Yes I do. But when I do fall asleep my nightmares don't paint you in the best light."

 

"Maybe it's not the best idea for me to stay the night then. If you're having nightmares about me."  
"Louis the nightmares came back not because of… what happened, but because you weren't there while I slept. You being there will stop me having it." He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths before he opens his eyes again and nods. 

"But the only way we're doing anything- I mean even watching a film, you're the one initiating it. I don't need to step over the line in your territory."  
"It's your house. Not mine."  
"Our house," he emphasises and kiss my forehead. "Sorry."  
"Don't apologise. If I don't want it to happen or don't like it I'll stop it and tell you."

He nods and looks down at his lap.   
"You're never nervous, Lou. Don't let me be the reason you are."  
"I'm always nervous around you. Just a lot of what you say while we have sex and stuff like that can help to boost my ego. But when I'm not all Dom and controlling you, I'm so scared I'm going to make the wrong move."  
"That's how I feel all the time. Even when you're not all Dom and controlling." 

He grins and nods.   
"We're both nervous wrecks together then."  
"Together," I repeat and he bites his lip, nodding again.   
"Together."


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm just going to ask do you want to do anything sexual?" Louis asks as we're cuddling in bed.   
"No not really." He kisses my cheek and pulls his top off.   
"Do you mind if I have a wank? I can go into the bathroom if you-" 

I push my lips against his and move his hand to his crotch.   
"Just do it here." He nods, wide eyed and flushed. "You look so hot." 

I'm getting hard and I whine, pushing my hand into my own boxers.   
"This is okay right?" I ask quietly.   
"Do what you want. If you want to wank and come then do it. I'm not going to stop you unless I'm uncomfortable with it."

 

He pulls my shirt off me and pushes my pants down. When he retreats I grab his hand and pull it to my boxers.   
"Please Lou just touch me," I whine. He does so happily and moves his hand quickly, thumbing over the head of my dick as I pant into his mouth. 

"Can I?" I moan, trailing my knuckles against the waistband of his boxers.   
"Yeah," he chokes out, moving his hand away to allow space for mine in his boxers. 

We move our hands quickly until I roll over, hips pressing into Louis'.   
"This okay?" He asks. I nod and lean down to connect our lips again as I grind my hips into his, groaning as I gain much needed friction. 

"God I love you," he moans against my throat, sucking marks into my skin as I clench my hands intones hair, holding him close. His legs are bent and open, against my sides while my feet are either side of his hips.

I whimper and push my bum into his hands when he grabs handfuls of my arse, murmuring how perfect I am into my neck. 

"Shit," he groans and comes, wetness underneath me. I watch his orgasm rip through him and hump shamelessly against him as he tightens his grip, digging his fingers into my bum. 

It results in me coming, pressing my mouth to Louis' sloppily as I ride out my high.   
"God you're gorgeous," I whisper against his chest once we've both collapsed, my body lax and sprawled across his. 

"Ew," I squeak when Louis shifts. I scrunch my nose up while I move. "We're all sticky."  
"That's the first time I've come in my pants since I was going through puberty."  
"Lovely," I laugh. "C'mon we need to shower." 

He groans as I pull him off the bed and walk with him to the bathroom.   
"Turn around," I demand.   
"Why? Have you got a tattoo on your arse since the other day?"  
"Turn around!" I repeat, blush spreading across my cheeks. He huffs and turns around long enough for me to kick off my boxers and put them in the washing basket. 

By the time he turns around I'm I'm in the shower, washing off the evidence of our 'session' earlier.   
"Really?" He asks when he climbs in behind me and I can hear the grin in his voice, know how smug he looks right now. "Out of all we've done coming in your pants is what you're most bothered about?" He laughs. 

 

I roll my eyes and continue washing myself. When I turn around Louis is pouting, bottom lip stuck out.   
"I was only teasing babe. I don't mind that you are shy."  
"I know. I'm not annoyed at you, just thought it'd be a bit embarrassing to have drying come on my balls. Not too attractive." Louis laughs and kisses me gently.   
"You're always so hot. I've seen you in more… compromising positions," he smirks. 

"God I don't understand why I love you," I laugh. He looks hurt and keeps his eyes on the floor. "Of course I do, babe. You're the best boyfriend I've ever had."  
"I'm the only boyfriend you've ever had," Louis laughs. I grin and kiss the end of his nose. 

"And only one I'll ever have you beauty. Now come here and kiss me shithead."  
"How romantic," he grins, pressing his lips to mine, his hands on my hips as we kiss slowly, savouring every moment we have together. 

"I. Love. You." I repeat. "And I don't know how many times I need to say t to get it through your head. But I'll say it happily and truthfully as long as it still stands. 

He blushes and nods before he grabs us a towel each to dry off with.   
"I hope it stands for a long time," he whispers, so quiet I'm not sure I was meant to hear it but I do.   
"So do I." His face goes redder and smiles bash fully. 

When we're done getting dry he braids my hair while we watch reruns of QI. 

"Are you bothered about me being naked to bed?" He asks.  
"After what's just happened?" I grin. "No it doesn't bother me."

We lie cuddled together, glowing and feeding off the others attention as we drift asleep. 

"I love you."   
"I love you." We kiss once more before I tuck my head into his shoulder and we sleep. 

 

It's like the other day never happened. I just wish it actually didn't. 

But that's the first night in days that I wake up because of sunlight and not a nightmare. Louis is my cure and always has been.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day Mark comes over asking me to decide whether I'm staying with Louis or not. And I get so nervous, so torn between two mindsets that I have a panic attack. 

I cry into the toilet bowl, Louis rubbing my back to calm me down.   
"Harry I don't mean to make you so upset. But we need an answer," Mark apologises. 

"Dad, you're not helping!" Louis yells, making me whimper and hide. "It's okay. You want me to go?"  
"No. Stay just be quiet please," I snuggle. 

"Okay. That's fine love. You think you're done being sick?" I nod my head and hold onto him as he lifts up and pulls me over to the bed. He strips my clothes off and pulls the quilt over me quickly. 

"Harry. When you've made your mind up tell me what you want. Don't let anyone else influence your decision."

 

Louis climbs behind me, fitting his legs outside mine, my back pressed against his chest. He circles his arms around my waist and presses kisses along my neck softly. 

 

"What're you thinking about, babe?" He whispers.   
"What I'm going to do. I want you to stay but what happened is bad."  
"Well I want you to do what you think is best. If that's kicking me to the curb then so be it."

 

A little later, after a while of thinking about I grab my phone, dialling Mark's number. 

"I want to stay with him." 

And then I hang up, smiling at Louis. 

He rugby tackles me against the bed and presses kisses all over my face. 

"I love you."  
"I love you," I grin, pulling him down with my hands locked behind his head. 

I smile against his lips, opening my mouth to create room for his tongue. I tug at his hair, moaning softly into his mouth. 

This boy will be the death of me.


	10. Chapter 10

We go on a date to celebrate, a trip to the cinema to see Get Hard. 

Louis whispers innuendos in my ear the whole way through making me giggle and get shushed by the other people around us. His hand rubs up and down my thigh, squeezing and rubbing circles, as part of his goal to actually 'get me hard'. 

"Lou, stop!" I chastise. He grins and rolls his eyes but takes his hand away. I sigh with relief and then have to stop myself from groaning in despair when his hand returns and is unzipping my jeans. 

"Louis. Watch it."  
"Colour?" I bite my lip.   
"Green."  
"Tell me if it changes."

I'm hard now, from Louis whispering dirty things in my ear to his soft touches along the seams of my jeans. His hand dips past my jeans and into my boxers. 

"You not been wearing panties lately?" He hums.   
"They reminded me of you." He sucks on my shoulder, hand working to carefully pull my dick out. 

 

He strokes me slowly, thumb rubbing over my slit. I hiss and buck my hips up into his hand as he tuts.   
"Be good."  
"I'm trying," I gasp. He kisses me, probably to shut me up as he strokes his hand up and down faster and faster, twisting and squeezing just right. 

"Gonna come. Can I come?" I pant against his mouth, writhing in my seat.   
"Go ahead darling," he grins and moves his hand to cover the top of my dick. 

 

I bite down on his bottom lip in an attempt to keep quiet, breaking skin but too far gone to care. His hand successfully stops my come going everywhere. Louis brings his hand up to my mouth and I whine, pouting sadly. He raises his eyebrows and I sigh, collapsed against the chair. I lean forward and slowly lick it up, swallowing every bit.   
"Keep some in your mouth."

I get the last few bits but hold it in my mouth, looking for instruction. His lips crash against mine and pry my lips open with his tongue. He swaps the come between our mouths, moaning as he takes it and swallows it happily. 

"You're so good. Did amazing Harry. You want to have a nap? I know you get tired after you've came." I peck him on the cheek and nod my head, snuggling into his side as he tucks my dick back in my pants. 

"Sorry about your lip," I whisper.   
"It's okay. Felt quite nice actually. Was very hot."

 

When I wake up it's because the film is over and everyone else has left their seats.   
"You alright?"  
"Yeah. Did you not want me to…" Louis shakes his head.   
"I was happy with what you did. Were so good for me. My good boy, right?"  
"Your good boy. Now can we go home?"  
"Yes we can."

 

We go and cuddle on the couch together, Louis combing his fingers through my hair.   
"I'm so sorry for what happened. I never meant to."  
"I don't want to talk about it babe. Let's not dwell on the past."  
"Babe?" He grins. I blush, nodding my head.   
"I-is that bad?"

"No. I like it. You just don't call me pet names besides Lou and daddy."  
"I like calling you daddy."  
"You feel safe when you're little don't you?"  
"Yeah. It's- it's better than I ever thought it could've been. I just worry about getting attached to it and then if we ever part ways, I won't be able to handle it."

"Let's hope that doesn't happen. If it does I'd happily be your daddy under the circumstances. I can't stand the thought of someone looking after my boy."

"Yeah. And like-what if we have kids? I can't act like a child around them."  
"We'll work it out won't we?"  
"Yeah. Who says we have to have kids? You've never shown an interest."

"I'm not interested in having kids just yet. But maybe later in life. I'm going to put you first though. If you aren't ready or don't want to we won't have kids."  
"Thanks for being so understanding. I love you." 

He grins, repeating it back to before kissing me gently. When we pull back he stares lovingly at me, a small smile on his face.   
"Can I make love to you?"  
"I don't know," I smirk. "Can you?" He grins.   
"May I make love to you?"  
"You may."

I've missed this so much. I've missed us.


	11. Chapter 11

I pull at his top, whining as he shakes his head.

"I want you to do it. Do what I'd usually do."  
"Y-you want me to top you?"  
"I want to give over control to you. I want you to know what it's like." Louis laughs wetly when I throw myself at him, clasping my arms around his waist. 

"I love you y'know?" I giggle. He sniffles and kisses my head.   
"I know. I love you too. Is this okay with you or-"  
"It's okay. Got to try everything once, right?" He smiles.   
"Right. So go on. I'll be completely compliant."  
"I want you to be you. My boyfriend. If you're uncomfortable or feel like you should do something tell me." 

He nods his head.   
"I will, I promise." 

I bite my lip, peeling his top off and leaving kisses and marks as I go. I suck on his neck, that spot that makes his knees go weak. He moans, tugging at my collar. 

 

I happily comply and lift it over my head with a smile. My fingers move quickly to unbutton and pull his pants down to his thighs. I scrape my fingernails lightly over his waist band, drawing patterns along his hips as he grows more needy but never going low enough to touch him properly. 

He groans pushing his hips into the air. I grin and pull his boxers down and take a hold of him properly, moving my hands in steady, slow strokes to get him fully hard.   
"This okay?" I ask softly. He nods his head, neck craned back and eyes closed. 

"Colour?" His lips curl up into a smile.   
"Green."

I stand and take his pants and boxers fully off, throwing them in a corner. Louis passes me the lube, eyebrows pressed together and his lip drawn between his teeth. I lean down and pull at it with my thumb. 

"You're sure about this?"   
"Yeah. I want to. I'm obviously gonna be a little nervous because of my past experience." I remember what he told me. 

How many times he's unwillingly bottomed. 

"Oh, Lou," I sigh, kissing his lips gently. 

I undress myself, grabbing the lube again and kneeling in front of Louis.   
"Spread your legs a bit?" Louis flushes crimson, moving his legs wider. 

I lean over him and cover my fingers in lube. Gently, carefully, I push one finger in and wait for him to adjust.   
"Colour?"  
"You want me to keep you updated?"  
"Yes."  
"Green." 

I move my finger in and out slowly, crooking it to find his prostate. Louis moans and wriggles his arse against my hand. Two fingers make Louis clench and whine. He tips his head up to meet my lips, letting me control it. 

I stretch him out and work my way up to three fingers.   
"Okay?" I mumble into his throat. He hums and opens his legs wider. 

I pull my fingers out, spreading lube over my dick and pressing it against his hole.   
"You're sure? We can forge-"  
"I'm sure. Go on. Just kiss me while you do it," he smiles. But I can tell he's worrying. 

I do as he wishes and kiss him slowly as I push in, swallowing the little noises he makes. 

"Chris. No- c-Chris. Stop!" He screams. I jerk and pull out backing away, feeling the tears coming and that feeling in my throat.   
"Louis?" I whisper. 

He curls into himself and starts crying, mumbling things I can't hear. Nervously I stand up and place my hand on his shoulder.   
"It's me Louis. It's Harry. Not Chris. It's me. Not him. No one will hurt you." 

I roll him over onto his back and hold his face to look at me.   
"Louis! It's me not Chris. It's Haz, your boyfriend?" He stares at me wild eyed then before he breaks down and throws his arms around me. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." 

He is shivering but feels hot.   
"You feel ill at all Louis?"  
"A little. I'm sorry Haz."  
"I know you are. You don't need to be. You feel sick and tired and sad?"

 

He nods his head and cuddles into me more.   
"That's okay babe. Just lie there and I'll go get some tea for you to drink. I'll even put some honey in, your favourite right?" He sniffles and nods as he watches me go. 

I ring Mark. 

"What's he done?"  
"Mark-" I gasp, tears flowing now. "We had sex. But he bottomed. Said he wanted to and I made him give his colour and everything but I think he's gone into subdrop. I don't know what to do! He started screaming telling someone called Chris to stop it."

"Harry calm down. It's okay. Go cuddle him and show him how much you love him and how well he did. Make his tea and just gold him tight. Tell him I'm coming over. Don't tell him he's dropped."

I follow his instructions and make the tea, cuddling Louis tight and holding him while I tell him how perfect he is. Mark lets himself in with his key and comes up stairs. 

"You boys alright?" He smiles sadly. Louis shrugs and I nod my head.   
"We're good aren't we Lou? Keeping each other warm?" Louis kisses my side and snuggles into my chest. 

"Just keep doing what you're doing. He'll go to sleep and probably be a bit scared or submissive when he wakes up. When he's not dropped he'll probably be really reserved and submissive too. Just be gentle with him. If you need anymore help just call me. You're good for him Harry. I'm glad you two have stayed together after everything."  
"Me too." 

Louis whines and mumbles a small ' be quiet please.'   
"Sorry love," I smile, running my hand through his hair. "Gonna have a nap?"  
"Mhm. Love you."  
"Love you lots. Now go to sleep and rest. You should feel better in the morning. Love you no matter what, yeah?"  
"Yeah. You too." 

I kiss his head and bring the blanket over his shoulders before I close my own eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

When I wake up in the morning Louis is gone and my bed is cold. I groan and roll over.

"Lou?" I yell.

"What?" He shouts back.

"C'mere." He pass into the bedroom, fluffy socks and my over sized jumper on.

 

"Come sit with me." He bites his lip. "Do you remember what I told you before you fell asleep last night?" I ask.

"No."

"I told you I'd love you no matter what. And that still stands. Now get your butt over here and sit with me." He shuffles over and sits next to me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It just happened."

"I know. You couldn't help it babe. I understand you freaking out about it. You have a reason to. But you shouldn't be embarrassed about it. Not around me especially. I understand if you don't wish to talk about it but if you do you can tell me anything. And I'm not letting you get distant because of it."

"Can we try it again?" He asks quietly a little later on.

"I'll think about it."

"I can't believe I did that."

"It's normal. You've seen my reaction to things that have gone badly in the past, haven't you?" He just shrugs.

 

"Don't do that," I frown.

"Do what?"

"That thing where you just agree or nod so you don't talk to me because you're trying to hide your emotions."

"Will you just hold me?" I wrap my arms around him and we get comfortable before I squeeze him extra tight.

 

He cries against my chest, body shaking against me. I rub my left hand up and down his back or his side and my right arm remains around his shoulders, my hand in his hair to keep him close.

"I can't believe I've let you see me like this," he sobs.

"Lou, you've seen me piss myself, while acting like a child. I think crying in front of your boyfriend is fine." He huffs a laugh and wipes at his eyes furiously before I grab his wrists.

"Calm down. Slow, deep breaths. Just listen to what I say, alright?" "Okay," he agrees but seems sceptical. We get our limbs tangled together and Louis' head is resting on my chest.

"I love you. I love you so fucking much. No matter what. It's not going to stop. Doesn't matter what you tell me or how much you freak out. I love you no matter what." He sighs when I stop talking.

 

"C-can you say it again?"

"I love you no matter what," I whisper. I repeat it over and over again until he falls asleep on my chest.

The truth in my words is hard to comprehend but so far, nothing has stopped me loving him and I don't plan on it in the future either. When he wakes up he smiles and kisses my chest before going the toilet.

 

 

"I'm gonna make a cuppa if you want one?"

"Yes please." I make us both our drinks and set them on the coffee table.

Mark said Louis will be submissive. Now I just need to know what to do with that. Louis comes down looking haggard and rough.

"Come sit on my lap, babe." He does so quickly and tucks his head under my chin. "How you feeling?" "Tired still. A little spooked maybe. I'm calm. Relaxed. Thank you for what you did before I feel asleep. It was really nice."

"So. What do you want to do?" I ask.

"Whatever you want to."

"I want you to pick something to do. We could go see Liam and Zayn?"

"Okay." I kiss his head and help him get his coat and shoes on before we walk over there, Liam frowning at us.

 

"I thought you'd drop-"

"Maybe. Lets not talk about it now," I sigh.

He nods his head, sending me an apologetic smile. I get Louis to sit on the couch and take off his jacket. I sit next to him and he starts whining.

"What's wrong darling?" I ask, unbothered by Liam watching our odd interaction.

"Want to kneel," he mumbles. I hold back my gasp to prevent upsetting him again and kiss him softly.

"You're allowed to do that babe." He thanks me before sliding down to kneel silently at my feet. Liam frowns.

 

"He's in subspace y'know?"

"I know. It's better than him being dropped."

"Yeah. Good job at looking after him Haz."

"Thanks. Do I take good care of you?" I ask Louis. He nods his head and kisses my knee.

 

"How do you feel?" I ask the question he always asks me. "Blurry. Soft. High."

"Are they good?"

"Yeah."

"Come sit on my knee love." He swings his legs over my lap sideways and I wrap my arms around his waist.

"Good boy. You are so well behaved aren't you?" He nods and buries his face in my neck.

 

"What are you?"

"'M a good boy," he smiles.

"That's right Lou!" I kiss him gently, sliding my tongue between his lips.

 

A while later when Zayn and Liam are in the room, after hours of whispering gentle Louis starts to cry again. I wrap my arms around him tighter, as he cries.

"Are you still blurry?"

"No," he sobs out.

"What's wrong?" He ignores me and holds me closely. "I can't fix it if I don't know what's wrong."

 

He calms down after a few minutes, my hands and mouth soothing him softly. I kiss his temple.

"You going to speak now?"

"I was just embarrassed about how you've had to look after me. I'm meant to be the strong one and I completely let that fail. You did so well to help Harry."

 

"Gimme a kiss," I smile and pout my lips. He laughs before pressing his own against mine.

Surprisingly he lets me take control of the kiss still and he parts his lips, letting me lick inside of his mouth. I've never been one for sticking my tongue down someone's throat, usually enjoying it the other way round but Louis won't do it now. Louis moans as my tongue runs over his and into his mouth fully.

 

He melts underneath me, completely lax and willing. When we pull apart Zayn coughs to alert Louis of his presence and watches Louis' face go red.

 

"You alright, Lou?" Liam asks kindly.

"Can we go home?" Is his response, directed towards me. "Answer Liam. Be nice."

"Okay. I'm alright. Just need to talk a few things over with Harry." "Oh. I hope it goes well."

 

We leave a few minutes later, hand in hand and Louis is far too quiet.

"Hey. I know you're nervous about this but it's only me, yeah?" He nods and smiles. I sit on the couch and he sits next to me sideways so we're facing each other.

"I need to know how you feel about me being like this," he frowns.

"It doesn't bother me Louis. I like taking care of you. I've gone through the courses you have. Everything should be safe."

"You want to really do this?" He asks. His voice is shaky and he looks pale.

"I want to look after you. Obviously well struggle with a few things. Punishing you is not my forte and I've never really been dominant in the bedroom. I can try for you?"

"Do I have any strict rules?"

"Do you want some?"

"Can we make a new list of rules for if I'm…like this?"

"You can say the word sub you know?"

"It'll make it more real." I understand where he's coming from so I kiss his head and grab a notebook and pen.

"You write what rules you want. I'll write what rules I think will be best for you and then we'll compromise. Okay?"

"Yeah. Do I have to call you sir or master?"

"No. 'M just Harry."

We sit in silence as we write the rules on a page.

 

Louis' list.

1) no backchat.

2)follow instructions.

3) if I don't know whether something's naughty or not I ask. 4) ask permission to touch myself and come.

5) no swearing.

Punishments.

Spanking. Chastity. Ball gags.

Rewards.

Orgasms. Cuddles. Dates.

Harry's list.

1) talk to me if you're unsure or uncomfortable.

2) don't come or touch yourself without permission.

3) don't talk back or be cheeky. 4)don't swear or be rude to others.

5) try your best and always word out of you need to.

Punishments.

Time outs. Phone taken off you. Spanking (maybe.)

Rewards.

Orgasms. Kisses. Praise. Gifts. Cuddles.

We talk it over and the final list becomes this.

LOUIS' RULES:

1) Don't talk back or be cheeky.

2) Ask permission to come or touch yourself.

3) Ask if you're unsure about something and talk to Harry if you're uncomfortable.

4) Always colour/ word out if you need to. There is no punishment for wording out.

5) Don't swear or be rude to people.

PUNISHMENTS:

Ball gag.

Time outs.

Luxuries confiscated.

Spanking.

Chastity.

REWARDS:

Kisses.

Praise.

Dates.

Orgasms.

Cuddles.

Gifts.

 

Failure to follow the rules will result in a punishment I seem suitable. If you believe I'm angry or the punishment is unjust, stop me and talk about it. I will never punish you while either of us are angry or upset.

 

Louis smiles at me softly when he looks up.

"What about daddy time?"

"I-I don't know. Would you still do it?"

"Yes I would. I don't even know if me being a sub will work. I just want to try and have go again. I want to prove to myself I can do it. I want to show you that I'll do anything for you."

I don't quite know what to say so I just kiss him and pull him to my chest.

"Should we stick these on the fridge next to mine?"

"Yes please. Will we do scenes?" "Do you want to?"

"I don't know. Maybe." We stick it next to mine, smiling at our rules. "Are you feeling like a sub or a dom?"

"I think I'm more of a sub right now."

"Okay. I don't want you to stop being yourself like last time. That scared me." He nods his head.

"Do I need to get your permission to kiss you?"

"No. Unless you've been naughty. All you need to do is ask for a kiss."

"Okay. Thanks for doing this and not being judgemental."

"Louis you've seen me in much worse situations and haven't judged me have you?" He shakes his head.

"And what you told me when we first met still stands. Use your words and you don't have to look at the floor around me." Louis bites his lip and grins, nodding his head.

"I love you."

"I love you too. No matter what right?" He squeaks.

"No matter what."


	13. Chapter 13

We don't mention it for the rest of the night but when I try to wake Louis up he puts his middle finger up at me. A harsh slap to the bum makes him squeak and apologise. 

But then he's angry- never a morning person anyway, but today he seems angry at me. After we've had breakfast I tell him to go get dressed. 

"You think you can take charge of me, of what I do. And you think you're better than me!"  
"Lou. I know what you're doing." 

I gather him in my arms and tuck his head under my chin.   
"I did this when I first started. I was angry at myself for wanting to do it. So I took it out on you." He shakes his head weakly and hits my chest with a small fist. 

"Stop fighting me Lou. It just makes it harder for you." He whimpers and relaxes in my arms. "Are you going to be a good boy for me now?"   
"Yes, Harry."  
"Good. Now come on. Time for your punishment." He hesitates for a minute before he follows me into our room. 

"Just wait here. You can do whatever once I've done it."

I retrieve a ball gag and sigh as I walk back to our bedroom. Louis pouts at the sight and refuses to open his mouth when I press it against his lips.   
"Are you angry?"  
"Have I sounded angry at all?" I smile. He's stalling.   
"A little." I raise an eyebrow and he shakes his head. "No."  
"You shouldn't lie baby. Is not good. Now open your mouth."

"Can I have a kiss first?" He whispers. I grin and lean down to kiss him slowly before pulling away. I replace my mouth with the gag, hearing Louis sigh before he opens his mouth. I slide it in and fasten the straps. 

"Good. How do you colour when you have this in?" I tap the gag and he whines, squeezing his eyes closed. "Green," I demand. 

He shows me the thumbs up. 

"Yellow."

He claps. 

"Red." 

He stomps his feet. 

"Purple."

He taps me and pulls at the gag. 

"Good boy! My good boy, yeah? Just got a little mouthy today. You can carry on doing whatever. I'll decide when I take it out."

Louis potters about and whines or groans when he wants to speak but can't. I leave him for about 20 minutes before I take it out. 

"What do you say?"  
"Sorry, Harry, for being rude and hitting you."  
"Good. Took your punishment really well didn't you baby?" He nods and makes grabby hands at me. 

 

"You want to cuddle for a little while?"  
"Yes please." 

I get us situated on the couch, all comfy and snug with the fire on and the lion king playing on he telly.

 

"How do you think it's going?" Liam asks at lunch. We're at the subway ten minutes away from school and Zayn and Louis are having their own conversation. 

 

"Well. We made a list of rules, punishments and rewards last night. I punished him this morning because he had a go at me. But I talked him through the argument he was trying to start and he realised it was pointless. So he had a ball gag in for twenty minutes before I took it out and we had a cuddle."  
"A ball gag. How's that a punishment?"  
"Louis, care to explain why you wearing a gag is a punishment?" I ask quietly. 

Louis blushes, knowing what we were speaking about now.   
"Talking is how I express myself. I don't like being quiet. I don't like silence. So not being able to speak isn't fun."  
"Oh."  
"Good boy," I praise, kissing the top of his head. He beams up at me and nods his head. 

"He seems to be taking this rather well. He's going to blow up soon. You know that right?"   
"Yeah, I do," I sigh. " I'll be ready for it when it happens. We'll be fine." Liam smiles at me and nods his head, poking Zayn to get his attention. 

 

Louis turns to me.   
"C-can we go talk to Ali later? About what's a yes and no?"  
"Yeah of course baby. You know you can always go talk to Ali, Liam, Zayn or your dad without permission if you feel you need to. Do you have an idea of what you're going to put?"  
"No. But I want to set the limits."

"Right. We haven't figured out if we're going to do a scene yet."  
"Maybe. We'll wait a while?"  
"If you want babe. Should we go after lunch? We'll grab our rules for you and then we can go to her."

 

We say goodbye to the other couple and do what we planned. Ali is please to see us but pulls me aside.   
"Mark has told about what happened he other day. But I need you to quickly explain the rest."  
"That's what we're here to do. Louis' idea."  
"Oh. Okay then. How're you doing Lou?"  
"I've been good," he smiles proudly. 

"He's been very good today. He took his punishment really well too," I grin, patting his head.   
"Punishment? Tell me about it. Start from what happened yesterday and then carry on until we reach now."

Louis tells the story from beginning to end and hides his face in my arm when he's finished. I kiss his hair and hand him the sheet Ali gives us.   
"I want you to fill out the contract. But as a sub now Louis. That okay?"

"This makes it a thing doesn't it?" He whispers.   
"It's a thing anyway. You want this right? So we both know where we stand."  
"Yeah." He makes no move to write anything, just stares at the sheet. 

"If you're going to cry do it darling, holding it in hurts you." He turns then, clutches onto my shirt as he sniffles and whimpers. "It's okay," I comfort, "Its gonna be okay. We can fill these out and we can go home and have a cuddle. Would you like that?" 

 

After a little while he croaks out a small agreement and wipes his face on my shirt.   
"It's okay to cry," I soothe. He kiss my wrist and grabs a pen.

We fill out our answers. Louis looks over at my sheet and scribbles an answer. 

"Lou," I sigh. "Don't write what I like. Write down what you think. That's the whole point of this."  
"Sorry, I just-" he stops talking and doesn't try to finish his sentence. 

 

He starts again and writes what he actually thinks, biting his lip occasionally. A lot of the time he scribbled his answer out and changes it. Only to change it back to what he originally wrote. 

"You're struggling," I observe.   
"I'm so scared to try anything."  
"How about we do what I did? I picked three things to start with and a punishment. But we've already sorted them. So pick three and we'll leave the rest blank."

Spreader bars- yes  
Rimming- yes  
Swallowing semen- yes. 

"Good boy. Now you want to add any maybes?"  
"Uhm- okay."

Scratching- maybe   
Biting- maybe. 

"Is this okay?" He asks quietly. I hum and give the paper to Ali.   
"I'd be willing to help you with all of them. I tend to scratch or bite any way, don't I?"

Louis smiles smugly and nods his head.   
"Yeah. I know how to make you scream."  
"Mm, that you do babe."

Ali grins at us and copies our contracts so we can have one in our playroom. 

We thank her and leave, my arms around Louis to keep him close.   
"You were so well behaved."  
"I was a cry baby," he scowls.   
"Louis," I say sternly. " I never want to hear you say a bad word about yourself again. Okay? Unless you're telling me how you feel and it includes that."  
"Yes Harry," he mumbles.   
"Good. Go put them in our room and then we'll have a snuggle in bed with a cup of hot chocolate. Maybe have a bath together. Then I could give you a massage."

We get in and do what I planned. We cuddle and once we've drank our hot chocolate we run a bath and sit together, washing each other and kissing until we're all wrinkly. I grab a bottle of baby oil and nudge Louis. 

"Lie on your front."

I straddle the backs of his thighs and drip the baby oil onto his skin, rubbing it in and digging my fingers in to loosen the tension in his back. 

"Is that nice?"  
"Lovely," he groans as my hands rub at the dimples at the bottom of his back. "I love your hands."  
"Always good."

I grin, peppering kisses on his back and continue with the massage until he slurs out an 'I love you' and falls asleep. 

After washing my hands and cuddling in beside him I close my eyes.   
"I love you too, doll."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked for Ziam with this story has sadly been lacking as I got caught up in the latest chapters and series of events. Hope you guys enjoy. This is basically porn.

*Liam's point of view*

Zayn groans and collapses into the bed sheets.   
"Liam. I'm horny."  
"I know. How many days has it been since you've came?"  
"Too many," he whines. I pinch his thigh.   
"I wanted an actual answer." He pouts and counts in his head. 

"13 days."  
"I'll fuck you tomorrow," I decide.   
"Please. Please fuck me now."  
"No. Get undressed and we can go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow." 

Zayn smiles then and strips his clothes off, clambering into the bed and looking at me expectantly. I climb in naked after him and pull him to my side. 

"Have happy dreams," I smile.   
"I will I'll dream about what's going to happen tomorrow."

He watches Netflix on his iPad while I read a book and when I next check the time it's thirty seven minutes past twelve. I put my book down and smirk at Zayn. I trail my finger up and down his stomach, kiss his collar bones. He makes a small noise of confusion and turns his head to catch my lips. 

"It's tomorrow, baby." 

He almost throws the iPad aside from that and turns his full attention to me.   
"Thank god."

I roll over him, grinding my hips against his as we kiss. Zayn's hands are under my jaw, holding my face close as we swallow the moans the other makes.   
"Turn over. Hands and knees." 

He's quick to obey, arching his back and whining as I take my time to press my slick fingers into him. He pushes back, moaning and whimpering. 

"Live your fingers Li. So thick and nice. Fill me up so well, just with your fingers." I groan, stretching him quickly, unable to bare not being inside him right now. 

I cover myself in lube and press myself in slowly, waiting for my boy's okay before I pull out to pound in quickly, holding his shoulders for extra leverage. He moans loudly as I fuck him harder, chasing my orgasm.

 

"Can I come?" He pants, moving with my thrusts.   
"Go on," I grunt, carrying on after he's collapsed onto the duvet in a shuddering, sobbing mess.   
"What's your colour?"  
"Green," he cries. "More, please. More!"

 

I such bruises into his back, enjoying the soft little noises he makes, his eyes blurry and his head probably fuzzy.   
"You all tingly in your head?"  
"Very tingly Li. Feels nice though," he breathes. 

I kiss his neck and slam my hips against his as I come, buried deep in his arse.   
"Can feel you in my stomach," he whimpers. I grin, peppering his thighs in kisses. 

 

He groans when I pull his hips back up.   
"Stay there. and stay still."

I lick over his loose rim, nipping at the sensitive skin as he keens and tries to wriggle away. I hold his hips still as he cries and begs into the pillows. I create a suction with my lips around his rim and suck as hard as I can, happy when my come returns to my mouth. 

Zayn rolls over and pouts his lips. I tap his jaw and he opens his mouth widely as I spit my come into his mouth   
"Swallow it all baby. Not one drop spilt."

He swallows and opens his mouth to prove it, beaming. His chest is flushed and sweaty, his hair matted to his forehead.   
"You still hard, Z? Want me to blow you?"  
"Please," he whimpers. 

 

I shush him and lean down to take him into my mouth, knowing he won't last too long. I massage the head with my tongue because that gets him every time. And his hands are in my hair, pulling and tugging as he comes down my throat, melting into the sheets. 

I drag him out of bed and into the bathroom just to spray him down with some cold water.   
"You feel very hot babe, just taking care of you," I whisper and kiss his temple before I carry him to the spare room, our bed messy and sticky and gross. 

He makes a soft noise when he hits the sheets, his grip tight and pulling me to lay with him.   
"So good baby. Did amazing. You can twice! And I didn't have to tie you up did I?"  
"No," he beams. "Because I was still like a good boy."  
"That's right love. We're such a good boy."

"I'm your good boy," he whispers.   
"Yes you are," I hum. "Do I get a kiss?" 

He cranes his neck forwards to touch his lips to mine before he collapses against the sheets again.

I whisper sweet, encouraging words in his ear until he's no longer 'tingly.' He kisses me once before he closes his eyes. 

"Love you, Li. Thank you."  
"Love you more. And don't worry, was literally my pleasure." 

Zayn bats at my chest because of my joke but his lips are quirked into a smile anyway. 

I love watching him fall asleep. I get to study his face, how soft his features are and how he mumble in his sleep, will talk if you ask him questions. 

"Do you love me?" I asks quietly, not expecting an answer.   
"So much," he mumble. I gasp and squeeze him tightly to my side. 

So much.


	15. Chapter 15

*Harry's point of view*

 

Then a few days later after me and Louis have had an argument I wake up to Louis kneeling next to my side of the bed. I groan and grab his hand to pull him off the floor. 

"I don't want you to do that."  
"Chris made me do it every morning."  
"I'm not Chris," I mumble and pull him to lay with me. "I enjoy waking up with you in bed with me."

We snuggle for a little longer until Louis crawls out of bed for a wee. I go into the bathroom while Louis is still peeing to brush my teeth. 

"You're that comfortable with me now," Louis grins.  
"Mhm." Louis laughs and nods his head.  
"Good."  
"Hey, I was thinking last night," I start and Louis turns to me after washing his hands, follows me back to the bedroom.  
"That's never good," he teases, a small grin on his face.  
"I think you being a sub- correct me if I'm wrong- is more of a plan b. When you feel like you've done badly or when you feel like you've not been as manly or as Dom- like as you can."

"Say something, Lou."  
"You told me to correct you if you were wrong. And you're not."  
"Oh. Come give me a kiss." Louis clears his throat and I roll my eyes. 

"May I have a kiss please Lou?"  
"You may." That alone is a sign hat he's no longer a sub. And is now looking to control me. Which I'll happily allow. 

He presses his lips against mine gently and grins against my mouth, hands teasing near the waistline of my boxers. 

 

We eat breakfast and then lounge on the couch, watching shitty television but basking in the presence of the other. Louis brushes my hair and pushes it back with a scarf for me when I complain about being too hot. He kisses my head and tests his hand on my chest. 

 

We're snuggly all day, not leaving one another's side and loving it that way. Louis texts Liam quite a lot during the day and I can tell he's hiding something. He's planning something. I'll probably enjoy it anyway so I'll leave him to think he's sneaky for now. 

 

"I think we should go out," Louis announces at around eight. So this is what he's been planning?  
"What's the catch?" I ask quickly.  
"I was thinking we could go to this BDSM club a little while away with Zayn and Liam. I've been there a few times and I want to bring you."  
"I-I wouldn't have to do anything would I?"  
"You never have to do anything. If you want to you can. Or I can plug you. It has a dress code though love."

I huff and raise my eyebrows waiting for an explanation.  
"Subs come in with no top on. They can wear tight black pants or just underwear. And whatever shoes. But I'd like you to wear something's extra."

"Just change me please and then I'll bring up any issues I have with it then."  
"Alright. Naked." 

I bite my lip, but tug all my clothes off and wait silently. I'm pushed to lie on my stomach and I'm worked open quickly by Louis' fingers, a large plug keeping me stretched and full. Louis pulls a pair of lacy knickers up my legs, leaving them at my hips comfortably. He stands up and pinches my nipples tightly in a pair of clamps attached with a chain. He taps on my jaw with the pad of his finger. I open my mouth widely and he slips a ring gag in, fingers easily fastening it. 

"There you go sweetheart. You'll get a wrist band in there depending on your status and I'll just grab the one that applies to you. You remember how to colour?"

I show him the different colours and he nods, kissing my nose sweetly. 

"Make me so proud," he grins and brings me into his arms, giggling when I drool on his chest. I mumble out a 'sorry' and he grins and ruffles my hair.  
"I know you are, lovely, but it's okay. I put the gag in your mouth it's okay to drool on me. You can't help it."

 

We meet up with Zayn and Liam after Louis checks how I'm feeling and Zayn not so subtly knocks into me to move the clamps. I groan around the gag and Liam and Zayn giggle to themselves.

"Poor lad," Liam sighs. "Maybe we should add a few things to you for being mean?" Zayn shakes his head quickly.  
"Sorry Liam. I won't do it again."  
"You don't want anything? You haven't got spacey in a while and you're showing signs of wanting to. Do you want to?"  
"Yeah but not in public. I'd like to get a little spacey. But I don't want to go under until I'm at home."

"Consider it done," Liam grins, kissing his temple. Zayn curls into his side while he drives, Louis and I sat in the back. I'm sat on his knee and he keeps moving his leg, pushing the plug and tugging on the chain. I whine high in my throat. 

"What's wrong?" He asks softly. With flaming cheeks I wrap my fingers around the base of my dick. "Oh. I forgot to put your cock ring on you." I whimper as he fiddles his hand into my underwear to slide the ring up and snugly rest at the base of my erection. 

"You're giving him a tough time," Liam comments.  
"He's fine. Love it, don't you love, there embarrassment of people seeing you like this, knowing that they want you but only I can have you?"

I keen high and breathy, wiping my chin on Louis' sleeve as he laughs. He presses kisses to my jaw and bites down hard just below my Adam's apple, sucking the skin between his teeth harshly. I dig my nails into his shoulder, relaxing the rest of my body into it. 

"Good boy, such a good lad," Louis whispers against my neck. "You think you're going to go under tonight?" I nod my head and nuzzle my face into his neck, breathing in his smell as I slobber on his neck. 

"We're here darling." 

 

Louis has brought a back pack and when I push it and look at him he kisses my head.  
"To take care of you." I feel my muscles trying to smile but my mouth is stretched enough so I just try to show how much I appreciate it with my eyes. "You're welcome," he whispers. 

Thank god he can read me so well. 

We go into the club, Louis fastening a yellow glow stick around my wrist and a red one around his own. I look at him with confusion. 

"Yellow is a taken sub. Red is a taken Dom. This way people won't touch us or will have to speak to me if they want to speak to you." I nod my head and follow him inside properly. 

 

There are people demonstrating in the far left corner and in the closest corner there is a corridor and two security guards standing at the entrance. There is a bar in the right corner and a load of stations to try things out around the middle of the room. In the back there are booths that we go to first. 

The lights are dim but there are spotlights on the stations and demonstration areas so they can easily be seen. Louis leads me with a strong hand on my back to sit down. He tugs on the clamps to the beat of the music playing quietly. I whine and keen, bucking my hips up, my pleas muffled behind the gag. 

"You alright darling?" Louis asks gently. I nod my head and he wipes my mouth with a napkin and a smile. 

"Being very well behaved aren't you love? Isn't he Liam?"  
"Yeah. He's doing brilliantly," Liam smiles gently. "So are you Zayn."

 

I direct my eyes over to Zayn who is knelt beside Liam, quiet as can be and unmoving. It's rather strange to see someone that still and almost dead but I know he's just retreated into his own head more. 

Good for him. 

"You want me to fuck you Haz? I'm so hard for you. Want me to bend you over our table so you have to look at Liam while I fuck you nice and hard, plug you back up once I've came? Or should I take you in front of everyone? Show everyone what a good boy you are." 

I just cling to him, happy with whatever choice he made with the knowledge I was going to be fucked. I haven't had Louis in me for so long. Louis wraps his arms around me and presses his lips to my ear.  
"Want you to sit on my cock at the bar and only pay attention to me. Okay?" I nod my head and try to keep up as we walk to the bar. 

 

A few people stare at me as I go but the strong grip Louis has on the back of my neck in front of everyone else makes my head fuzzier. Louis sits at a bar stool and takes a travel size lube from his pocket. 

"Bend over." I bend at the waist, resting my hands on my knees and wait. My panties are moved aside for the plug to be pull out and he rests it on the chair next to me before pulling me to sit on his dick in one smooth motion. I arch my back and keen high and breathy in my throat as he thrusts up into me, nails digging into my hips. 

I tap three times on his knee and pull on the gag before he snaps the fastening open. 

"Okay love?" He asks, completely stopped.  
"Lou," I sob, leaning back into him. "I need to come. Please can I come? I'll be a good boy, I promise!" I ignore all the stares I have gathered and focus myself on the feeling of Louis beginning to thrust back in sloppily. 

"You'll come when I say so. Just relax, no worries. If you're good you'll be allowed to come. Always my good boy aren't you baby?" I moan and grind my hips back against him and throw my head back. His hands find the chain and tug relentlessly on it rot hear the high pitched whimpers that fall from my lips. 

 

"Gonna make me come baby?" I clench around Lou as best as I can to make it as good as he deserves. He positively wrecks me, pulls my cock ring off and I come untouched, crying out loudly as he comes in me. 

He plugs me back up and sits me on the stool, bending to be in between my legs. He wraps his lips around my dick and sucks determinedly, like he's sucking the come from my cock, not allowing me to soften all the way. The over sensitivity and predatory look in Louis' eyes make me almost fully go into my head. 

"Gonna be still and come again for me love?" I nod my head and lean back, gripping the surface behind me tightly as Louis continues to coax a second, quick orgasm from me. I lie limply against the cool counter behind me as I cry, Louis still working his hand over me. My orgasm has pushed me over, now floating and fuzzy and blurry. 

"What's your colour baby?"  
"Green. It- sensitive," I choke.  
"Yeah. You come once more and we're done okay?" I nod my head and pray for it to come quickly, whimpers and whines falling from my lips as I struggle to keep my hips still. 

Once I finally come for a third time it's barely a trickle and Louis scoops my loose body up gently, holding me against him.  
"Did so good. Amazing. Always so amazing. So many people saw how well you did and how good you were for me. For me."  
"You," I mumble with a lazy smile. Louis kisses my temple and gets his phone out. 

 

"Yeah. Come and help me."

A few minutes later Liam appears with Zayn and they grow a blanket around my shoulders before helping Louis support me to that mysterious corridor. But I'm too preoccupied with making marks on Louis' neck as we walk to pay much attention. 

The guards smile and open the door, allowing us to go in. Zayn and Liam disappear into one door and me and Louis go through another. 

He drops me on the bed and sits next to me. 

"I'm so proud of you baby. You want to sleep now? Or do you want to cuddle for a little? Carry on playing?"  
"Playing. I- can you spank me?"  
"You have been naughty?"  
"No. I like it."

Louis kisses my cheek before rolling me over to my front, my arse stuck up in the air. He cups his hand as he spanks me and it knocks the plug against my prostate so I'm hard once he's finished. My arse is pink and tingly. 

"You need to come or you think you'll sleep it off?"  
"Come please," I mumble tiredly. Louis pats my bum before pulling the plug out slowly only to replace it with his fingers. 

 

He rubs his two fingers continuously against my prostate, licking sloppily around his digits as I cry into the pillow, backing my hips against his hand.  
"It's okay lovey. Let go. Come." It's like it was ripped from me at his words. 

I feel the waves of pleasure rack through my body but nothing comes out except a yell from my mouth. Louis takes his fingers out and finally pulls the sweaty and come covered panties off. 

He rolls me onto my side, curls up against me and ties my hair away from my face. 

"You feeling alright?" He asks softly. I smash my lips against his lazily and sloppily, Louis kissing me back with just as much enthusiasm. 

"How d'you feel?"  
"Loved," I sigh happily. "Fuzzy. Warm. Love you." 

"You should always feel loved darling. I love you so much. You always do so well for me. You know that?"  
"Yeah. 'M a good boy for my Lou."  
"Yeah," he grins. "Good boy for your Lou." 

I snuggle against him happily and accord he kisses his presses around me face. 

"Sleepy."  
"Go to sleep then," he laughs.  
"I will. Night Lou. Love you."  
"Night. Love you baby."

 

I fall asleep fuzzy headed and content and loved and so-so happy with life.


	16. Chapter 16

Louis calls me baby in the morning, wraps me up in a blanket and kisses me gently. We go home and sit in bed, my arse sore from last nights activities. 

"I have to go away for a few days," Louis announces at lunch.   
"What why?"  
"I'll tell you when I get home. I leave tomorrow."  
"Why have you only just told me?"  
"Because I knew you'd get upset and worried," he sighs. I nod and pout, wishing there was a way I could convince him to stay, though I knew there wasn't. 

While Louis is washing the dishes I go into my room and get Bearty. I put him on our dresser and wait for Louis. 

He comes back in and doesn't even blink, just grabs my teddy and kisses me on the forehead before going to my room. He comes back with a dummy and blanket. 

"N-need my nappies daddy." He bites his lip and grabs my nappies too.   
"Let's get you out of these big boy clothes then." 

He pulls my clothes off gently and straps the nappy around my hips, leaving me in just that. 

"What's my little boy going to do when I go away?"  
"Can I come with you daddy?" He shakes his head, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. 

"If you're still little you'll stay with Uncle Li and Uncle Z. I'll FaceTime you every day and make sure you're okay."  
"Okay daddy."

He makes me a bottle and holds me tightly as I drink it, kissing my face softly with a smile. 

"You gonna go in your nappy?"   
"No daddy."  
"Why love?"  
"'S gross. Daddy will think I'm yucky."  
"No I won't. That's why I put them on you. You go in your nappies or you don't wear them."  
"P-pwease daddy?"  
"No." I pout as he gets up to move my things away. 

"If you've not done at least a wee by bed time you're in trouble mister." 

I sigh and cuddle Bearty while watching spongebob, ignoring my bladder. A little later I feel the need to pee. But then daddy comes into the room. 

"You okay baby?"  
"I-I need a wee wee."  
"Go then," he shrugs, cuddling up to me.   
"Not when you're sat next to me."  
"You can. It won't leak if that's why you're worrying. I won't think you're gross baby." 

He pushes his hand onto my stomach and I whine, giving up when he pins my body underneath his. I hide my face in his neck and then cried as I felt my nappy get wetter. 

"There you go baby. All finished?" I nod my head shamefully. "Need to go number two?"  
"I'm not- I don't." I bite on his neck.   
"If you need to just do it. I'll clean you up like nothing happened. Do you need to?"  
"No. What if I'm still a little boy when you're gone?"  
"Then Liam will do what I usually do."  
"He'll change my nappy?"  
"I'll ask him lovey."

 

He takes my nappy off and wipes my bottom and willy down while I cry into Bearty's tummy. He covers me in baby powder before fastening another nappy over my hips. Daddy moves Bearty away from my face and kisses my cheeks repeatedly. I giggle and move around to get away. 

"All better?"  
"All better. Daddy has magic kisses," I grin. He kisses me on the lips and then the nose.   
"Good. Go into your room and lie down for a nap. I'll read you a story and wake you up for dinner."

 

I love my daddy.


	17. Chapter 17

I cry when Daddy kisses me goodbye at Liam's house, cling onto him for dear life as uncle Zayn tries to pull me away. 

"Only for a few days baby. Be back before you know it, promise."  
"Pinky promise, daddy?" I stick my pinky up and he smiles, hooking his own finger around mine.  
"Pinky promise, sweetheart. Now let go of daddy or he'll be late and in trouble." 

I pout and let go of him, waving as he walks away, catching his little kisses he blows to me until I can't see him anymore. Liam holds my hand as I waddle indoors, the nappy between my legs separating them so I walk slower and wider. 

"C'mon Haz, let's go make cookies?" Zayn grins, leading me into the kitchen. Liam comes with us to supervise, lifting me to sit on the counter when I ask. As Zayn gets all of the ingredients out I swing my legs back and forth, humming a tune. 

"You want to sing, Haz?"  
"Yes please, Li." He goes on his phone and plays some music, singing under his breath, Zayn singing along as he dances about to get more things. 

 

"You stir this carefully while I put the oven on," Zayn instructs, handing me the bowl of mixture. I take the spoon and mix it slowly, careful not to spill any and when Zayn isn't looking Liam dips his fingers in and eats it. 

"Uncle Z!" I whine. "Uncle Liamy is eating it!" Zayn turns round and smacks at Liam's hand, Liam laughing and wrapping his arms around Zayn's waist. I frown. 

"What's wrong hunny?" Liam asks.  
"I miss my daddy giving me hugs like you give Uncle Z." He sighs and wraps his arms around me instead. 

"I know you do love. But he'll be back soon. And we can have lots of fun while he's gone. Are we going to change you in a minute?"  
"I-I haven't gone."  
"Daddy said you have to go before bed time. Okay?"  
"I want my daddy to change me, not you," I whimper, bottom lip wobbling. 

Uncle Li picks me up off the side and carries me into the living room. He sits down with me on the couch and brings me to his side, arms wrapped around me. I cuddle Bearty to my chest and suck my dummy into my mouth when Liam presses he test to my lips. 

"Zaynie will put them in the oven and then when they're done we'll have them with some milk. You can have them with your bottle?" I hum, nodding against his chest. "Then we can FaceTime your daddy while you go to sleep."

We eat our cookies while watching spongebob, but Liam's alarm goes off.  
"Bedtime!" I whine and shake my head.  
"I want to watch more!"  
"You don't do this when you sleep with daddy so why are you being naughty for me?" Liam asks sternly. 

 

"Let's go, Harry. Uncle Li will get your nappy and clothes changed and then we can FaceTime your daddy," Zayn soothes and pulls me off the couch. 

I follow after him, making sure I stomp my feet as we go upstairs to my room. Zayn tuts and just continues to tug me behind him. He pulls my clothes off until I'm left in my nappy with pink cheeks. Bearty is tucked under my arm and my dummy has not left my mouth. 

"Lie down love." I huff and shake my head. Zayn rolls his eyes and leaves the room, coming back in with his phone out. 

"Harry!" I gasp. Daddy's on the phone. "I want to see him." Zayn hands me the phone and I clutch it tightly in front of me so he can see my face. 

"Why're you being naughty?" He asks sadly. He sounds disappointed.  
"I-I don't know, daddy. I don't want to go to sleep without you." His face softens a little. 

"I'll be on FaceTime to you until you fall asleep. Now. Will you follow my instructions?"  
"Yes daddy." He smiles encouragingly.  
"Lie on your back on the floor for me. Carefully now lovey." I lay back and Liam comes in the room. "Let Liam do your nappy."

I whimper and stand back up.  
"Harry."  
"I haven't gone, Daddy." He scrubs a hand over his faces and through his hair.  
"Why're you misbehaving so much?" My lip starts to wobble and I shrug, hiccuping through my tears. "Love," he sighs. 

"Haz. We're going to kick Liam and Zaynie out and you'll talk to me." I point towards the door and the couple laugh but give up and leave. 

"Lie down. Get comfy." I snuggle into the blankets, leaning the phone on the bedside table so it's like I'm lying with Daddy next to me. He smiles at me. 

"I love you."  
"I love you, daddy."  
"I will make a deal with you. You go in the next twenty minutes while we talk or you'll be in big trouble when I get back."  
"What if I don't need to go?"  
"I know you do. You went once this morning. You haven't been for a number two either, Harry. That's not healthy baby." 

"Okay."  
"You made cookies didn't you, lovey?"  
"Yes daddy."  
"Were they nice?"  
"They were amazing Daddy."  
"Maybe we can make them when I get home. Would you like that?"  
"Yes daddy." 

I close my eyes to listen to him talk and press mute while I do a wee.  
"Baby why can't I hear you at all?" I un-mute it and smile apologetically. 

"I went for a wee daddy."  
"You don't need a number two?" I shake my head. No way. He sighs.  
"Am I still being punished daddy?"  
"Not if you're good for the rest of your stay. But if you're naughty again then yes. You will be punished."  
"Okay daddy."  
"Go get Uncle Liamy." 

With a frown on my face I stumble out of bed and waddle with a wet nappy to find Li.  
"Daddy wants to talk to you," I explain when I hand him the phone.  
"You can do his nappy now." Liam smiles and takes my hand, giving me the phone in the other. 

"Are you going to be good while uncle Li does your nappy so you're not messy, baby?"  
"Yes daddy," I pout. I lie back down, clutching Bearty tightly to my chest.  
"Give the phone to Zayn. I want to guide Liam on what to do." 

Zayn takes the phone from where he was stood at Liam's side. He walks backwards to show Daddy what is going on. 

"Haz can you focus on my voice darling? I'm going to talk you through everything." I breathe deeply and close my eyes tightly as the tears begin to collect. "Liam is going to take off your nappy now and wipe you down gently with the wipes."

Liam does what my daddy explained but that doesn't help the tears coming down my cheeks.  
"Now he is gonna slide a clean nappy under your little bottom and put some baby powder on you so you stay smooth and don't get itchy." 

When Liamy is done and has fastened the nappy around my hips he slides a t shirt over my head and sits me in my bed. I make grabby hands for the phone through my sniffles, scowling at Daddy when he shows up on the screen.  
"Are you angry at me, mister?"  
"Yes! I didn't want him to do my nappy. I wanted you to!" I sob. 

"Calm down," he shushes.  
"I want you, daddy. I miss you," I cry, gripping Bearty even tighter as I feel my chest get tight.  
"Haz, I need you to breathe slowly now. You're going to get worked up too much baby. I want you to sit up and put your head between your knees." 

I struggle to do so but I close my eyes and take the deep breaths like daddy asked.  
"There we go sweetheart. That's better, lovey." He continues to praise me and say things that make me smile until I yawn. 

"Can I lie back down please daddy?" He hums his approval and I lie back, snuggling into the covers.  
"Good boy. Such a good little boy for daddy. Are you sleepy?" I nod my head and grab my dummy from where it had fallen out of my mouth when I was crying. 

"Daddy loves you."  
"Love you daddy," I mumble, struggling to stay awake.  
"Close your eyes." I close them and relax further into the sheets, breathing evening out. 

"Sleep, baby. My little boy."


	18. Chapter 18

I wake up crying and screaming, kicking the covers off my legs. Time goes quickly, vomiting on myself and my bed as Liam tries to drag me away to the bathroom. 

"Hey it's okay, you want to call daddy?"  
"Need Daddy!"

He shushes me and rings daddy on his phone. 

"Haz baby, you okay?"  
"Daddy!!" I cry out, scrubbing at my face with my hands.   
"It's okay. Calm down. Daddy loves you baby. Yeah?"  
"Love you, daddy," I hiccup. He smiles and nods.   
"Had a bad dream?" I nod shyly. "Was it really bad?"  
"Yes daddy. It wasn't nice at all," I huff.

Li turns the shower on and undoes my nappy, sitting me in the bath tub, under the water stream. 

"Want you to breathe like daddy likes." I put my head between my knees and breathe deeply, smiling to myself as daddy praises me through the phone. 

Liam helps me wash the stench off my skin before strapping a clean, dry nappy over my bum and giving me one of Daddy's jackets. It smells like daddy so much. It's like he's here. 

 

I cuddle up on the couch with Bearty against my chest, my dummy in my mouth and daddy's jacket rubbing my against my cheek, plastered against my skin. I nuzzle my nose into the hood, breathing in to smell it again. 

"Your daddy said he loves you," Li calls. I grin and close my eyes, hoping to get some peaceful sleep. 

 

When I can't get to sleep I just lay there, resting my eyes and suckling on my dummy. 

"Uncle Li?" I shout.   
"Yes love?"  
"Can I have a bottle please?"  
"Of course. Be in, in a sec." 

I wait impatiently but sigh happily and spit my dummy out when Zayn arrives with my bottle. He cuddles me into his side, a hand holding my bottle and a hand resting on my belly. 

"Are you done?" He asks when I stop drinking.   
"Yeah."  
"Your daddy gave me strict instructions. You have to drink all of it." 

I whine but start drinking the milk slowly, eyes dropping with exhaustion.  
"You alright lovey?" I hum and burp before falling asleep against Zayn's shoulder. 

 

We sit and play games and watch SpongeBob and do jigsaws and FaceTime daddy when I get my nappy changed or while I fall asleep at bed time. Bearty stays tucked under my arm and daddy's hoody is always around my shoulders. Daddy seems very happy with that.

 

 

The next day is lazy and I stay curled up on the couch, pouting about missing my daddy. He has been gone for so long! Zayn tries to cuddle me but I huff and kick him away. He rolls his eyes and sits at the other end of the couch, telling me that he's texting my daddy. Being stubborn, I shrug and carry on watching the cartoons on the telly. 

 

Later on after Liam has given up on me talking to anyone he rings my daddy and puts him on speaker.   
"Why're you being naughty?" Daddy demands.   
"I'm not. You can't do anything about it because you're away!" I spit.   
"Don't be bad Harry. I told you you wouldn't be spanked if you were good. You aren't being good now so when I get home you're getting punished."  
"Whatever."  
"Attitude!" He warns.   
"Bye." 

I walk away and curl into a ball on my bed crying. Why am I being so naught? Daddy hates me now. 

 

I stay up later than usual, being left alone by Liam and Zayn. I have a little nap and when I wake up I'm fine.   
"My 'daddy' can fuck off if he thinks I've been bad."

I pull my nappy off and throw Bearty across the room along with my dummy. 

I wake up with arms around me and I groan, rolling away from who ever it is. They don't let me though and I'm swiftly pulled back to press against the person. They bite my neck and I sigh. 

"Louis."  
"My naughty little boy. That is not the greeting I expected."  
"Oh I'm sorry daddy. Didn't realise I have to stay in my headspace."   
"You don't. Stop being snotty. I expected you to be a little happier about my arrival than you are; considering how distraught you were when I left."

"I missed you, y'know?" He mumbles.   
"I missed you too."  
"Do I not get a hello kiss then?"   
"I prefer it when you kiss me," I smile. He grins and rolls his body over mine to connect our lips together. 

 

"Am I still being punished?" I ask a little later, after we've gone home and are laying on the couch together.   
"Mhm. I don't want to spank you on my first day back home so I might use heat rub."  
"Can we get it over with then?"  
"Go and get it out of the bathroom cupboard then babe."

 

I sigh and go to retrieve the cream passing it to Lou and bending over the arm of the couch. He pulls my pants down and smooths a thick layer of the goo over my bum. He smears it in my crack and over my hole. 

"Go on then. Twenty minutes should be enough and then I'll wash it off. Go stand in the corner for us love." 

 

I whimper as I feel the burn start and fidget as I try to stay still in the corner of the room, Louis' eyes boring into my back. 

"Doing great sweetheart."

 

It feels like I've been stood here forever. It burns and it's everywhere and I can't escape it. I start crying, clenching my hands at my side.   
"Nearly there baby."

I sob for a little while until Louis' timer goes off and I can feel a cold wet cloth wiping away at my skin, relieving the burn and making me feel better. He pulls me to lay on his chest when he sits down and I snuggle into his shoulder, holding on to him tightly. 

"I love you sweetheart."  
"I love you."  
"Took your punishment so well baby. Are you gonna carry on being a good boy?"  
"Yeah. Sorry. I was noddy because I missed you. I wanted you there not Liam and Zayn."

"We'll go and apologise to them soon. But I am so proud of how good you were. You let them change you and you didn't shut them out besides from yesterday."  
"Can we not talk about them changing me? I'd prefer not to."  
"If you can't talk about it you shouldn't do it."

"Yeah. Can we talk later? I just want to be close to you."  
"Mmm. What kind of close?"  
"Go get the lube," I laugh and pull my shirt off. He smacks a kiss to my cheek and runs upstairs. 

While he's up there I turn the telly on and put the music channel on. I pull my top off and stroke myself to get harder, though I'm already quite hard because of my punishment and the thought of sex with Louis. 

"Mm, look gorgeous, baby."


	19. Chapter 19

Louis fingers me open slowly and lazily, pressing hot kisses to my chest as he does so, so gentle and sweet that I want to cry. 

"Why're there tears baby?"  
"I love you so much," I sniffle, laughing wetly.   
"I love you too baby, so much. It's okay for you to cry so long as it's not sad crying."  
"It's not."  
"Good," he grins and bites at my bottom lip. 

 

He keeps a conversation up, still only at two fingers after about twenty minutes. But it's close and intimate so I don't want to stop it. 

 

Our lips are almost permanently together, our kisses sweet and filled with love, but it's sloppy and wet but neither of us care. 

I'm already a little spacey and blurry from my punishment and now, as Louis' fingers rub over my prostate making me keen and pant into his mouth- I can feel myself slipping a little more. I don't want to go under just from having sex. 

"It's okay lovey, just let it happen," Louis whispers obviously noticing my internal struggle.   
"Are you sure?"  
"Positive. As long as you're comfortable I am too."

So I relax and let him continue up to three fingers where he pulls them out and pats my bum.   
"Want to ride me, Haz?"  
"C-can I?" He nods and smiles. 

"Not here. Follow me."

 

He brings me into the bedroom and brings or mirror out from the closet.   
"Really want to film you one day, so you can watch back and see how good you look for me and hear all the pretty noises you make. But until we've discussed that further, we'll use a mirror."

It's full body and Louis sets it so we can see easily from where he is sat.   
"Face the mirror."

I squat over his thighs and reach back to guide him to my hole. I sink down, throwing my head back with a loud moan. Louis bites my neck, just above my 'L' necklace and really digs his teeth in. 

"Everyone will know you're mine," he whispers hoarsely, trying to stop himself from thrusting up before I was adjusted. Which trust me- I was but I felt so good I was struggling to move. 

"Everyone knows I'm yours now. Always will be," I grunt, moving my hips in circles for the time being.   
"God- you're sinful."

I look into the mirror and catch his eye, hold his gaze as I bounce up and down, biting my lip as I groan. 

He is leaning on his hands that are behind his back and is still biting and sucking marks into my shoulders. I lift up again and again, encouraged by the noises Louis makes and the looks he sends me in the mirror. 

"Haz, 'm gonna come," he moans so I bounce faster, panting and desperate to come too. I can tell when he's about to explode, his legs tense and shaky. 

Louis groans loudly and bucks his hips as I grind down onto him. He comes and collapses back onto the bed with a content sigh. 

"You didn't come," he frowns when I climb off of him. "You want me to give you a hand?" He laughs quietly at his own little pun and then looks up at me tiredly.   
"I'll be fine. You're tired, sleep." 

He kisses my head before crawling to the top of the bed and curling up under the blanket. 

I sit on the toilet and shiver at the cold seat. With thoughts of Louis only, I move my hand back and forth, brushing my thumb over my head. Due to our prior activities I am able to come quickly into my hand with a soft moan. I stay there for a little, panting before I wash my hands and admire Louis from the doorway. 

I know he won't sleep too long, hates sleeping during the day especially when I'm not with him. So I go and make us both some pasta, humming along to the music on my phone quietly. 

It's another hour before I hear Louis coming down the stairs.   
"You should've stayed in bed if you were tired," I sigh. He shakes his head and wraps his arms around my waist, tucking his face into my neck. 

"Lunch smells nice. Thanks love." I hum and put our plates on the table, pushing him away to sit down. 

"You know what you said, before?"  
"No not really. What did I say?"  
"Uhm," I murmur, blushing. "You said that we'd talk about recording us."  
"You think that's something you'd like?"  
"Yeah. I think I would."

"I'll start planning it and tell you when it'll happen."  
"Can't wait," I smile.   
"I think I know what I want to do to you," he muses.   
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah. All will be revealed next week."  
"Fun."

 

"So," I ask when we're back in bed together. "Why did you have to go away?" He goes quiet and turns to me. 

"My dad. He's making his will."  
"Why?"  
"He's not very well."  
"Louis, I'm not little right now. Don't talk to me like a baby."  
"He has been told that he has the high chance of getting cancer. He just wants to make it in case."

"Lou- that's-" I sigh and he shakes his head.   
"It's fine. He's fine for now. But I've been given the school, Harry. The school is mine when my dad retires."

"Is that good or bad, Lou?" I prompt.   
"I-I don't know. I mean it opens amazing opportunities. But it will be a busy life, you'd run the school with me. And with you being a little and our relationship I don't want to compromise anything."

"Lou, I'll help you as much as I can with the school and whether I'm with you as a little or not I'm sure you can handle it. You'll do great. You always do."

He rests his head on my chest and smiles.   
"Thanks love." 

 

"Lou?" 

He groans from behind me, spooning me as we fall asleep.   
"What Harry?"  
"What do you think about starting a family?" He inhales and presses a kiss to my neck.   
"I think we will talk about it more in the morning. Sleep now, Haz." 

I sigh and nod, closing my eyes and dream of a little girl that looks like Louis and a boy that is like me and then running around together and giggling, shouting for their daddies. 

 

I want a baby with Louis Tomlinson.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning I wake up and Louis is poking my cheek and kissing me softly. 

"Lou?" I groan and he smiles, straddling my waist, splaying his hands on my tummy.   
"You talk in your sleep, y'know Hazza?" Shit. 

 

"W-what'd I say?"   
"Well," he grins. "You said a lot about babies. About having as many as we can."  
"And what do you think about that?"  
"I think that's a very nice idea. We need to get you off birth control if you want to start soon."  
"My next injections due in a few weeks so if we're starting straight away we have a few weeks to wait." 

 

"I cannot wait."   
He shuffles down and peppers kisses over my belly.   
"I can't wait until you are all beautiful and round and full of my babies. You're going to be so grumpy. And annoying."  
"But you love me," I interrupt. "So you'll be patient and kind and caring."  
"Mhm."

 

So after a messy blowjob each and kisses later we have breakfast and cuddle on the couch naked with blankets wrapped around us.   
"Want to fist you soon," Louis smiles.   
"Just slipping that into conversation casually," I giggle. "Sounds fun."

"Might do it tomorrow. Give your arse a rest after last night. Can I film it?"  
"My arse is fine, thank you very much. I guess so, yeah."  
"Swearing are we?"  
"Shit- sorry, Lou." I huff in frustration and stand up, running upstairs to grab the lotion before joining Louis on the couch 

"10 spanks right?" I ask after handing him the tub of cream.   
"I might start doing ten per swear since you're getting better at controlling it. Does that sound okay?"  
"Yeah. So twenty?" 

He nods and helps me lay across his lap. I smile contently to myself. I'm having babies with this man and he's about to spank me. Life's good.

 

I try to stay as still as possible and I count them out loud, moaning when he praises me, rubs his finger over my hole gently. He finishes the spanks and rubs cream into my skin gently, whispering soft, kind words as I whimper. 

 

We go to the park for a picnic and kick a footy about with Liam and Zayn before we go home and snuggle in bed together again, latching onto each other like we can't breathe without one an another. 

"Can't wait to knock you up."  
"What a lovely way to say 'get you pregnant with my gorgeous children.'" Louis laughs and holds me tighter, kissing my temple.   
"They will be gorgeous and you're gorgeous and always will be." 

"I love you."  
"I love you too darling, now go to sleep, you're tired."

 

Sleep comes easy and waking up in the morning is even easier. Especially when I'm greeted with a grinning Louis, promising that we'll work our way up to a fist today. He shows me that the camera is already set up and recording in the corner of the room and kisses me gently before sending me into the loo. 

"'M gonna tie you up just so you don't hurt yourself by moving funny on my hand."  
"Okay. What're you tying me up with then?"  
"Hmm. Don't want you to hurt yourself. Leather buckles'll do ya. Go do your business and brush your teeth while I go get them."

 

I go the toilet and brush my teeth, washing myself down with a soapy wash cloth before sitting back in bed. 

Louis grins at me and kisses me quickly before he cuffs my wrists to the posts. I groan when he lifts my leg and attached a spreader bar to each ankle, attaching that by a chain the the bed frame so my feet are a foot above my neck and my legs are open wide. 

 

"Look beautiful, Harry. Absolutely stunning. Be as loud as you want mister." I grin and he kisses my thigh before slowly pushing a finger into me. I whimper and throw my head back, dick jumping and growing harder. 

"Is that nice babe?" I hum and nod my head.   
"Can you add an-another please?"  
"I know you can take fingers pretty quickly but I don't want you to feel a stretch at all until my whole fist is sliding into you."

I sigh and close my eyes, allowing myself to bask in the attention Louis' giving me and the feeling of his one finger. 

It's a good few minutes before he adds a second, my body welcoming it happily.   
"Being so good and patient for me aren't you lovey?" He coos, mouthing at the sensitive skin around his fingers. I gasp and wriggle but find myself completely held still. 

"Lou! Lou!"   
"You can swear if you wish to."  
"Fuck, Louis!" I moan. "I love you so much."  
"I love you too baby," he smiles, licking a line up to my balls. I groan and let my eyes roll to the back of my head as Louis does as he pleases. 

It's a good twenty minutes before he even mentions adding another finger.   
"Please, Lou. Need it."  
"Okay, hunny, gonna take care of you."

 

He pushes another in and is not met with any resistance, humming happily and sucking love bites into the skin of my thighs. 

He doesn't avoid my prostate but he doesn't pay it too much attention just in case I come and get too sensitive to continue. It's nice, intimate, slow. 

"Nearly there lovey," he encourages when I flinch at the feeling of his pinky finger.

"This is going to be the smallest little stretch okay? You won't feel a thing and if it hurts you use your colours."  
"Okay. G-go on." 

He pushes it in and I whine- it doesn't hurt but I can definitely tell the difference between three and four.   
"Okay?" He asks.   
"Y-yeah." 

 

Louis works his fingers in and out of me slowly until his knuckle and sliding past my rim. I gasp and clench down.   
"Hey, shh, it's okay. Everything's okay." I breathe deeply to try and relax even though his hand is so far up my arse it feels like I can't breathe. 

 

"Louis! God- Lou. Your hands are so small but they feel so big!" I squeak.   
"Maybe we can fit both of them in one day," he muses and presses a finger from his other hand against my rim.   
"Lou- no!"  
"Calm down, Haz. I'm stretching you for my thumb using smaller fingers okay?"  
"Yeah," I pant. "Sorry. Please continue."

He laughs and agrees, pushing another finger inside. I make a noise somewhere close to a cat being strangled and he stops.   
"Colour, Harry."  
"'M green. 'M so so green." He mutters a small 'good boy' and I grin. I'm being a good boy for Louis. 

 

He moves the one finger in and out while the four on his other hand stay still, waiting for me to relax. I slowly loosen up around him and he adds another after drizzling more lube over his hands. 

"I think you're ready, babe. Do you?" He asks softly, peering up at me from between my legs.   
"Yeah. 'M a little nervous Lou." He smiles and kisses my tummy.   
"That's normal, I've got you though yeah? Nothing's going to hurt you at all, baby."   
"O-okay. Yeah. Green," I sigh. 

 

He pulls both hands out and I whine, trying to stay relaxed as I can while he covers his hole fist in lube. His hand resembles a beak shape as he pushes it against my rim.

I groan as it gets wider and wider, Louis hushing me and rubbing his spare hand up and down my thigh to calm me. His knuckles catch on my rim but he pushes on, checking that I'm okay as he slides all the way in. His hand stops moving so I clench down and gasp. My mind is slipping and I'm getting fuzzier as we go. 

"Mm, all stretched around my wrist love. Look gorgeous," Louis compliments, twitching his fingers a little to get me used to it.   
"Lou- Lou oh my god-" I start crying without realising and I choke on air. "Purple!"

 

He leans forward and unclips my hands, letting me sit forward on my elbows. I squeeze my eyes closed tight and breathe deeply, the feeling of Louis' hand so obvious when my chest moves up and down. 

"Are you okay love?"  
"Yeah," I whimper, my eyes still creating new waves of tears. "It's- intense."  
"I know baby, I know. But everything's okay, we're going to make sure you're okay. Being so good." I pull a few pillows behind my back so I'm supported and lean back when I'm done. 

"Can we keep my hands out of the cuffs?" I ask breathlessly.   
"Of course baby. Lay back, relax and enjoy yourself." I smile and rest against the pillows with a sigh. 

 

"Can I carry on?"   
"Mhm." I moan when he pulls his hand out, fingers dragging against my walls and brushing over my prostate. 

"Lou," I breathe. "Fuzzy."  
"That's good darling, we like fuzzy don't we?" I smile lazily and buck my hips up, earning a smack on the thigh. 

 

I moan out an apology and let my mouth fall open in a silent moan.   
"Look so good all red and puffy around my wrist Haz." Louis' fingers trace my rim gently which is so sensitive after how long this has gone on for. I gasp and wriggle but can't get away. 

I feel my eyes tearing up again. There's an overload of sensations, I'm so so full, Louis' playing with my rim, he's sucking love bites into my taint and thighs. I sit there and cry as he carries on, pulling out to his knuckles, which makes me whine all high and breathy, before he punches back in, fingers now massaging over my prostate. 

"Lou can I come? Please can I come?"  
"Yes baby you can." I groan, clenching around him tightly as I explode over my chest. His hand doesn't leave my body. But it does keep moving and wriggling about. 

 

"Louis!" I pant. "Fuck - fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck - fuck."  
"Aren't you lucky I let you swear. Wonder how many times you'd be spanked for that?" I whine and whimper when my dick jumps, still hard. 

"Gonna let me fuck you? Make you come again off my cock."   
"Please?" He grins, slowly pulling out his hand. His fingers play with my rim. It feels strange, empty, wide.  
"Baby you're gaping!"  
"Good or bad?" He kisses my leg and assures me that it's good, I'm always good. 

 

He shoves four fingers in, waiting for me to clench down on them for a little before moving to three and then to two.   
"I'm going to let your legs out now. They'll be a bit achy but it'll be alright."

He unclips them from the spreader bar and brings them together, shushing my small groan of discomfort. I continue making small noises as he lowers them and rubs at my joints, kissing me softly. 

"Missed kissing your lips," he murmurs. "Gonna be a good boy, yes?"  
"Hm." 

 

I'm floaty and warm and so happy while he pushes into me with one long stroke. I open my mouth and he pushes his tongue between my lips, hand on my throat.   
"Gonna come for me baby?"

 

I nod, feeling his grip on my throat tighten. I bring a hand down to stroke myself quickly and I gasp, trying to heave breath into my lungs as Louis closes his hand around my neck. 

"Come, Harry." He pants, biting just above his hand. My mind blurs and my vision goes dark as I come on my chest. 

 

The sun is breaking through the curtains, making me wake up and squint my eyes.   
"Oh, you're awake love."Louis brushes some of my hair out of my eyes, kissing my forehead.   
"Wow." He laughs and nods his head.   
"Wow, indeed. You were incredible. Honestly I was amazed. 'M so proud of you." 

I feel myself go pink so I bury my head in the pillow and smile at him.   
"Thank you. That was amazing. Can't wait to tell Zayn."  
"Since when do you tell him about what we do?"  
"We've spoken about it. I asked him about fisting the a while ago so y'know. Thought I'd give him feedback," I shrug.   
"So you don't mind if I talk to Liam about it?"  
"No not at all."

 

Louis gives me two full days to recover, hauling me out of bed after Liam rings to ask if we wanted to go on a double date. So I dress myself in tight black jeans and a black button up, happy to stick to Louis' side all night. He kisses my temple with a smile and rests his head on my shoulder with his arms around my waist as we wait for Liam to pick us up. 

 

While we're sat having dinner with Liam and Zayn, Louis clears his throat and smiles.  
"So Harry and I tried fisting and I was wondering if you two would watch the video?"  
"What? I never said they could watch the video of it. I said you can talk to Liam about it!"  
"I want someone to watch our video!" He whines. 

"You guys filmed yourselves?" Liam scoffs. "Why wouldn't we want to watch that?"  
"Yeah- that'd be hot. You guys could make a lot of money if you sold it," Zayn grins. 

"Please?" Louis pouts. "I'll be nice to you!" I laugh.   
"You'll be nice to me anyway or I won't have sex with you." Liam starts laughing at the look on Louis' face.   
"You aren't allowed to touch yourself though, so it's a lose-lose."  
"I'm sure I'll survive." 

 

And then a few minutes later I huff and run a hand over my face.   
"Fine. They can watch."  
"We can watch," Louis corrects. "I think we should all have a movie night?" I groan. 

Liam and Louis send us two out while they 'pay the bill' and I listen in to our conversation.   
"Can I do kinky stuff with Zayn while we're over?"  
"That's why I want you guys to come over to be honest. Want to watch Harry and Zayn together, see what it's like- y'know? It's cool if you don't want to."  
"No it sounds fun," Liam assures. "I will take him home- get him ready. I want them both to be doing the exact same thing so I'll text you the details, yeah?"  
"Can't wait," Louis agrees. 

 

I look at Zayn, mouth open wide. He grins and kisses my cheek before our boyfriends come out of the booth.   
"Ready?" Louis smiles, offering me his hand. 

As I'll ever be.


	21. Chapter 21

Liam brings Zayn over naked with a pair of nipple clamps and a butt plug in. There are bells on each of them making me confused. His dick is hard and against his belly. Zayn gives me a small smile when he sees me which I gladly return. 

"I'm going to get Harry ready, it's all set up you can start it when we get down," Louis tells them. They nod and go into the living room. "You're going to do the same things as Zayn, love, you think you can do that?"

"I can try," I smile. He pulls me down to attach his lips to mine. I let him lick into my mouth as he undresses me. 

Once I'm naked he attaches the nipple clamps that make me gasp and they jingle when I move due to the bells hanging off the end. He preps me quickly and pushes a medium sized plug into me. That makes noise too. I whine and rest my head on his chest. 

"You will use your words as you usually would okay, love?" I nod my head and kiss his shoulder. He brings two bits of rope down with him and hands one to Liam before standing me in the middle of the room. Liam pushes Zayn to stand next to me and we look at each other, excitement and nervousness clear in our eyes. 

Our doms tie our arms behind our backs and help us kneel down. 

"You will watch the video and every noise you make will be a spank for the other person. If you jingle that counts as noise. Do you understand?" Liam asks, tone strict and leaving no room for argument. I look to Louis and he smiles encouragingly. 

"Yes, I understand, Liam," Zayn says loud and clear.   
"I understand…"  
"Just Liam, Haz," he smiles softly. It's like he's reminding me that it's only him and that he won't hurt me as well as telling me what I should call him. 

"Okay. I understand Liam."  
"Good. You will do as we say and should you need to word out you can do so without fear of punishment. Louis- play it."

 

I look at Louis and he sits on the couch next to me, kissing my temple.   
"What's your colour?"  
"Green."  
"Why do I think you're not?" He asks sadly.   
"A-are you disappointed in me?"  
"No, love, of course not. I never am. Now what's your colour?" He repeats.   
"Y'know that ugly colour that happens when you mix dark green and yellow?"I ask with a small smile. He laughs a little and brushes his hand over my shoulder. I curl my toes to try and not move. 

"So you're a little yellow?"  
"Yeah," I breathe.   
"And what do you think I can do to fix that?"  
"I guess I'm just scared to make Zayn get lots of spanks and I'm scared you'll think I'm bad if I move more than Zayn."

"Do you want Zayn to move lots?" He teases making me giggle.   
"I want him to do what he can," I whisper.   
"And I'm sure that Zayn feels the same about you. And Zayn likes spanking, babe."  
"Okay. Just - can you tell me that I'm doing good?"  
"Of course, Haz. You know I will. Now, quiet, the films on," he smiles and allows me to kiss him properly before he moves back to the couch. 

 

I watch with flushed cheeks and wide eyes as the scene plays out on the television in front of me. Louis and Liam both have their hands in their pants, leisurely stroking themselves as they watch. I look to Liam and Zayn to see if they have any judgement on their faces but I find none, only seeing them being extremely turned on. I bite my lip and look down, closing my eyes when I fidget and the bells ring. 

 

"I'm sorry," I whisper, voice wet with tears and Louis puts his hand on my shoulder making me flinch again. "I am so sorry, Z," I sniffle, trying to hold back from crying because I'll make more noise then. 

"Haz, it's okay, you're doing great. I promise it'll be okay," Louis reassures. 

"Harry, it's fine, honestly," Zayn smiles, blowing me a kiss. I laugh and blow him one back. 

I blush when I hear what I was saying, begging for more fingers. My hole is clearly on display and God- I have to admit I like seeing it from anther perspective. I enjoy seeing what Louis can see. 

Zayn wriggles and when I look at him Liam has his hands brushing up and down Zayn's side. He giggles out a sorry as he continues to jingle. 

"Looks like you're not the only one that moves about, Haz," Liam grins. I smile to myself, thankful for my friends support.

Zayn moans and fidgets a little when TV Louis pushes his whole fist into my TV hole. I throw my head back and buck my hips into the air, needing friction but gaining nothing besides a spank for Zayn.   
"Lou, please can- can you touch me?"  
"Not yet. Patience love. Be good like Zayn."

I frown at that. Like Zayn. I want to be myself with Louis, not act like someone else. My mouth goes dry and I can't get the words out and I can't move. All I can feel is Louis shaking me and the hot salty tears running down my face. 

I can feel the rattling in my chest as I breathe and I close my eyes in defeat, accepting my fate of blacking out or throwing up. 

The darkness welcomes me with open arms and I fall into Louis' body. 

 

When I wake up my arms are free and I smell of sick, Louis is wrapped around me, sniffling against my head. I'm free of any sexual toy which kind of saddens me. I ruined the night for everyone. 

 

"Why're you crying Haz?" Louis asks into my hair.   
"I could say the same for you, Louis."  
"I was so worried about you Harry. I didn't know what had happened. Why didn't you colour out, hey?" He asks softly.   
"I felt like I couldn't speak. You- you told me to be good. Like Zayn."

He pauses for a minute before he squeezes me even tighter.   
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that, I can't believe it. I didn't mean for it to be said like that."  
"Then what did you mean, huh?" 

I push him away and sit on the edge of the bed. He makes a small, sad noise that makes me want to hold him close and promise that everything's okay but I can't because it's not. 

"I meant that you should be behaving. I thought that mentioning Zayn being good would make you want to be good too. I didn't realise how bad it sounded. I don't want to compare you two-"  
"Because Zayn would be better than me? You'd figure out how bad I was? How much you hate me?" I interrupt, sadness and venom slipping into my voice. 

"No, Harry. Because I know you get upset. I hate seeing you upset. Especially if I was the one who caused it. You're the best, Harry," he says confidently. "Always the best. I could never hate you, babe. I love you so much. I don't want anyone else."

"I need time to think," I sigh, pulling one of Louis' t shirts over my head which makes his lips quirk up.   
"You're going to Liam's?"  
"No. I don't want to in case I take out my feelings on Zayn. I'm going to speak to Ali." 

Louis nods and hands me my coat.   
"Stay warm and safe. Call me if anything happens."  
"I will," I mutter, shrugging my coat into my shoulders.   
"What time do you think you'll be back?"  
"I don't know. I might pop in to see Liam and Zayn later so you can go round there and we'll have a little reunion."

"Haz, I love you," he calls out to me but I just shake my head and close the door. He knows I love him but right now I don't feel loved so I don't want to say it back. 

On my way there and once I'm sat with Ali I'm itching to text Louis to tell him I love him but I have more important matters. So I turn my phone off and turn my full attention to answering Ali's questions. 

"Are you gonna tell me what's happened?"  
"Hasn't Louis?"  
"Louis, no. Liam and Zayn, yes. Louis was holed up with you remember?"  
"Well not really," I mutter. "I wasn't conscious." She nods her head and takes out her notebook. 

"Start from the beginning then, I need to hear your perspective."  
"Louis fisted me the other day and we filmed it and was fucking fantastic really. And then today we told Liam and Zayn about it and Louis offered for them to watch the video. At first I didn't want them to and then he said that we'd watch it with them, make a night out of it. Liam told Louis they'd plan everything and they did. Zayn and I had our hands tied behind our backs with nipple clamps on and plugs in. All the toys had bells on so if we moved they'd hear it. The rule was every time I moved Zayn would add another spank to his tally and vice versa. I was quite nervous in case I made a show of myself both in the video and in real life. I was the first to move which made me freak out a bit. And then I asked Louis to touch me but he told me to be- to be good like Zayn." She lets me sit silently as I cry and work up the courage to continue. 

"And that just wasn't okay. I'd been worried about him thinking I wasn't as good as Zayn in the first place and I told him that too. I'm not too sure what happened really it was like my brain just cut off and all I knew was that I was running out of air and then I blacked out. When I woke up this morning Louis was crying and we spoke about me not feeling good enough and thinking that Zayn was better than me. He let me leave and told me he loved me but I didn't say it back."

"Wow. So the main thing here is comparing you and not feeling. Good enough or inadequate?"  
"Yeah. Yeah that's it. And me and Louis have been talking about having kids but I'm really worried about how our age play would affect that and how our relationship would be compromised because of my anxiety."  
"Personally I'd wait until you'd figured those things out before you try for a baby."

"I agree with you. Can you tell Louis that and try to help us fix it?"  
"Of course I can. You can still do age play even if you have a baby but you'd just have to be careful how much. And even then, Louis' dad can take the baby. Things can be put in place to make sure that your relationship doesn't get in the way of parent hood and that you'll get help along the way with everything. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah," I smile. "That sounds good. Thank you."  
"Not a problem. What're you going to do now?"  
"Go to see Zayn and Liam. I want to go and talk to them about things, make sure I haven't scared them off. I told Louis we'd meet there so I'll talk to him too."

"Get him to call me if he needs to talk over anything with me."

I give her a quick hug before I leave and walk to Liam's. I avoid eye contact and dodge the hug Liam tries to give me when he opens the door. 

"Haz, I don't want you to be awkward about what happened last night. I don't. Zayn and I have talked and we are both okay with what happened and concerned about you. Go sit in the living room, I'll be in in a minute."

I sit on the couch and Zayn comes in with a big smile on his face. I frown and look at the floor.   
"Okay- you're not in a happy mood. What's up, mate?" Zayn asks.   
"Louis doesn't think I'm good enough for him." My voice cracks and I rest my head in my hands as the tears come in a new wave. He sits next to me and throws his arm over my shoulders. 

"Hey, hey. He knows you're absolutely amazing, love. He didn't mean it, what he said. You're so much better than me, yeah? You have to be good in two minds Haz. When you're little and when you're big. And you're so good all the time. It's impressive mate. I wish I could be as good as you."

I try to fight the smile off myself but I find myself giggling and leaning into him.   
"Really?" I ask hopefully. Zayn smiles down at me and nods.   
"Really. You're the best boy for your daddy and your uncle Z and Li and you're the best boy for your Lou. And that's all that matters."  
"Thank you." 

He just kisses my head and holds me close.   
"Louis is here by the way. I wanted to talk to you first but now, if it's okay he'll come in to talk to you."  
"Send him in."

Louis comes in a few minutes later with red eyes and a stuffy nose. He sits across from me and holds a hand out for me to take. I link our fingers together and smile softly at him.   
"I love you," I start. "I'm so sorry for not saying it before. I was just angry and sad. I want you to know that I love you. You know that right?"  
"Yes love. I do. But it hurt to have you not say it back."

"I know and I'm so sorry for that. I spoke to Ali."  
"Hm, what did you speak about?" He smiles.   
"We spoke about what the video was and what we did and why I freaked out. And what happened this morning. I told her about trying for a baby too."  
"Really? So what'd she say about everything?" He asks, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. 

"She said that I'm still worried about being unworthy or not good enough for you and that I'm scared you'll find someone better," I whisper, some part of my mind imagining Louis confirming that I am terrible and that he wants someone better than me. 

"And is that true?" He inquires carefully. I nod my head and wait for his reaction. "Love, you're the best. You're always so good for me, as my little boy or as my boyfriend that sometimes enjoys being tied up and is a little bit of a masochist. I love you. All of you. And you know what the best thing about you is?"   
"No."   
"That you're mine, all mine. I have the best boy ever and I'm so lucky," he grins. 

I smile shyly up at him.   
"You mean that?"  
"I'm not a liar Harry,"  
"I love you," I whisper inching not closer to him.   
"I love you more. Now come gimme a kiss," he smiles and pulls me closer. I giggle and press our heads together, just brushing my lips against his. 

"Will you come home with me?" He breathes.   
"We still need to talk it out with Zayn and Liam. But after that yes. I will."  
"Good."

His hand pulls me forward so my lips are against his properly and he smiles into the kiss, nudging my lips open with his tongue.   
"'M gonna make love to you when we get home."  
"Mm," I smile. "Can't wait." 

We fall onto the couch together in a pile of giggles and kisses and limbs before we shout the other two in. 

"Everything we did yesterday was okay, right?" Louis asks.   
"I enjoyed it," Zayn nods.   
"Me too," Liam agrees.   
"I did," Louis adds. They all turn to look at me.   
"I enjoyed what we did but I still am scared of being compared to others or being judged by you guys. You watched me get fisted last night," I laugh dryly. And then it becomes wet, tears clouding my vision. 

"Fuck you watched me get fisted last night," I choke out between sobs. Louis pulls me to stand up and lean into his arms. They all crowd around me and pull me close in a cuddle. 

"We all love you, Haz. You did amazing, so proud of you, love." They're all whispering gentle words one after the other as we walk over to the couch again. I whimper happily against them and sniffle against their shoulders. Louis is pressing kisses against my neck and sucking small marks between his whispers. 

I latch onto them for dear life and my embarrassed cries turn into happy tears. I feel loved and happy, warm and fuzzy. 

"I love you so much," I smile. 

 

Louis takes me home after we've been huddled together for a good while and lays me out on the bed, peeling my layers of clothing off one by one until I'm naked. He kisses down my body until he reaches his goal destination. With lube-coated fingers he stretches me slowly and gently, kissing me with so much love and care that I want to come on the spot. I hold off, wanting to come while he's inside me. He coats himself with lube and pushed into me, slowly, steadily as he kisses me with the same pace. We pant into each others mouths, swallow the other's moans and just feel good because of the other person. 

I gasp when Louis wraps a hand around me and pulls, 1, 2, 3 tugs before I'm coming over his hand and my tummy. He thrusts in and out a few times before groaning and coming inside of me. I whimper when he pulls out and drags me with him when he rolls to the side. 

"I'm sticky," I complain. But Louis just flashes me a quick grin before he dips his head down and licks at my come, effectively cleaning my tummy. He runs his hand over my tummy and peppers quick, fleeting kisses all over the skin. 

"Can't wait until your big and round with my babies."  
"Our babies," I hum. That catches his attention. His head snaps up to look at me and he surged forward to kiss me. 

"Our babies. My baby. You're my baby."  
"Sometimes I am, yeah."

 

"So what'd Ali say about age play and babas?" He asks quietly once he's spooning me, our legs are tangled together and he holds my hand, resting then on my tummy. 

"She said that I'd either not go as far into my headspace as I have before. So like, no nappies or your dad could take the baby. Or Liam and Zayn."  
"I wouldn't mind looking after two babies you know?"  
"You want twins?" I ask.   
"Not what I meant, silly," he laughs and kisses the back of my head. "I meant that I don't mind how far you go. You could literally act the same as our child and I'd still look after you both."

"Oh," I breathe. "We'll see, yeah? Everything'll be okay. We'll be okay," I assure.   
"Mm," he hums. "I love you, Haz."  
"I love you, Lou."

 

And God I am so happy to fall asleep after the days I've had. And everything is okay. We're together and we're happy and going to start a family. 

 

We're absolutely, totally, madly, in love. And it's the best.


	22. Chapter 22

A few weeks later, Louis wakes me up and drags me to the calendar on the wall. His finger stabs at the words written under the date. 'Harry can conceive!'

"It's baby making time!" He cheers and presses a happy, gentle kiss to my lips. "I can't wait to start a family with you, Haz."  
"You're going to be an amazing daddy," I grin.   
"Am I not anyway?" He teases, raising his eyebrow. I giggle and nod my head as I press more kisses to his face.   
"The best. Now come on, I want to have sex and then we can sort out our new house."

 

We have decided that we will not bring a baby up in this house, we'll do it off school grounds or build another more suitable for a family. 

"Horny little bugger aren't you?" Louis laughs but allows me to drag him up the stairs and into our bedroom. I nod my head and push him to lay down on the bed. 

 

We have quick, lazy morning sex but it's great and we're close to each other so we don't care. Louis makes us tea and we sip it while we eat toast, making small talk about anything. We stay naked, not bothering to get dressed again. 

"I can't wait until you're full and round and annoyed with my babies," Louis hums, rubbing my tummy.   
"I'll be fat," I huff.  
"You'll be gorgeous," Louis disagrees.   
"I'll have more stretch marks than I do now."   
"I love your stretch marks," Louis smiles. I roll my eyes and don't reply. 

"Don't roll your eyes at me, mister," he warns. "Might just take you over my lap." I gasp and tilt my head, giving his lips more access. His breath fans over my skin, raising goosebumps, before he presses gentle kisses, allows them to get rougher as he bites and sucks to make marks on my skin. 

"I love every. Single. One. Of the marks on you. Whether they're there because of me or because you grew tall or because you burnt your leg on the oven as a kid. I love all of you," Louis whispers.   
"I love you too," I smile, twisting to press my lips to Louis'. He smiles against my mouth as he slips his hands under my top. I gasp and arch my back when his fingers pinch and pull on my nipples. 

"Nnggh! Louis!"  
"Shh, baby. I want you to stand next to our clothes rail." I furrow my eyebrows in confusion but stumble to my feet to do what he's told me to. 

He leaves the room and a few minutes later comes back with a vibrator, a cock ring, a length of rope and a pants hanger.   
"Good boy," Louis smiles, patting my bum. "Hands behind your back, stand underneath the bar and stand up tall." 

I settle into the position he wants and look at him out of the corner of my eye.   
"Tiptoe," he instructs. I balance on the balls of my feet and hold onto the bar to help. "Behind your back, Haz." I wobble a little and force myself to move them back where they were. 

"Well done." He hooks the hanger over the bar and squeezes one of the clamps, ushering me forward with his other hand. I comply and move towards the open, silicone coated clamp. He pushes the ends of the clamp against my nipple and let's go. I gasp as it clamps down on my nipple, stretching it from the height the hanger is at. 

"Louis, fuck me!" I whimper.   
"I already have," he teases, pushing me forward again so he can attach the other one. 

"You alright baby?" He asks, moving his hands away from where he was stopping me from swaying too much.   
"Fuck!"  
"That's not an answer, love." I send him and glare, earning myself a sweet smile. 

He moves behind me and kisses over my shoulder blades before he focuses on tying my arms securely. After checking that it's not too tight, he reaches round my body and wraps his around my dick, slowly tugging to get me hard. I whimper as he slides the cock ring down to the base of my dick, nice and snug. 

"There we go, that should help you, yeah?" I nod my head, looking at him for help.   
"Lou, please."  
"I'm just getting the lube, love." He leaves my side and when he comes back the vibrator and two of his infer are coated in lube. 

 

He pushes a finger into my hole making me wail, the pull on my nipples getting stronger as my legs get weaker.   
"It's okay, what's your colour?" He asks gently as he works the finger in and out until I get used to it. 

"Gr-green."   
"Are you sure?"   
"Yes. Just hurts," I whine. Louis kisses my cheek and brushes my hair away from my face.   
"Is that good or bad?"  
"Both!" I moan. He laughs and adds his other finger, stretching me for a few seconds before he swaps them for the vibrator. 

"You're nipples are so pretty and stretched. I really want to get them pierced, y'know?"  
"Yeah, we- we can do that," I pant, trying to stay up high.   
"Just tell me when you think it's too much and you need it off. But for now I'm going to sit back and enjoy he show," Louis smirks and sits down, toying with the remote for the vibrator in his fingers. I groan and try to wriggle my way out of - everything. 

"Lou- Louis. Please?"   
"Please what, Harry? I don't know what you're asking me for." His voice is hard and demanding, sending shivers down my spine. He flicks the vibrator on, my legs buckling. I groan as my nipples stretch even further. 

"I don't know," I sob, finally letting the tears I've been holding back, out.   
"Hey, hey, colour?"  
"Yellow! C-can you take off the c-clamps?" 

He wraps one arm around me as he releases them, my legs completely going from the feeling off the blood pooling back into my nipples. They ache and so does my dick and my balls and I want to come.   
"Lou, please can I come? I've been a good boy right?"

Louis smiles gently and brings me over to the bed, laying me face down with a pillow under my hips. I mouth at the pillow, struggling to wriggle away from the vibrations.   
"You have been a good boy, but I rather enjoy seeing you like this," he teases. I groan and push down into the pillow beneath me. 

"Okay. You can come. But it has to be untouched."  
"Yeah, that's fine just please!" I whine. He chuckles and slides the vibrator out before removing the ring that was stopping me from coming. I make a small noise of disappointment as Louis pulls me up by the hips, moving me away from the pillow and my beloved friction. 

"Be patient my love." He leans down and licks gently over my hole, dipping his tongue in slightly before going crazy. He licks sloppily, flattening his tongue before nipping at my rim, pointing his tongue to get it as deep as he can. It doesn't take long he before I'm moaning and coming with a cry of his name. 

 

Louis unties my wrists, rubbing over the marks that show my struggle and kissing my burns. He rolls me over onto my back before he wipes me down and lays in bed with me. 

"Do you know how good you are? So beautiful and pretty and amazing. I love you," he whispers. I hum happily and smile as I burrow into his chest.   
"Love you," I mumble before falling asleep, relaxed and sated and hopefully on my way to having a baby.


	23. Chapter 23

We have sex everyday, at least once. I know I'm fertile and I'm sure Louis has great swimmers. So I don't expect to see the little negative on the pregnancy test on the toilet. I hand it to Louis with a frown and he bites his lip, gathers me in my arms and brings me to bed. 

 

We try more, sex at least twice a day from that day on, keeping my hips titled up afterwards and using a butt plug to keep Louis' come secure. 

 

It's been five weeks since I took the first test so I pee on the shitty little stick and stand with Louis, waiting for it to show us a little positive sign that will make us oh-so-happy. I walk in and walk straight back out when I'm greeted with another blue negative. Louis kisses me and holds me and tells me it's okay, that I'll be full of his babies in no time. But that doesn't stop me being disappointed. 

 

Ali asks us how things are going every now and then, telling us to be patient and relax when she finds out we've not conceived yet. Louis begins to make plans for the new house with his dad and pays visits to Liam everyday with me tagging along. Zayn is happy as anything, looks like he couldn't exist without Liam. I hope Louis looks at me that way. 

After twelve weeks of trying with no results we go to the doctors. They give me a check and take a sample of Louis' sperm. It's a few days after our appointment that we are called back into the doctors to talk about the results. 

 

Louis has a hand on my thigh as we wait for the doctor to begin speaking.   
"So," the doctor starts, smiling at us. "Harry has the ideal body for conceiving, is incredibly fertile, healthy and fit so he wouldn't struggle much. But Louis. Your sperm count is low, you can still get Harry pregnant it will just be harder to do so. There are other options like adopting or having a sperm donation."

Louis walks out after the doctor says the word low. 

"I better go see if he's okay. Thank you," I say, eyes wet and voice deep. "No problem."  
"We'll come back to discuss it further," I promise and leave, deciding to wait in the car. 

Turns out Louis is already there, head in his hands and eyes full of un-shed tears. He is tugging at his hair and taking shuddery breaths. When I get into the car he doesn't look up at me and ignores me all the way home, leaving me to go to Liam's for a bit. 

I sigh and sit down, my bum aching from near constant sex with Louis. I decide to cook dinner while I think. 

I've decided that it's a perfectly normal reaction, I just wish it wasn't. I don't want him to shut himself off, especially from me. I should be the one he talks to about these things but I'm not apparently. Louis loves me, I love Louis and we both know this so everything should be okay. We need everything to be okay. 

 

When I've plated dinner, Louis still isn't home so I eat on my own and then go up to shower. I leave his plate in the microwave and wash the dishes before I head to bed. Despite how tired I am I cannot fall asleep, mind still thinking about what's going to happen to us and whether we'll ever have the children we want. 

 

It's at one when I hear Louis come in and he smells of liquor and its gross. He stumbles as he undresses and tries to get into bed. 

"No. Get up," I demand, refusing to let him lay down. He looks at me sadly and tries to wrap his arms around me. "No, Louis. Go sleep somewhere else, you obviously weren't too keen on being with me before."

He turns away and I can hear him sniffling while I pick up his clothes from the floor.   
"I'm sorry. It's not my fault. I want to have children. I want you to have my babies," he wails. "But I'm broken. I'm the reason that you haven't already got one in your belly that makes you crave weird things and throw up once I get you them. I want to be the one to do that to you. But I'm sorry that I can't." 

 

I wipe my eyes as I stand next to him and drag him to the bathroom. He sits down in the bath while he cries and let's me move him about so I can wash him gently. I dry him off and pull him back into bed with me once he's drank a glass of water. 

He settles and plasters himself to my side, sniffling and whimpering.   
"It's not your fault," I whisper. The hand in my hair twitches but doesn't stop moving. "I love you. It's not your fault. You're not broken, you don't need to be fixed. Plenty of people are like you Louis and have lots of kids. You will be he one to get me pregnant, when that will be I don't know. But we'll be more prepared then, yeah? The house might be done and we can design our babies bedroom. And we can have a family together and live happily ever after." 

I kiss him and don't try to get a response out of him as he squeezes me tight and falls asleep on my chest. 

 

He wakes up late the next morning. By the time Louis has woken up I've made him breakfast and tea and gotten his clothes out for him. He smiles at me sadly when he comes down the stairs but kisses me gently as thanks for last night. We eat breakfast in silence, happy to just be close and calm. 

"We need to talk about it, Lou," I whisper in the afternoon. We haven't said much to each other all day despite being sat at each other's sides for the majority. He sighs and turns to me. 

"What is there to talk about?"  
"Our other options," I frown. "We need to keep our options open if we want to have children."  
"I want our child to be related to the both of us. No mans sperm is going inside you, we're not adopting. I want this child to be ours."  
"So do I, Lou, but what if that doesn't work?"  
"We'll make it work," he dismisses and sits with a pout on his lips. 

 

So we research different things that may help Louis. 

"Intracytoplasmic sperm injection," I suggest. Louis turns to me with wide eyes.   
"The fuck is that?"  
"They get one of your sperm and fertilise me with it using an injection. That way it'll work for sure."  
"I don't want our babies to be born because you had a needle. I want it to come from us making love," he complains. 

"This is better than the others though, yeah? It'll be 100 percent related to the both of us." Louis nods his head defeatedly and goes back to typing on his phone. 

"Gonadotrophin drugs level out a hormone that help produce sperm. I don't know if I'm lacking it but we can check with the doctor on Wednesday right?"  
"Yeah," I smile. It's Monday so we have two days. 

 

The doctor is happy to see Louis at the meeting and reads over the notes we've made.   
"I'm glad you're researching. I advise you to take these pills, Louis. And relax, if you're trying to hard you're just going to get frustrated. Keep your sex as it normally would be but get rid of anything that could stop he sperm from fertilising Harry."  
"Yeah, we can do that. Right, Lou?" I ask, earning a tight smile from him. The doctor smiles at the both of us before handing Louis the prescription. 

 

We go to the pharmacy and get the tablets Louis needs before heading home. 

"You okay, Lou?" I ask gently, rating my hand on his shoulder.   
"I feel good. I'm gonna set an alarm on my phone so I know when to take these everyday," he says popping a tablet out of the packaging and into his mouth. 

"Thank you for staying calm and coming today."  
"I want to come," he smiles, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. I giggle and take his hand. 

"So do I," I grin. He smirks, smacking my me once on the bum.   
"We both know that's up to me." I bite my lip and try to pull him up the stairs faster. 

 

He pushes into me when my face is pressed into the pillows and my arse is high in the air, not touching me until after he's came and pulled out. I come on his hand while he works the butt plug into me and he kisses me gently before licking his hand clean. 

"Ew," I laugh when he tries to kiss me.   
"You've ate your own come before now give me a kiss," he chuckles. I pull further away and he frowns. 

I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him down to meet me.   
"Kiss me you fool," I breathe. His eyes a bright, happy like the other day never happened. 

 

So we roll over for round two. And three. Liam walks into the house with Zayn after our first one and they wait until we're finished to announce their presence. 

"Hey, rabbits, fancy greeting your guests?" Liam shouts. I gasp and feel my cheeks go red while Louis laughs. 

"C'mon, let's go see what them two want."

 

"We were wondering if you'd like to go on a double date with us but I assume you'll both be tired," Liam smirks when we reach the bottom of the steps. "I was going to suggest a walk but it seem like Harry will have difficulty," he teases. 

Louis kisses my forehead when I frown and puts his hand on my arse.   
"Fucked you good," he hums into my ear. "Pumped you full of my babies. Going to keep doing it until you have one growing inside you." 

I kiss him, getting lost in the moment until Zayn clears his throat.   
"Seriously though, how many times did you guys have sex?" He asks.   
"Three," I smile, looking proudly up at Louis.   
"Woah. That's a lot." Liam laughs at his boyfriend. 

"So where are we going for this date night of ours?"  
"I was genuinely going to suggest a walk," Liam says seriously. "But we can do something different. You guys choose."

 

So we go to a chocolate ship full of sweets and treats we could try and buy. Louis buys everything I said I enjoyed and Liam does the same for Zayn before we go back home and eat them while watching Grown Ups. It was fun and Louis and I feed each other, biting or kissing the other's fingers to make them giggle. 

I really like seeing Louis happy. Especially since the other night. I make it my mission to do something to make him smile at least once a day. 

 

It's two and a half weeks later, when Louis is found at his dad's to finish he planning so the builders can start making our new house, that I look at Louis' pill bottle. 

 

'Effects should begin after taking one everyday for two weeks.'

We haven't had sex for a few days because of how busy Louis is planning the new house so I decide that tonight we will do the do. I dress myself in tight, silk panties, not patterned just plain but they are cut so they make my butt look bigger. I look great. I pull on one of Louis' big t shirts that go to my thighs so that he won't see until we're in bed. 

 

I make us dinner and he kisses me soundly when he arrives home.   
"Smells delicious baby," he compliments.   
"Thank you. You've had a good day, I take it?"  
"Very. But I prefer it here, with your beautiful self." I blush and looks at the floor. Louis laughs and allows me to take his jacket and hang it up. 

"Look at you being all domestic," he grins.   
"Good thing?" I ask hopefully as I dish out dinner.   
"When you're involved it's always a good thing." 

Someone's had a very very good day. 

I kiss him before handing him his plate. He digs in and compliments my cooking as we eat. 

"Hey Lou?" I shout from the bedroom. I have taken his top off and palmed myself until I'm hard, a plug on the bedside table. 

"Yes love?"  
"Can you come here for a sec?"  
"Yeah- sure…" his voice gets quieter and his words trail off as he arrives at the door of our room. 

"Want you to make love to me, over and over again until we can't move anymore," I whisper when he's close enough. And that's all it takes. 

 

He pounces on me and soon enough were passed round three and still going, thankful for our libido. 

 

Once we're panting and sweaty and sticky and gross, laying together in a tangle of limbs and sheets he speaks. 

"You were great, babe. Absolutely amazing."  
"I don't think I'll ever get used to you," I smile.   
"Good thing or bad thing?"  
"Good. Definitely good," I hum, pressing myself further into his neck. 

 

While Louis is running my designs for the new playroom past the builders a few days later, I pee on another one of them stupid fucking sticks, leaving it on the bed so Louis can look with me. 

 

I nap on the couch until Louis gets home and dream of the pink little plus sign making an appearance.


	24. Chapter 24

When Louis comes home I lead him to the bedroom and make him look at the test. I close my eyes, heart set on hearing Louis cheer as he swoops me up into a hug and kisses me, announcing that I was pregnant. 

But all Louis does is sigh and throw the test in the bin. He pulls me to his chest and kisses my head. 

"Soon. It'll happen soon," he promises. I nod my head and pull away to wipe my eyes. "Hey, now," he coos. "None of that. It's okay, it's all going to be okay."

 

"Yeah. It'll be okay," I repeat, kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry I can't help with anything. I feel useless."  
"You're not useless, baby. You're the love of my life," he whispers. "I could not live without you, Harry. And once you're pregnant you'll be doing nothing but caring for our baby. That be your only priority."

"Okay?" He asks when I don't respond. I nod and pucker my lips, hoping for a kiss that of course, Louis gives to me. 

 

"Do you think we should be doing anything differently?" Louis asks the next day. "Should I be drinking some mad, super sperm drink?"  
"Super sperm drink?" I laugh, rolling my eyes fondly at my boyfriend.   
"Yeah. Something to boost the little fuckers, make them swim faster."  
"I'll look into it for you." 

 

So while Louis looks over my shoulder I google 'drinks or foods to boost sperm count'.   
"Looks like I'm going to be eating more dark chocolate, bananas and asparagus," he smiles.   
"Not too bad. At least it wasn't like something you absolutely despise."  
"I'd still eat it if it would help you get pregnant," he says quietly. 

"I love you," I whisper as I set my phone down.   
"I love you too, baby, you get some sleep and we can continue to baby-make tomorrow." 

I laugh and smile to myself and with that promise I couldn't be happier. 

 

As Louis promised, our day is filled with love and kisses and sex. Lots and lots of sex. Louis laughs when I tell him that we're not having second tomorrow because I need to clean the house. It smells like sweat, come and pure boy. Not nice. 

So after my arse has recovered I clean the house from top to bottom, more than happy to let Louis have his way with me at the end of the night. He whispers sweet words in my ear and thrusts into me until we both come, a plug nestled between my cheeks afterwards. 

 

Louis' hands have been resting on my tummy while he holds me now, pressing kisses to it before he sleeps.   
"I love you," I whisper.   
"I love you too, my darling. I'm working on the house tomorrow Haz and then we're stopping for my birthday and Christmas."  
"Hmm. Can't wait."

 

So the 23rd arrives. I piss on three sticks and stare at my phone until five minutes have passed. The first two I look at have a blue negative sign that I've sadly been getting used to. 

But the third one? It's a pink positive sign. I almost faint as I clutch my belly. I'm having a baby. I'm pregnant. With Louis' child. 

 

This is the best birthday present ever. I close the stick and set to actually making the present. 

 

I go to the shop and buy a white baby grow with a little hat that matches. I find a pretty yellow and white dotty box and get a load of coloured paper to shred. When I get home I quickly shred all of the different coloured paper, jumbling the pieces together and placing half of them inside true box. I wrap the test in the baby grow and set it on top of the paper, hiding it with the rest of the paper shredding. I hide the box before starting dinner. 

 

Louis kisses me softly and my heart skips when his hands land on my belly while we're in bed.   
"I love you, baby."  
"I love you too, Lou," I smile, incredibly excited. 

 

In the morning I take him out for breakfast and we go shopping for his present, getting him new clothes and toys he wanted to try out. When he gets home I pull him to the bedroom where I've already set up the camera so he can't see. He sits on the end of the bed. 

"This is your last present for today. But it's the best. Go ahead," I smile, passing him the box. 

 

He opens it and looks confused as he digs around. I can tell when it clicks. His mouth drops open and he is staring at the tiny clothing in his hands. He coughs and looks up at me. 

"Y-you're really p-pregnant?" He chokes out.   
"Pregnant. With your babies," I grin. He pulls me in for a slow, gentle kiss, his cheeks wet and hot as he cries. 

"Happy tears right?" I smile.   
"Happiest tears ever." He drops to his knees and peppers kisses all over my belly which is not showing any signs of holding a baby but soon. Soon I should be huge and obvious and full. 

 

Louis makes love to me that night and when we fall asleep he says goodnight to both of his babies with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes.


	25. Chapter 25

In the morning Louis kisses me merry Christmas but doesn't let me get out of bed, refusing me to be on my feet. He kisses my tummy and looks up at me through his lashes.   
"I love you, babe."  
"I love you," I smile, running a hand through his hair. He kisses my belly again and moves up to kiss me. 

"I can't wait until you're showing. So everyone knows you're pregnant."  
"I don't want to tell anyone for a little while, wait until everything a certain y'know?"  
"What do you mean certain?" He frowns.   
"It's a higher risk of miscarriage in the first like four weeks," I say quietly. 

"Okay," he sighs. "I want to do a party to announce it."  
"That'll be fun," I smile. "We need to make a doctors appointment soon."  
"I'll do it in a few days. Now, who wants to open presents?"  
"Me!" I cheer. Louis laughs and gets up to get our presents. 

 

He tells me that the baby is still the best gift ever. I get a set of keys and I'm confused before Louis slips the blue prints of our new house into my hands. 

"It's ready. Complete. The only thing that isn't is the nursery but we can finish that easily. I want to move in before new year if that's okay," he smiles.   
"It's beyond okay. Thank you," I grin, wrapping my arms around his neck. He rests a hand on my back and one on my stomach. We sway back and forth, keeping each other warm. 

 

"I love you."  
"I love you," Louis responds, smiling and kissing me softly. "So so much."  
"Are we going around to your dads for dinner?"  
"Yeah, he's invited us and Liam and Zayn around. We should be exchanging presents after dinner." 

The decorations are hung and its frosty outside and our house smells like Christmas cookies. Because we're baking Christmas cookies. Louis laughs at me when I smack his hand away from the batter and send him a find glare. 

He reminds me all day that he loves me, always getting it told back to him. No one mentions the hand Louis has on my belly as we cuddle on Mark's couch. They're used to Louis touching my stomach now so they don't suspect anything. 

"Merry Christmas!" Mark announces as we sit around the table to eat. 

We open all of the presents, most of ours being house warming gifts and such. It's warm and cosy with the fire on and we're all happy and a family. Everything's great. 

 

That night Louis holds me close as we watch the grinch together.   
"Happy Christmas, baby." 

"Babies," he corrects himself. I look up at him and he kisses my forehead, eyes closing. 

"Happy Christmas, Lou."  
"You're tired," he observes. I smile and push my face into his collarbone. 

"Sleep?" I mumble, making an annoyed noise when Louis' laughing jostles me.   
"Sorry love. Yes you can sleep." He drapes a blanket over us and lays us down further so we're more comfortable. 

"Love you."  
"Love you."

 

The next morning I wake up on Louis' chest, drool collecting under his nipple. I wipe it off with a grimace and stretch, relaxing back onto his body. He makes a small noise and moves his arm to rest over my shoulders. 

"Morning babe," I smile.   
"Morning, Haz." He runs a hand through my hair and kisses my head before I get up to go the bathroom. 

 

I go back into the living room to find that he's already made a bowl of coco pops for the both of us. My favourite. He smiles at me and pats the chair next to him. 

"You haven't had any symptoms yet," he mentions.   
"Maybe I'll have an easy, quiet pregnancy. Or they just haven't arrived yet."  
"I hope this is easy on you," he hums, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.   
"Me too. But I'll have you here so it'll be alright."

Over the next few days we pack our belongings that we wish to bring to the other house. Louis doesn't let me lift anything big which while rather annoying, it reminds me of the reason why and I'm not so annoyed anymore. Liam and Zayn help us move our things into the new house, looking around in awe. 

 

The first thing your see is the living room. It has white walls and black, hardwood flooring, littered with white furniture and teal accents- rugs, cushions, curtains. The kitchen is big, black marble countertops and white baby proofed cupboards so that the edges aren't sharp and they don't slam. The dining room is attached to the kitchen, the same black floors with a white table and black chairs. The placemats are teal, too, a vase in the middle of the table with the flowers that Ali bought us. Our bedroom is huge. The bed is big, cushy and dressed in teal bed sheets. The bedside cabinets are white and the rug on the black floor matches the accent of everything else. We have a bathroom that is connected to our room with the same colour scheme as the rest of the house. Louis brings me through to the play room, the walls black along the bottom and teal on the top. The carpet is fluffy and black, something to stop me from hurting my knees and soften my landings. There's a door in the corner of the too. That leads to my 'little' room. It is like a toddlers dream, a toy trunk ready to be filled and a bed with high walls on each side to keep me feeling safe. There's a changing table that stores nappies and supplies in the drawers underneath. The walls are teal, my favourite colour, but the breast wall has a pretty black pattern over it. My dresser is black, as is my bed and my carpet. I smile up at Louis gratefully. 

"This is amazing," I breathe. He shows me the guest bedrooms and the nursery. So far it's plain but it has so much potential. 

 

We spend the day sorting through our things and arranging them neatly so that our house is clean and tidy. Liam and Zayn stay for dinner, having a small drink that both Zayn and I reject. That night, when Liam and Zayn have gone home and everything is finished, Louis and I christen the bed. And the couch. And the play room. And the wall and the floor. 

We don't sleep until well into the morning but when we do its calm, quiet and perfect.


	26. Chapter 26

The morning sickness continues over the next few weeks, making bags appear under my eyes and my throat rough and sore. Louis makes me tea everyday and apologises when the food he makes makes me be sick again. 

"It's not your fault. It comes with the pregnancy right?" I smile tightly. He nods his head and kisses my cheek, leaving the room so I can clean up. 

 

I sit on the bed with him and he smiles before shuffling down my body. His lips kiss my tummy, around my belly button so light that they tickle. He grins up at me.  
"Your belly is starting to stick out more," he murmurs.  
"Really?" I gasp. 

He hums and helps me off the bed to stand in front of the mirror. He pulls me to stand in front of him, our sides facing the mirror as I look for the little bump that Louis had noticed. 

And there it is. My belly, sticking well over my jeans and rounder than usual. 

"My babies," he coos. I pout when Louis leaves my side but he comes back with his phone. 

This is something else we've been doing, a picture a day to put into a short video after I've had the baby. I hold my hands out of he way so he can get a proper view and when he puts his phone down I jump into his arms. 

 

He catches me though, stays balanced and on his feet.  
"And to what do I owe this pleasure?" He grins. I laugh and lean down and lick into his mouth until he opens his lips, moaning into the kiss. He lets the kiss stay neutral, neither of us taking charge or even attempt to as we just kiss, happy to be close to each other. 

"I love you," he whispers. I lean my head on his, knocking my nose against his own.  
"I love you too," I smile, kissing him again slowly. 

 

 

When we go back to the doctors I'm officially ten weeks pregnant. Once we've gotten our next scan photo I'm quickly swiping through my phone to look at what the app has to say. 

Since my last appointment the baby has:  
Developed facial features and began to grow arms and legs, fingers start to grow, it's supposed to be moving around but I'm not meant to feel anything sadly. Eyes have developed but they can't see and the embryo is becoming a fetus, growing vital organs. 

 

Louis beams at me and listens patiently everyday as I rattle on for ages. Apparently I'm going to be the proudest mummy ever. 

Louis buys me everything I want from baby clothes to pregnancy books, eager to please. I always sit with him, less than happy when he's not by my side which I know is silly but I love him so much. 

I love this baby so much.


	27. Chapter 27

"Love, you need to stop stressing out," Louis sighs.   
"I'm fine!" I insist, continuing to make my meal and exercise plan. I need to make one to make sure the baby and I both stay as healthy as can be. My belly is getting a little bigger now too. 

"I don't think you are. And stress is not good for the baby. It's not good for you either." I let him wrap his arms around my waist and rest my head on his shoulder. 

"So what do you suggest?"  
"I think you should be a good boy for daddy," he whispers, lips brushing against the shell of my ear. I gasp and close my eyes. "Do you want that too?"  
"Yes please daddy," I whimper. He kisses my cheek and walks with me into the living room, sits me on the couch. 

 

"Be a good boy and stay there while daddy gets some stuff for you. Do you want to watch a film?"  
"Can we watch Aladdin, daddy?"   
"Of course we can baby. I'll put it on while we're eating but while I'm cooking you can watch telly." 

 

Daddy comes back in the room with a bottle, a bowl of pasta and Bearty. I sit my teddy on my knee and smile up at daddy, opening my mouth for him to feed me my dinner. 

"Good boy eating all of it," he praised when I've finished the bowl. "Let's get you your bottle then," he smiles. 

I sit how I usually do, against the arm of the couch with daddy's arm around me as I lay in his knee. He presses the test teat of the bottle to my lips and kisses my head when I open my mouth and start sucking straight away to get the warm milk. 

"Slow down," he chuckles. "You'll get a tummy ache if you drink it too quick, love." I nod my head and slow down, taking smaller gulps and I'm rewarded with a kiss. 

"It's nearly your bedtime. Do you want your nappies on?" He asks gently. "Baby, it's okay if you do," he reassured.   
"Ye-yes please daddy." 

 

Daddy lays me down on my back in my room. He pulls my pants off and lifts my legs up by my ankles, sliding a nappy under my bum. I squirm as he sprinkles powder over me and tapes the nappy over my tummy. He kisses my chest and smiles.   
"All done, baby." 

He laughs at me when I stand up and make a small confused noise. My nappy is thick and soft but separates my legs wider than usual. 

"This is big!" I complain. Daddy chuckles and nods his head.   
"Extra protection for when you mess your nappy."  
"Mess? You say wee daddy!" I giggle, my daddy's silly.   
"I didn't mean wee, baby boy," he smiles and pulls me to sit in his lap. "I meant number two. Poo. Poopy. Mess. Whatever you want to call it." I blush and hide my face in his neck. 

"I don't want to do a number two in my nappy. That's icky!" I exclaim.   
"But daddy will clean you up just like he does when you go for a wee wee. It's my job to look after you right?"

I hum quietly and nod my head in reply. "Will you let me do my job then?" He asks gently.   
"Yes daddy. But only if I need to go number 2."  
"Only if you need to. Daddy won't make you," he smiles. "My good boy," he hums. I smile proudly and kiss his cheek, wrapping my arms around his neck. 

"Love you daddy. Can I have my dummy please?"   
"I love you too and of course you can, love." I gratefully accept it when he pushes my dummy against my lips, sucking on it quietly. 

"'M tired," I whine, rubbing at my eyes. My daddy smiles at me and stands, picking me up out of bed before walking to my room. Bearty, my blanket, my night light and a toy are already set up next to/ on my bed. I snuggle under the covers with Bearty, burying my face in his fur as I suck on my dummy contently. Daddy kisses me softly and says goodnight before tucking me in and turning on my nightlight. 

He turns the normal light off as he leaves the room and closes the door, leaving me to sleep. I smile around my dummy, allowing my breathing to slow and settle as I fall asleep. 

 

I wake up in the morning with a wet nappy and whine, feeling the rash that's starting to form. I whimper, stuck in my crib because the bars are too high. 

"Daddy's here, love, it's okay," daddy soothes as he walks in the room. "Is your nappy wet baby?"  
"Yes daddy," I sniffle.   
"C'mon then. We'll get you changed and then go to Liam and Zayn's for breakfast. How does that sound?"  
"Good daddy," I smile, grabbing at him, needy. He grins and lifts me into his arms, resting me on his hip before he lays me on the changing table. 

 

Daddy tickles my belly to distract me from the sting of the wipes over my sensitive skin. He applies some rash cream and powders me before strapping another nappy around my hips.   
"All better?" He grins. I nod with a smile on my face and reach out for him. "Wait a minute, mister. Going to get you dressed now." 

 

He dresses me in one of my baby grows that has 'Daddy's boy!' on the front.   
"This should keep you cosy," he smiles. I nod and reach out for him again, smiling happily when he picks me back up. "I expect you to have done a number two by the end of the day, Harry, okay? And if you haven't I have laxatives that you will have to make you go," he says sternly. 

"Yes daddy," I mumble, pressing my face into his neck. When he wraps his arms around me I sigh and wrap my legs round his waist tightly. He holds me securely as he walks over the road, walking straight into uncle Liam and uncle Zayn's house.

 

"Morning!" Daddy shouts making me whine and cover my ears. "Sorry love," he whispers and kisses my ears softly before putting me in my chair. It's not quite a high chair but it keeps me strapped in and has a tray to hold my food. 

Daddy goes to cook with Zayn and Uncle Liam comes in with a big smile. 

"Are you okay Haz?"  
"Good," I mumble.   
"Gonna have to take this out for breakfast," he teases as he tugs on my dummy, successfully pulling it out of my mouth. I stare mournfully at it and pull Bearty to my chest as my bottom lip wobbles. Liam shushes me before I even make a noise and I let out a wail, rubbing my face into my bear's head. 

 

Daddy runs into the room and pulls me up to lay against his chest.   
"What's wrong lovey? Daddy can't help if he doesn't know what's wrong," he says gently, bouncing me on his leg.   
"Li took dummy!"  
"Liam, pass us it?" Daddy asks uncle Li, pushing it into my mouth when he gets it. I suck on it furiously, rubbing my face against daddy's soft shirt. Daddy rubs his hand over my back and through my hair as he whispers comforting words in my ear. 

 

"Is my baby fussy today?" He smiles and kisses my head.   
"Daddy," I huff.   
"You don't want to speak baby?" I shake my head and he kisses my nose. "That's okay love."

When Zayn comes in with our food daddy puts me back in my chair and takes my dummy again, replacing it with food.   
"Such a good boy for daddy," he grins making me smile and giggle. "I missed that beautiful smile. Open wide…"

 

Once I've finished all my food daddy lets me sit and colour while he eats his breakfast too. I colour a pretty elephant in and write my name and daddy's with a love heart. 

"Daddy!" I exclaim. "Draw!" He smiles proudly and takes the picture off of me. 

"That's amazing Haz! We can go home and put it on the fridge?" I nod my head and lean against his chest, closing my eyes as I move between his legs. "How are you feeling baby?"  
"Tired," I mumble.   
"Should we go and have a nap and then baby?" He asked gently. 

"Sleep," I nod, holding onto his t shirt.   
"Let's go home then love. And maybe we can go out to the park later today?"   
"Fun!" I smile sleepily and press my head against daddy's mouth.   
"Kiss?" He laughs. I nod and he kisses my forehead and lifts me up. 

"Bye-bye!" I wave at Li and Zayn and snuggle into daddy's neck as he walks home, protecting me from the cold. 

 

"You need to go number two Harry," daddy sighs when we get home. "You think you can do one now?"  
"Don't wanna daddy," I whimper.   
"Does daddy need to put special tablets in your drink so that you go in your nappy?"   
"Daddy," I frown and watch as he makes me a warm bottle with cocoa powder in so it taste nicer and he slips in two tablets and let's them dissolve. 

 

I whine and wriggle when daddy moves me to his knee so I can have my bottle.   
"I'm going to give you an enema if you don't drink this Harry," he warns. I whimper and shake my head, tears gathering in my eyes. "It's okay baby."  
"Daddy mean!" I wail. 

He shushes me and pushes the bottle into my mouth, kissing my face over and over again, apologising for anything I think was nasty. When I eventually start sucking to get the milk he coos and rubs my belly with an encouraging smile. 

"That's it love, drink it all up and when you wake up from your nap daddy will change you and then we will go to the park. Does that sound okay?" My eyes flutter closed as I nod and continue to suckle on the teat of the bottle. 

 

When I wake up I'm in my cot and my tummy hurts lots. I start whimpering and whining straight away as I rub my belly and wait for daddy to come. It doesn't take long and he smiles sadly when he sees me. 

"Are they working then?" I frown in confusion. "Do you need to go number two?"   
"Yes daddy," I mumble feeling my cheeks burn hot.   
"That's okay. Just go and then change you."   
"Icky!" I whine.   
"It's normal. Go," daddy encourages softly and kisses my head and walks around with me, rubbing my belly. 

I start crying as the need to go starts getting stronger.   
"Let go of it baby. Will you be more comfortable like this?" Daddy asks and lays on the couch, pulling me up with him so we're chest to chest and my legs are draped over his. 

"Better?" He smiles.   
"Better I hum. Daddy still rubs my belly and assures me that I'm okay and safe with daddy. 

I start crying heavily just before I go and daddy watches me quietly as I cry and squeeze my tummy muscles tight to help me go. He wraps his arms tighter around me and brings me to lay on the changing table. 

 

"Haz, can you calm down please? Daddy's just going to do your nappy and get you clean again." 

He untapes the sides and slips my dummy into my mouth as I sob. The nappy is pulled away from me and a few cold wipes stroke over my bottom and my naughty bits before it's gone and a new nappy is in its place. Daddy sprinkles powder over me and once he's taped me up, quickly pulls me to his chest. 

 

"There we go," he soothes. "Daddy's good boy. Did really good, Haz. Now I think it's time for cuddles with daddy and Hazzy?" I sniffle and nod, rubbing my cheek against his shirt for comfort. 

He sorts out the nappy and throws it away before bringing me downstairs with blanky and Bearty. We lie down and daddy brings my blanket over me and allows me to snuggle with Bearty against his chest. 

"I love you baby," he smiles. I press a kiss to his chest whining when my dummy gets in the way. Daddy chuckles and takes my dummy out, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips before giving me it back. 

I smile to myself and burrow deeper into daddy's arms. I'm the best little boy with the best daddy ever.


	28. Chapter 28

*Louis' point of view*

 

I smile down at Harry, my little baby boy. He sniffles in his sleep and presses his face into my chest, not long having calmed down. I'm so proud of him. He did so well today. 

I brush his hair out of his face and kiss his head, marvelling at the beauty on top of me. Harry's eyelids flicker and he pouts when he looks up at me. 

"I'm still tired daddy," he whines. I chuckle and kiss him before moving him to sit up in my lap.   
"You'll be fine in a minute love. Plus if you sleep longer now you won't go to bed later," I smile. He nods his head weakly and leans on my shoulder. 

"Did you have a good nap baby?" I ask when he sits up a little straighter and rubs his eyes.   
"Yes daddy. Are we going to the park?" He asks hopefully.   
"Anything for my little one," I grin, his excitement contagious. He places a sloppy kiss to my cheek and jumps off my lap to go upstairs. 

 

"Are you wet, love?" I call after him as I follow him to his room.   
"Yes daddy," he mumbles, looking at the ground.   
"Okay baby." I lift him up and lay him down on his changing table and strip him of everything covering his beautiful body. He squirms as I wipe him down, mumbling that the wipes are too cold. 

"Nearly done love. Do you want your dummy?" I soothe, holding the object up in question. He makes sucky noises with his mouth and then opens wide, allowing me to place the dummy in between his lips. 

 

I dress him in jeans and pink t shirt that he smiles at and plays with the hem. 

 

I drive to the car, Harry happily twiddling his thumbs and sucking on his dummy to preoccupy him. 

 

"C'mon, Harry, time to get out." He clambers out and whines when I don't pick him up.   
"Daddy! Up!" He sniffles.   
"Aww baby, no need for tears," I shush as I bring him up to my hip. He rubs at his eyes harshly and rests his head on my shoulder. 

"Have I got a tired baby?" I smile, kissing his head, chuckling when he pouts and nods his head. I brush his hair back. "Do you want me to tie your hair back, love?" 

Harry looks up with big eyes and nods when I set him on the ground, in front of the bench and sit down. 

"It's okay babe. Daddy's going to tie all your beautiful hair back and then we're going to go play and have fun for a little. Then we'll go home and watch a Lilo and Stitch, invite uncle Li and Zaynie round maybe?"   
"Yes daddy. Can we have sweeties?"   
"If you're good you can have sweeties," I smile and kiss his head before turning him around and pulling his hair back into a messy bun. 

"Why is my baby boy so pretty?" I shout and dig my fingers into his sides. Harry squeals and wriggles, hiding in my chest as he giggles. 

"Daddy silly," he laughs.   
"I think my baby boy is the prettiest little thing I've ever laid eyes on," I grin, cherishing this sweet moment.

Harry calms down quickly and looks up at me happily.   
"We play now, daddy?" He asks, sticking his thumb in his mouth.   
"None of that," I scold and he pulls his thumb out of his mouth with a frown.   
"Haz have dummy?"  
"Not right now. But we're going to play so you won't need your dummy, okay?"   
"Yes daddy," he huffs but walks over to the play area anyway. 

 

He perks up then, excitedly climbing with me hovering behind him to assure his safety. He yells as he goes down the slide, clapping his hands excitedly with a big grin on his face. His smile is contagious so I smile just as wide as we play together, the giant puzzle pieces catching Harry's attention quickly. Though he enjoys the round about he gets dizzy and falls on his bum. I pick him up and brush him off as he whimpers and sniffles. 

"No tears now love, you're okay. Do you want daddy to push you on the swing, Haz?" I ask, taking his attention away from his slightly sore bottom. He nods his head quietly and takes hold of my hand to get there. 

"Home?" Harry asks after daringly jumping off the swing. I applaud him and watch his cheeks go pink when he lands safely and he seems so proud.   
"Let's go home then. Daddy's got a tired little boy on his hands hasn't he?" Harry giggles happily and tucks his face into my neck as he nods. 

 

I talk to Harry about our little adventure the whole way home just to keep him awake but he starts whimpering and fidgeting half way through a sentence. 

"What's wrong Harry?"  
"Wee wee, daddy."   
"Do you need a wee or have you done a wee?" I ask, smiling slightly because he doesn't usually tell me.   
"Done."   
"Oh okay. Daddy will get us home quickly and then he'll change you okay?" He hums his agreement and blows me a kiss in the mirror. 

I pretend to catch and pocket it which makes Harry smile a little longer. He fidgets the whole drive and I feel sorry for the small boys bum. 

 

When we get home my first priority is to change Harry. I carry him upstairs and lay him on the changing table.   
"Does my baby want a bath?"  
"Tired daddy," he whines.   
"My baby needs a bath," I chuckle, taking off his nappy. 

I leave to prepare the bath with plenty of toys and bubbles and warm water that's not too warm. When I come back Harry is sucking quickly on his dummy and kicking his legs. 

"Gonna get you all nice and clean and then we will watch Lilo and Stitch before we go to bed."  
"Sweeties?" He pouts. I blow a raspberry on his tummy to hear him laugh and see him smile again before shaking my head.   
"No sweeties before bedtime. Tomorrow you may have sweeties." 

I know what's coming before it happens. Harry's bottom lip starts wobbling, hands fisted at his sides, eyes shining more with every passing seconds until he explodes with loud sobs and heaving breaths. 

"Harry Edward Styles!" I admonish. "I am not impressed! Stop this silly tantrum right now." He starts screaming louder so I pick him up and set him in the corner to cry as I ring Liam. 

 

"What's wrong with Harry?" He asks when he hears his cries.   
"He's having a temper tantrum. My baby gets grumpy when he's tired," I laugh, smiling but rolling my eyes.   
"Are we still on for Lilo and Stitch?" Liam asks.   
"Yeah. Come round whenever. I'm just dealing with Harry."   
"Sounds good. See you in a bit, Lou." 

Ten minutes later when Harry has exhausted himself I pick him up and carry him to the bathroom.   
"I'm sorry daddy." I don't say anything. "I love you," he tries.   
"And I love you too baby, more than anything. Now let's get you all clean, yes?" He nods his head and allows me to wash him and his hair of the dirt and grime it's collected. 

 

Harry laughs his head off when I make a squeaking noise as I rub his belly, joking that he is squeaky clean. We dry him off, Harry proudly shouting that he put talc on his own tummy before I tape a new nappy around his hips and suit him up in his fluffy sheep onesie. 

He demands Bearty, his dummy, a bottle and his blanket when he's sat on the couch, all of which I'm more than happy to get him. 

 

Liam and Zayn come in while I'm feeding Harry, the film just starting because Harry was too impatient to wait. Harry holds onto Bearty and a fistful of my t shirt as he drinks, legs kicking and occasionally hitting Liam but he doesn't mind. Harry pouts when Liam calls him stinky because he burped. 

"I had bath!" Harry argues, bottom lip going again.   
"Uncle Li was just messing, Haz. You're not stinky, you smell lovely. Like a fresh rose," I soothe, kissing his nose before allowing him to cuddle against my chest. 

 

"Good boy for saying sorry for your tantrum and drinking all of your bottle. I think you'll get extra sweeties tomorrow," I whisper in his ear and he gasps, spitting out his dummy to smack a kiss to my lips, quickly putting the dummy back in.   
"Love you daddy."  
"Love you too baby."


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really shitty and short but I'm tired and wanted something to be posted. I'm going to upload again tomorrow, sorry for such a long wait between chapters. I've been working on other stories and I've had life troubles so yeah. Hope you dont hate me :). 
> 
> Also if anybody has a good website to see the growth of a baby can I please have the link? Thanks guys xx

Harry wakes up the next morning just as little as the day before so, excited with the promise of extra sweeties, he gets up early and makes a racket when he can't get out of his crib. I sigh and role out of bed. 

"Daddy's coming!" I call when he starts shouting. "Harry, what has gotten into you? You're being very naughty recently. Are you wet?"

He shakes his head and starts crying but goes silent which scares me. Harry's a loud crier but now he's not. I carry him into my bed and bring his bottle and cereal up for him. 

 

"Sweeties!" He demands. "I want my sweeties. Now."   
"Go to the corner."   
"But-"  
"I'll smack yours in a minute. Go into the corner." He leaves Bearty and his dummy on the pillows and stomps to the corner. 

"Harry come here." 

He happily trots over, thinking he's been let off.   
"Now walk back over there without the led feet." He sighs but walks quietly this time, looking back at me to make sure he did an okay job. I nod and he turns to face the wall. 

 

I eat my breakfast while he stands there trying not to fidget. I take my time to eat before I call him out of the corner. 

He lays on my lap for his bottle.   
"I'm sorry." 

Nothing.

"Daddy." 

I ignore him. I know this will get through to him. 

"Ple-" 

I push the bottle against his lips and he gives up, obligingly drinking the milk that has the same tablets in as yesterday. He burps and rests his head on my chest. 

"Thank you daddy." 

It's hard not to answer, I really want to comfort him but this is his punishment. He stares up at me with watery eyes before he curls up to go back asleep without eating his breakfast. He starts crying when I don't make a move to stop him so he gets up, takes his breakfast and eats it on the floor of his own room. 

 

When I go on about ten minutes later because Harry should've finished his cereal by now Harry is full on sobbing and heaving and rubbing his belly. 

"Hey, doll. What's happened?"   
"Don't feel well and daddy doesn't love me!" He nearly screams.   
"Daddy loves you more than anything in the whole world. Daddy loves you the most because you're the best."   
"Promise?" He cries.   
"Daddy promises baby. Daddy loves you more than words can say. He was just showing you what it's like to be ignored by someone you love. It's not nice is it?" I ask gently, brushing his sweaty hair out of his face. 

He is very hot so I take his onesie off and kiss his neck, bringing him to lie back in my bed. 

"Where do you feel ill?"  
"Tummy hurts daddy."  
"That's because you need to go number two," I explain, running my hands down his back. "Just let go and your tummy will feel better, love, I promise. Do you need daddy to rub your tummy?" 

He nods his head feebly so I rub his belly and his back, hoping to help and calm the crying boy in my arms. He has his dummy and his Ted now so he starts to relax more. I can feel his tummy muscles squeeze all tight before he starts crying even louder. 

"Baby needs a change, baby needs a change," I sing as I carry him to the changing table. He stops crying once I've cleaned him up. "Love you've got a terrible rash, why didn't you tell daddy you'd wet in the night?"   
"I don't know daddy."  
"Well in sure you've learnt not to do that then. C'mon. Extra sweeties for you. You've had a rough morning and you don't feel too great so well eat sweeties and drink hot chocolate and have cuddles and kisses." 

"Hazzy and Daddy day?" He asks hopefully.   
"Hazzy and Daddy day," I confirm. "If you're lucky daddy will even paint your nails!" Harry gasps and kisses me to interrupt my sentence. 

"Thank you daddy. I love you so much."   
"I love you to the moon and back, sweetheart." 

Harry only cries once more that day because he has to go number two but with his daddy there he's safe and okay. So he goes and decided he wants to go without the tablets. He wants to be as good as possible for his daddy. His daddy thinks he's always the best boy.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any medical inaccuracies. And for the slow updates. I'll update more once I've broken up for summer! Yay. Have fun with this chapter and the next chapter will be a long one about the pregnancy. Any tips on writing with pregnancy in the story would be massively appreciated. Thanks guys xx

*Harry's point of view*

 

My belly seems to get a lot bigger, sitting a lot further over the waistband of all my pants. I'm 12 weeks now, getting used to the thought of a baby in my belly though I find it odd that I'm getting so big. The baby could just be big and healthy which would be really good. Louis is planning the party and has bought me a few pregnancy yoga videos to help me keep up with any strains that will be put on my body. 

 

"How do you want to announce it?"  
"I want to wait a few weeks still. I don't know how to announce it though," I ponder. "Come back to me on that."  
"When's your next appointment?"  
"Two weeks. I'm bigger than I thought I would be."  
"All full of my baby," Louis grins leaning in to kiss me gently. "You going to see Zayn later?"  
"Yeah I think so. What're you doing?"  
"I'm helping my dad with something," he shrugs. "I think he wants to talk about what would happen should he leave."   
"Oh," I frown. "Tell me how it goes." 

 

At our next appointment our doctor smiles and goes through the usual procedures; weight, height, symptoms. I lie down and hold Louis' hand as I get the goo on my belly.

"Oh," the doctor frowns, moving the wand more and clicks away at the keyboard.   
"What?" I ask, panicked.   
"What's wrong?" Louis demands.   
"Uhm- Harry you're pregnant with triplets." 

"Three. Louis," I whimper and flail my hand to get a response as I look over at him.   
"Three of our babies are in your tummy, Haz," he grins, watery eyed and kisses me gently, his tears making my face wet. 

 

We get the scan pictures and thank the doctor before going home. I snuggle into Louis' side as we settle down for the day and suddenly burst into tears.   
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks worriedly.   
"We're having triplets!" I sniffle and latch onto him. He sighs in relief and wraps his arms around me.   
"Yeah, love, we are. Three babies in your tummy. You're going on bed rest as soon as possible. No lifting anything heavy and you don't stay on your feet long."

Over the next few days we go shopping for matching baby onesies and maternity clothes. 

I'm officially 13 weeks pregnant - done with the first trimester when we host the party. I wear leggings that stretch over my ever growing belly and one of Louis' baggy tops to hide it. Louis assures me that it's nothing to panic about and ushers me to sit in the living room with Zayn as the guests start to arrive. 

Niall and Gemma come, Louis' mum and sisters, Mark and James, Zayn and Liam of course. I wish I was still in touch and had a happy life with my parents to share this moment with them. But I don't so I'm grateful for the family and friends I have anyway. 

We spend time catching up with everyone, Louis making sure that the girls don't climb all over me but I play their games anyway just being very careful. About an hour after everyone has introduced themselves Louis pulls me to his side and kisses me. 

"You ready, lovey?" He grins, eyes sparkling.   
"I love you," I whisper as I nod.   
"I love you too, princess." I blush and kiss his shoulder before turning to everyone. Louis grabs a spoon and smacks it a few times on the countertop, effectively gaining everyone's attention. 

"Harry and I need to tell you something."  
"You're engaged?" Jay shouts excitedly.   
"When did he propose?" Lottie asks.   
"Shut it," Louis laughs, shaking his head. "We're not engaged yet." 

Yet. YET. 

"Harry is pregnant," he announces and it's like a weight off my shoulders despite the weight everywhere else.   
"With triplets," I add and watch as everyone seems even more shocked. 

After the momentary pause Zayn, Niall and Gemma rush over, itching to feel my belly.   
"Watch out. If Harry goes and sits down who ever wants to feel him can. Just be careful of him." 

"Thank you," I grin, kissing Louis slowly before being pulled away by Gemma and Zayn. 

 

"I'm going to be an auntie," Gemma realises with glassy eyes.   
"Yes. Auntie Gem," I smile. "Uncle Zayn and Niall," I offer. 

"Oh my god!" Niall whispers as he drops to his knees in front of my chair to stroke my belly. 

I raise my shirt so they can see my bump and run their hands over it as much as they please. Then Louis' family comes over and each of the girls ask questions about how big I'll get and if they can be the bests auntie. 

"You will all be amazing aunties. Now go talk to Lou about it, congratulate him while I talk to your mummy," I smile and the girls run back to find Louis. Jay sits on the couch next to me and smiles. 

"Are you happy?"  
"Very," I grin. She squeals and brings me in for a hug, resting her hands softly at the top of my belly. 

"Triplets!" She laughs. "I'm going to be a nanny. What about your mum?" She asks curiously.   
"My mum isn't accepting of gay relationships; BDSM relationships; male pregnancy. So since I haven't heard from her in three years I don't think she'll be a part of their lives," I frown. 

"They'll have all of us and Mark and James, your friends. You'll be fine. You must let me take you shopping one day."  
"I will," I chuckle but then look up to find Louis smiling fondly at me. "Okay Lou?"  
"Brilliant. Just wanted to see how my babies are doing," he mutters, kissing my forehead. "Time for the games!"  
"What games?"  
"You'll find out. Go," Jay urges. 

 

Louis brings me into the living room again, people clapping and cheering as I walk through.   
"Guesses on the genders go in the envelope on the table. Once you've done that we want to talk about something else." 

 

Everybody chips in with what they will buy for the babies. 

 

Liam and Zayn: 

Will buy Moses baskets. 

Jay:

Nappy cakes; nappy supplies for newborns. 

Mark and James:

The pram. 

Gemma and Niall:

Bouncers. 

 

Louis and I want to be the ones to decorate the room and buy their clothes but we're still very grateful that everyone has chipped in. 

 

"Right!" Louis shouts at about 8 O'clock. "The princess has to go to sleep now so everyone say goodnight." 

We say our good nights and good byes before I slip off upstairs to sleep. Louis joins me a few minutes later. 

"Tomorrow we're going to have a bath in the morning and we'll do some yoga, invite Zayn and Liam around and have some alone time. How does that sound?" He smiles.   
"Lovely. By alone time…" I giggle.   
"Naughty things?"  
"Yes please," I smile before yawning into his neck. "Guess I am tired. Thank you for today and for looking after me. I love you so much. I love our babies so much." 

"I love you and our babies a ridiculous amount. Now get some sleep, love and we'll take it easy tomorrow," he promises. 

"Okay, Lou. Night love you," I mumble again before falling straight to sleep, worn out from an afternoon of belly rubs and excitement.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really short, I know, but my phones broken so it's difficult for me to write. Sorry.

After breakfast Louis sits behind me and washes me in a warm bath with sweet kisses and 'I love you's. Then he plays the yoga video, repeating that he feels ridiculous but he does it with me anyway. 

We practice breathing and bouncing on the big rubber balls for a little while, stretching to stop my hips and back cramping. Louis and I end up lying together in a mess of limbs on the couch.   
"You're going to get so big that I won't be able to hold you like this," he sighs.   
"We'll just have to spoon the whole time," I shrug. "You're going to be an amazing dad, Lou."  
"You'll be an amazing mummy," he smiles. 

"Are you going to breast feed or bottle feed?" Zayn asks when he and Liam are sat in our living room.   
"Breast feed," I say. "It'll be difficult- especially with triplets- but it'll be better for the babies." I smile, rubbing my hand over my belly.   
"You'll be great parents," Liam compliments as Louis sits next to me, kissing me on the cheek.   
"I hope so." 

 

"How are you going to keep up with BDSM if you've got kids?" Liam wonders while we're eating lunch.   
"We don't do much of it anyway really. If we want to scene we'll have to get someone to look after them and any punishments will have to be when they're asleep. We'll figure it out. Won't we love?" Louis smiles fondly, linking his fingers with mine.   
"Yeah. I can't wait until they're here, they'll be so cute!" I grin.

"What genders do you want?"   
"I want one boy and one girl and the other one can be whatever it wants," Louis shrugs.   
"All of them can be whatever gender they want Lou," I say rolling my eyes. "Obviously if they decide they want to identify as another gender they can," Louis reasons. "But 'biologically' I want at least one daughter and one son." 

I sigh, leaning my head on his shoulder.   
"I just want them to be happy and healthy."  
"Me too, love." 

 

Liam and Zayn leave at around 4 in the afternoon and when they do Louis is all over me.   
"'M gonna tease you until you cry," he whispers in my ear, hands sliding up the back of my top.   
"Lou," I whine, pulling him up by his hair to press my lips to his. He chuckles- I can feel it vibrate in his chest- but he nods and kisses me back slowly. 

"No need to rush, darling. Be patient," he soothes, running his hands down my sides and over my belly. "Will you go and put something pretty on? Think I fancy you in some black panties right now," he smiles.   
"Yeah. Yeah- okay," I breathe, stealing one last kiss before walking up stairs. 

 

I strip my clothes off, searching for the panties Louis mentioned. When I have them on I go into the bathroom to check how I look. And I wish I never had. 

My belly is huge, my chest is getting soft and I'm getting pudge everywhere. I'm hideous! I take the panties off, turn the lights off and crawl under the covers to hide my face as I cry. Louis is in amazing shape- like a god and he's so beautiful- and here I am getting fatter and disgusting. 

The door cracks open and Louis makes a confused sound.   
"Love, what's wrong?" He asks quietly, sitting beside me and rubbing my thigh. I sniffle and wipe my face. "Harry, please tell me what's wrong. I don't like seeing you so upset and I want to help." 

I frown when he pulls back the covers and lies behind me, arms coming to wiggle around my waist.   
"I'm fat Louis. My belly is big and everything is getting chubbier!" I wail, saying it out loud prompting the tears to fall again which are quickly shushed by Louis.   
"Love you're not fat. You're absolutely gorgeous! You are carrying three of our beautiful babies inside your belly, you have to grow if they do. You want them to grow big and strong right?"  
"Of course I do," I sigh.   
"And you're doing amazingly to keep them safe and warm and healthy. I think that's incredible. You're beautiful to me." 

I turn over and wrap my arms around his shoulders.   
"I love you," I sniffle, kissing his neck.   
"I love you, all four of you," he grins, hand settling on my belly. "Now will you let me show you just how beautiful you are to me?"

I push my lips against his, letting him roll over me so he's on top, holding himself up above me.   
"I. Love. Every. Part. Of. You," Louis whispers between kisses, his mouth moving down my neck and over my chest. "No matter how fat you think they are. Even if you get old and wrinkly, you'll still look gorgeous." 

 

He sucks the head of my dick into his mouth, tongue dipping into my slit over and over again.   
"Lou!" I moan, hands pulling at his hair when he pulls off. "Please, Louis."   
"I'll take care of you, love." 

He brings my legs over his shoulders and licks one long stripe over my hole.   
"Fuck-" I groan.   
"Don't swear. We have little ears listening." 

His tongue dips in a little more every time, hands massaging at my hips. I whine and moan and whimper as he brings me closer to the edge. When he hums and bites at my rim I lose it, spraying white on my chest. 

"Do you want me to-"  
"I want you to relax as much as possible," Louis interrupts. "You look lovely."  
"I'm sticky," I giggle.   
"You're stunning," he breathes. "How did I get so lucky?"  
"You are pretty great yourself, babe. Now c'mon. I want a cuddle." 

He laughs a little, nodding as he settles in bed beside me. I watch with hooded eyes as he scoops my come up with a finger and sucks it into his mouth.   
"Do you want me to get hard again?"  
"I wouldn't mind really," he grins, kissing me gently. "Now go to sleep, love. Tomorrow we'll look into playing. Okay?"  
"Mhm. Can we do what you planned to do today?" I yawn, pressing my face into his neck.   
"Of course we can, babe. I love you."   
"I love you too."


	32. Chapter 32

I'm in need of baby names! Comment what you think Harry and Louis' kids should be called. I'll choose my favourites and give credit to the people who suggested them when I reveal the names!


	33. Chapter 33

Right so I need you to vote on your favourite names. Thank you to everyone who commented names! All you have to do is comment which names you like best ( must have at least one girl and one boy and you may choose the other). 

Baby name options! 

Girl1: Ellie Grace Tomlinson

(Ellie + Grace -helloharold)

Girl 2: Tori Rose Tomlinson 

(Tori -leah_spiers0831) 

 

Boy1: Lucas Henry Tomlinson

(Henry - ladyandrie) 

Boy 2: Toby Max Tomlinson


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait but this ones quite long and I've got things back on track with updating my stories on hear and wattpad so I should be updating more. :) enjoy the 3075 words.

In the morning, Louis wakes me up with soft touches and a cup of tea. I wipe my eyes and smile sleepily up at him.   
"Y'okay?" I mumble, sitting up.   
"I'm good. How're you?"   
"Tired," I laugh. "Thanks for the tea."

We drink our tea curled warmly under the covers. Louis reaches over and takes my tea, placing it on the table next to him. I make a confused noise but he shushes me and dips his head down to kiss me softly.   
"Got some new toys I want to try," he hums, hand moving to cradle my side. 

I tilt my head up slightly to move with him as he urges me to lay down fully. He grins when I comply and kisses me as thanks, reaching to his side. 

His hands hold a piece of black fabric that I've grown familiar with. It's slipped over my eyes and tied carefully before he begins rearranging me as he pleases. I end up splayed on my back with a pillow under my hips and neck.

"You alright there, love?" He asks quietly, fingertips brushing over my ribs as they rise and fall with my heavy breathing. I shiver, smiling softly, and nod.  His hand travels up and tweaks my right nipple, laughing quietly when I make a strangled noise high in my throat. He is still leaning over me, hot breath fanning over my neck and his lips just brushing my skin. 

"Lou," I whine. "Do something."  
"Patience, princess," he teases as he runs his fingertips lightly over my dick. The presence above me leaves and I feel his weight settle between my legs with his hands on my thighs, his thumbs dipping into my muscles firmly. Then his hands are gone completely. 

I take a deep breath to settle myself. His fingers return but they're cold and hard.   
"Lou- wha-"  
"Nothing to worry about. I know what I'm doing. What's your colour?" He reassures.   
"Green, just-" I moan as the plastic covering his fingers begins to circle my nipples.   
"What was that?" He laughs. I laugh along with him, squeezing my thighs together just to show him I appreciate what he's doing. 

 

He's keeping it light and easy for me so I don't stress. He peppers kisses to my stomach, lips too close to my dick to not be touching. When I shift he pinches my hip just gently as a warning. And he holds it.  
"Don't start misbehaving now, love."   
"Ah- please, do something," I gasp, hands clenching and unclenching in the bedsheets. 

"Calm down. We're only just getting started. Want you to take a few deep breaths for me, babe." He counts my breathing in and out a few times and rests his hand on my chest as a small 'well done'. "Good lad. Doing so well for me yeah? Keep it up."

He places his thumb on my bottom lip, pulling it slightly before releasing it. Then it starts buzzing.   
"Wha-"  
"Shush," he orders making me go silent. He runs his fingers down my neck and suddenly all of them are vibrating too. I laugh a little, the sensitive skin of my neck making the vibrations tickle. 

"D'you like our new toys baby?"  
"Yeah, yeah. Louis. Please," I pant sweat covering my body and pooling in the dips of my torso.   
"You hot darling?"  
"Yes." 

The bed moves and I can feel cool air coming towards me.  
"Just put a fan on. Don't need you overheating." He places a gentle kiss on my lips before his fingers and the vibrations return.   
"Thanks, Lou," I whisper just before he runs the vibrations over my nipples making me gasp and arch. He trails them down over my stomach and to my hips. 

My teeth dig into my bottom lip as he moves his fingers closer to my balls. I moan loudly as the vibrations circle over the base of my dick, one pressing into a perineum.   
"How's it feel?" He murmurs.   
"Fucking amazing." Louis laughs a little and kisses the tip of my dick. 

 

His hands trail down my thighs, pulling the vibrations with him. He keeps his touches light because he's an absolute-  
"Tease!" I hiss as he dips the vibrations into my slit and goes back to massaging my hips and thighs. Getting close but not close enough to touch is driving me insane.

"That's the whole point," he chuckles, fingers back at my nipples. I huff and wriggle, wanting to feel him touch me with his own hands. Not some plastic.   
"Lou, k-kiss me please," I sniffle.   
"It's alright, love," he soothes, cupping my face and kissing me slowly and sensually. "You're doing amazingly. What's your colour?"  
"Green, just wanted to feel you instead of the toys."  
"Okay, baby. That can quickly be fixed." 

I hear the cap of the lube snap open and wet, vibrating plastic pressed against my hole.   
"Is it-"  
"Yes, Haz, they're my fingers."  I smile and relax again, happy that some part of Louis will be in me. One hand keeps caressing my torso whilst the other begins pushing inside me, vibrating and moving freely. 

"Holy shit, that's amazing. You're a vibrator Lou," I laugh and moan. He lets out a hearty laugh.   
"You saying you like vibrators more than me?"  
"No!" I protest, crying out when his fingers press into my prostate. "Oh fuck. Love- love you."   
"I know, Haz. Love you too." 

His fingers move away from that incredible place and massage my walls instead.   
"Lou," I whine. "Let me come please."  
"Don't. Tell. Me. What. To. Do." Every word he said he punctuated with a push on my prostate. 

"S-sorry Lou." He hums, resting his thumb from his other hand on the head of my dick, rubbing gentle circles.   
"You won't come until I say, understood?"  
"Yes, Louis." 

He lets the tips of his fingers inside me repeat the action on my sweet spot and it makes me see stars. (Despite the blindfold covering my eyes.)

"Please, Louis. Please- I need to," I beg.   
"No. You need to be good," he says calmly. "You're okay. Just a little longer, alright? You can do it for me."  
"Okay."

He removes his fingers and gets off the bed.   
"Don't whine," he warns. I pout instead, shivering under the breeze from the fan without Louis keeping me warm. "I'm just washing my hands. We're not using the toys anymore."

I'll miss them but as long as I have Louis I'm okay. I hear the water running and then turn off. His footsteps come closer and they stop when I can feel him next to the bed. Then he sits next to me and places a hand on my thigh. His hand is dry. 

"Did you dry your hands with the fan?"  
"Yeah," Louis laughs, kissing my cheek and then my lips before he moves again. "Hold on for me a little longer, baby. Your cock looks so pretty, big and leaking onto your tummy." 

I moan, ridiculously turned on by his words. He pressed against my hole and I know he's going to fuck me nice and slow as he pushes in steadily, thick and hot.   
"Want to see your beautiful eyes as I fuck you," he whispers, pulling the blindfold off.  I blink up at him, leaning up for a kiss. He happily obliges, moving his lips slowly against mine as he pulls out to push back in again. To test if I am allowed, I hesitantly rest my hand on his shoulder. 

"You can touch, love. Just can't touch yourself," Louis grins, dropping his head to mouth at my neck. He continues to fuck in and out slowly, keeping a steady rhythm. I moan, nails digging into his shoulders as he hits that spot over and over again. He nips at my throat and tweaks my nipples, his hands 'accidentally' brushing my dick on his way up. 

"Lou, please. Please can I?"  
"No. And if you ask one more time you won't at all," he says sternly.   
"But-"   
"No, Harry," he growls. "Now you're not at all." 

I begin to cry, dick actually hurting from being hard and desperate for so long.  
"Louis, I can't not-"   
"Yes you can. You'll be okay. Deep breaths." He looks into my eyes and breathes in sync with me before I tell him he can carry on. 

I can tell he's getting closer by the way his hips move quicker and his moans get louder. I try to keep my orgasm at bay as he thrusts deeply. There two years keep streaming down my face. Louis wipes them away with his thumbs and kisses me softly. His hips begin to stutter into me, bucking wildly as the waves of pleasure crash over him. Complete ecstasy is all over his face; eyes screwed shut; mouth open in a silent moan; cheeks flushed and sweaty; lips red and swollen from kissing. 

When he finally comes he collapses against my chest, breathing heavily.   
"Lou, you're leaning on-" I cut myself off with a whine as he shifts and rubs my dick and prostate.   
"Sorry, love," he laughs, pulling out and kissing my hair. "Aw, look how hard you are," he teases when he stands up.   
"Lou, shut up," I sniffle and wipe my eyes again. 

He laughs and goes into the bathroom.   
"I'm gonna have a shower, do you want one?"  
"I don't think I could handle it," I pout. He shakes his head and pulls me up to stand. His arms wrap around my waist and he kisses my head gently.   
"You will be okay. Come shower with me and then you go to Liam and Zayn's while I tidy the house, okay?"  
"Do I have to go hard?"   
"I think you should. If that's alright with you. What's your colour?"  
"Green," I sigh, squeezing him tighter before walking into the bathroom. 

 

The water in the shower is already running, steam filling the room and clouding the mirror. Louis joins me in the shower, chuckling when I keep my back to him. But then he pinches my bum and slides his fingers between my cheeks. I moan, knees going weak and my dick still hard.   
"Lou, please?"  
"Please what, Harry?" He hums as he slips two fingers inside me. 

"Lou, don't be a twat." He smacks his hand down on my arse, the water from the shower making it even worse.   
"Now, now," he laughs. "Could plug you, make it worse."  
"Please don't," I beg.   
"I'll see," he hums. But I know he won't- he's scared to put any part of body under stress so he doesn't want to push it too far.

He washes me with loving kisses, careful not to stimulate me too much. Then he wraps me up in a fluffy towel and lays me on the bed so he can dry my hair. He braids it for me, telling me how pretty I look and how lucky he is to be having babies with me. 

He dresses me in blue panties and some loose pyjama pants with one of his shirts pulled over my head. Everything rubs in the most horrifically perfect way. I smile at him and hug him from behind as he moisturises his face in the mirror. My dick pressed into his arse, his hips pushing back because he's an arsehole. My arsehole. He grins, making eye contact with me through the mirror. When he turns around he wipes moisturiser on my cheeks and forehead and rubs it in with gentle touches.   
"Beautiful." 

"Lou, can I have my colouring book?" I ask as he packs a bag for me to take to Liam's.   
"You feel little again?" He questions, whipping round to look at me.   
"No, just like to colour. It calms me down," I shrug. He nods and kisses my cheek as he puts my pens and book in the bag. 

We don't want to part but Louis tells me he's told Liam that I may need a bit of care because of my current situation and kisses me goodbye. 

 

I knock on the door and I'm welcomed with open arms and awkward hugs. Zayn's cackles when I push my hips away from them while we hug and squeezes my bum because he, like Louis, is a teasing bastard. Liam smacks Zayn but laughs along too, ruffling my hair and patting my cheek. 

We sit on the couch, all drinking a cup of tea. I colour in and find myself sucking on my thumb. Liam smiles warmly and sits beside me, rubbing my back.   
"Are you little?"  
"No..." I mumble around my thumb, laughing at the face Liam pulls. "No, I'm not. I just enjoy it sometimes." He nods in understanding and kisses my head. 

"How're the babas?" He asks, hand hesitantly reaching over to feel my bump. I laugh, shaking my head.   
"You can touch it," I allow. "They're good, not giving me too much trouble."  
"Good. You're going to get massive soon."  
"Thanks for the reminder," I smile. "I can't wait really." 

 

That's how Louis finds us, curled up reading one of my pregnancy books and talking about babies. Thankfully my erection has flagged by then. And he lays with us and joins the conversation, face glowing with pride and excitement as we talk about our babies.   
"They're going to be gorgeous," Zayn comments. "It's impossible for them not to be, with genetics from you guys." 

It's dinner time when we go home and Louis already has a chicken in the oven ready to be served. It is wrapped in bacon and stuffed with cheese and it's incredible.   
"Wow," I moan. "This is amazing, Lou."   
"Why do you moan louder at the table than you do in bed?" He jokes.   
"I'm loud as hell in bed. We both know that," I grin.   
"That we do, baby. Glad you enjoy it. I have Nutella cheesecake for dessert." 

The cheesecake is even better, leaving me stuffed and satisfied.

The house has been cleaned from top to bottom, everything pristine and lovely.   
"Thank you for doing this today, Louis."   
"It was a pleasure, darling." I raise an eyebrow at him and he laughs. "Okay, maybe not a pleasure. But I'll do anything to make you happy. Now c'mon, I want to watch that new episode of forever." 

While we watch it my stomach grumbles and Louis rolls out of bed to bring the rest of the cheesecake up.   
"This okay, Haz?"  
"Yeah, thank you." We share a fork, Louis feeding me bites when he gets the fork even when I tell him to eat some himself. 

"We need to design the babies room. What colours do you think?"  
"Something pastel and soft. I don't want anything to be harsh. Maybe like a mint green?"   
"I think that sounds nice. Maybe we could do pastel rainbow colours. Because they're going to like the different colours," he suggests.   
"That sounds lovely," I smile, resting a hand on my belly. "I think a white crib or a light oak."  
"I agree. We can have stuff like we have in your room: a changing table with the cupboard in; a set of drawers for their clothes; a box for their toys. It's going to be amazing."  
"I think I'll want them to sleep in our room for a little while. It'll be easier with feeding and stuff for the time being." 

"Your nipples are going to get so sore," Louis frowns. "They'll be all puffy and red and pretty."  
"Shut up," I groan. "I'm too tired to come before I go to sleep," I laugh. Louis grins and kisses me before flicking the lights off and curling up with me. 

"What about names, Lou?" I ask when we're comfy.   
"We need to know what they are first."  
"They're babies."  
"Wow, really?" He asks sarcastically, chuckling and kissing my chin. "Genders, love, genders."

"I like the name Alfie for a boy," Louis hums. "Max is nice. For a girl... I like Tori and Isla."  
"I like them. I'm not sure on Isla but I really like Tori and Max. Lucas for a boy. Ellie for a girl. Maybe Grace."  
"Lucas is a lovely name, I really like that. And Ellie. But we'll figure it out once we've found out the genders."  
"Sounds like a plan." 

"I love you princess, and soon to be princes or princesses. Tomorrow we'll go swimming. I headed babies like that when they're in your belly."  
"I'd like that. Love you, Lou."  
"If you're a good boy tomorrow I'll let you come whenever you like, however you like." I gasp as he slips his hands into my underwear and squeezes my arse gently. 

 

And I am good boy, the absolute best. So Louis rims me until I cries, plugs me while we take a bath and keeps it vibrating the whole time, the lowest setting to keep me on edge only letting me come once he has. He comes down my throat and turns the vibrations up straight away, kissing me gently as I rock against his leg to help me reach my orgasm. He calls me beautiful and let's me push him to lie in bed. I turn some quiet music on and grab a bottle of baby oil. 

"Just lay back and relax. Want to do something nice for you after how good you've been to me."

I straddle his thighs, kissing his lips gently before coating my hands in the oil and digging my fingers into his stomach and chest. My fingers work through any tension he has in his arms and legs before making him turn over and I do the same on his back.   
"God, that's good," he moans.   
"You deserve the best," I grin, grabbing his bum.   
"Hey, cheeky," he laughs, shaking his bum. I giggle and lean down to the dimples at the bottom of his back, sucking marks into each dimple. 

"I love your body. It's so pretty and perfect."  
"I'm far from it but thank you," he murmurs. His voice is slurring with his sleepiness.   
"Go to sleep, Lou."   
"Want to fall asleep with you in my arms. Come lay down."

I go easily, curling into his side and burying my head into his chest. He mumbles out a sleepy 'I love all of you' before he falls asleep. I shake my head, yawn and kiss his cheek before falling asleep myself.


	35. Chapter 35

I grow ridiculously over the next two weeks, my belly causing back pains and making me tired and stressed. Louis still tells me I'm beautiful and he's never seen someone so pretty. But it's hard to believe when you're my size. 

"How excited are you?" Louis grins, squeezing my hand as he drives towards the doctors.   
"Very. They're the size of lemons right now. I think. And in a few weeks we should find out the sex."   
"I can't wait."

 

The doctor measures me, asks for symptoms and recommends a support for my belly and back to stop pain. 

When the wand is searching around my belly the doctor frowns and makes a small noise of confusion. I look to Louis.   
"Is there a problem?" He asks quietly, voice wavering.   
"Uhm- it's just a bit early but we can tell what sex the babies are. Do you want to find out?" 

Neither of us reply for a little while. We shouldn't find out the sex for a few weeks.   
"Why can we find out?"  
"They've grown quickly. It's nothing to worry about," the doctor reassures and reiterates the question.   
"Can we have pictures and then find out?" Louis asks.   
"Of course," she smiles lightly and begins waving her wand around once more.

"Ready to find out?" She grins. I nod my head hastily and squeeze Louis' hand tighter. "You're having-"  
"No- stop!" Louis exclaims.   
"What?" I ask, whipping round to look at Louis.   
"I want it to be a surprise to everyone. Can you write it in an envelope and we'll give it this shop? They'll give us a box and when we open it it'll have three balloons in- blue for boy and pink for girl. And we'll open it in front of everyone-"  
"Okay, Lou," I smile, willing to agree to anything that makes him this excited. 

 

Louis hands the envelope and were told it'll be ready by the afternoon so we make some quick phone calls to tell everyone to get to our house by five and to bring some food.

I make chilli and nachos and buy lots of fizzy drinks for everyone to have. Louis is buzzing the whole time with anticipation.   
"C'mere, Lou," I smile as I lean against the counter. He grins and steps in front of me, hands coming to rest at my hips and lips occupying themselves on my neck. "I'm so excited." 

He hums his agreement into my skin, teeth scraping along my collarbones.   
"I love you so much."  
"I love you too," I whisper, pulling him back by his hair for a kiss. He brings his hands up to rest on top of my bump, thumbs rubbing gently over the shirt I'm wearing that's stretched tightly over my skin. 

"I'm so madly in love with you," I announce, fingertips dancing over Louis' cheek. "With the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh and how you try to do your hair but leave it messy because you know that's how I like it. How you're so curvy and soft and beautiful in a way I've never seen. You're so kind and considerate- more than anyone I've ever met. I love that you make funny faces at me in the mirror while we brush our teeth to make me smile. You always take care of me. I have your babies in my belly that will be born In half a year and we'll raise them together and have a perfect family. I'm so proud that I can say I'm pregnant to Louis Tomlinson. You love me and have made me feel loved for the first time in years. I love you."

Louis buries his face in my neck,  inhaling deeply and kissing my collarbone softly. We hold each other as close as my belly will allow until the door knocks. 

Louis, after reluctantly pulling away, answers the door and comes back with the box. He places it on the table.   
"We can think of names for real when we find out. For now, we wait."

 

Liam and Zayn are the first to arrive seeing as they live so close. They being doughnuts and pizza with them. 

They're followed by Louis' mum and sisters and his mum has made soup while the girls have made cupcakes. 

Then Gemma and Niall show up, buzzing with excitement like Louis and I. They bring loads of crisps and a chocolate trifle. 

Mark and James come in shortly after Niall and Gem, greeting both of us with a hug. They bring a roll cake, with strawberries and cream. 

Everyone is enjoying themselves, Louis telling them they won't find out the gender until we've all eaten something. Then everyone gathers around us at the table. Louis and I grab a corner of the box each and lift, the balloons springing up into the air. 

Two blue, one pink. 

Louis looks at me from across the table as everyone cheers and talk ecstatically to each other. I shuffle over and press my lips to his, squeezing him tightly.   
"Two boys and a girl."  
"You think she'll be okay being alone?" Louis asks. I smile.   
"If she's anything like her daddy she'll be able to handle them." 

He nods his agreement before pulling me into a slow, long kiss.   
"Time for cake!" Louis cheers. 

 

Gemma cries on my shoulder for a little while, rambling to me and Niall about how nervous but excited she was to be an auntie. We reassure her that she'll be great until she stops blubbering and hugs me one last time before detaching herself from my side. Niall beams when he learns he's going to have two nephews and a niece. He talks about all the sports games he'll take them to and help them play. 

 

Louis joins me in the back room when everyone else has began to mingle between families and it's quiet, just us. 

I lean my head on his shoulder. He rests his head on top of mine and let's our fingers tangle together where they rest on my thigh.   
"They're going to be so beautiful," he mumbles.   
"I'm happy that they'll have a big, loving family, something I didn't get to have when I grew up," I whisper back.   
"Me too." 

It lulls back into a comfortable silence between us two before we say our goodbyes and then we're alone again.   
Louis offers me a bath which I cannot refuse due to the aching if my joints.   
"You just wanted an excuse to see me naked," I joke. Louis grins.   
"Maybe. Cmon lets get you all warm and clean. Then we'll tuck us in and talk babies." 

 

"So," I start when we're curled up into each other's sides. "Baby names..."


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do this on my wattpad account and it really helps me :) I won't update until this has at least 5 comments. And they cannot be something about me updating, I want them to be about the story or questions. 
> 
> That reminds me, I realised I've never done a character ask and wondered if you'd ever want me to do something like that? Let me know and enjoy this long chapter :) xx

We decide the names and write them down in the scrapbooks Jay got us. They document the pregnancy and the child's first few years. They have one for each baby and proudly write the baby names on the cover of each one. 

'Lucas Henry Tomlinson'

'Ellie Grace Tomlinson'

'Toby Max Tomlinson'

 

Louis has a long phone call with the doctor and announces that I am now on bed rest until I am recovered from the pregnancy.   
"So you mean I can't do fucking anything until way after I've had the babies?"  
"Don't you dare talk to me that way. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you get away with being bad." 

I glare at him and shake my head, pulling the blanket over me.   
"Well if I'm on bed rest surely you shouldn't punish me?" I retort. Louis looks pissed and disappointed.   
"What's to stop me locking your little cock up for the next five months?"  
"Piss off, Lou. Not like you'd give a shit anyway, you don't find me attractive so why would you care about whether j can get it up or not?"   
"Harry I try to show you and tell you all the time how beautiful I think you are," he groans, running his hands through his hair. 

I sigh and nod my head. I know he's right.   
"Sorry, Lou."  
"I'm going to speak to my dad about his doctors appointment. I'll see you later. You can go to Liam's if you want or ask them to come round here."   
"See you later. I love you."   
"I love you too," he smiles sadly, still unhappy because of my previous misbehaviour. 

 

When he returns I've had a nap and a snack but he comes back with red eyes and puffy cheeks. I allow him to shuck off his shoes and his hoody before pulling him to lay with me. His head rests on my chest as I stroke through his hair, nails scraping at his scalp. 

"You okay, Lou? What's wrong?"I ask softly.   
"My dad, he's been diagnosed with cancer." I wipe my eyes to stop myself from crying. I need to be here for him instead of blubbering myself. His voice is quiet and croaky. He clings to me, fingers rubbing over my belly with touches that feel ghostly they're that light. I kiss his head and run my hand up and down his back. 

He falls asleep after a little while so I tuck him into bed and ring his dad.   
"Hey Mark, you okay?" I greet.   
"I'm adjusting but I'm feeling alright really," he sighs. "How're you and the babies?"  
"We're doing great. Do you and James want to come over and have dinner with me and Louis? We can talk about the babies and everything. I'm sure he'd appreciate it."   
"That sounds lovely, Haz. We'll be round when?"   
"Six?" I suggest.   
"Six," Mark confirms. 

When Louis wakes up I'm downstairs in one of his jackets preparing. Dinner for four. He comes behind me and kisses my neck.   
"What're you doing love?"  
"Your dad and James are coming over for tea. You okay?" I smile softly,  turning to kiss him gently on the lips.   
"I'm- coming to terms with it," he sighs. "What're you making?"  
"Bbq ribs with sweet potato chips and corn on the cob."   
"Sounds lovely, Haz. Thank you for doing this."   
"It's okay. Sorry about being so bratty before, it was out of line and over the top. I accept any punishment you thing is fitting." 

Louis shakes his head slightly and kisses my jaw.   
"I just want to be close to you and my babies. It really makes you realise what's important to you." I nod and kiss his shoulder, pushing his hair out of his eyes.   
"Go sit down. I'll bring you a cup of tea in a minute."   
"Thanks, babe."

I sigh and rub my belly before bringing in our drinks and sitting next to Louis on the couch. He leans his head on my shoulder.   
"I know you don't like it but you need to start taking it easy, Harry. For your health and the babies'."  
"I will. I just hate the idea of not being able to help you out around the house."  
"I'll get you a laundry basket and little desk tidies so you can keep your things together and it'll be easier for me to sort. Does that sound like a compromise?" He smiles.   
"I suppose so," I fake pout. 

"My dad wants me to take over the school while he gets treatment and if he-"  
"No. Don't say that word," I interrupt. "It will only make you feel worse if you say it, Louis. You can do it. You'll do great. When I finish this school and the kids are a bit older I want to become a counsellor here, y'know?" My hands are cupping the sides of his face, thumbs massaging under his eyes as I kiss him slowly and gently. 

When I pull away he sighs and wraps himself around me.   
"That sounds great Haz. I'm sure you'd do wonders with that job, babe. You'd be so good."   
"Thanks Lou. Now go grab me some clothes so your dad doesn't see me naked," I grin, kissing his head before I go back to the kitchen to check the food. 

Louis comes back with a pair of black joggers, panties and vest.   
"I'm so fat," I moan to myself as I pull the clothes on.   
"Hey!" Louis scolds. "I don't like hearing you talk like that."  
"Sorry," I mumble. "I just feel really big but I kind of like it?"  
"Yeah?" Louis grins. "I like it a lot too. So much. Gonna knock you up as soon as I can."   
"Hold your horses, Lou, I'm not even halfway there yet."  
"Well actually most triplets are born at 32 weeks so you are."   
"Smarty," I grumble, kissing his hand as it passes my lips to brush a curl behind my ear.

 

"Imagine though if we get you pregnant again and then it was twins or triplets. Or quad-"  
"Don't even go there!" I laugh, smacking his shoulder lightly. "What's the time?"  
"We've got a few minutes until my dad shows up," he answers, jumping up to sit on the counter. I nod my head and stand between his knees, hands resting on his thighs. My belly stops me from getting as close as I'd really like but Louis rubs it happily, staring adoringly down at it. 

"Our three little babies," he murmurs.   
"Don't feel little," I chuckle. "But they have a lot of growing to do. Can't wait until I feel them moving and wriggling around in there."   
" I can't wait until they can hear us talking to them. That's in about seven weeks." 

Louis leans down and catches my lips in a slow, lazy kiss.   
"I like being taller than you. But I love you being as tall as you are. My beautiful God of a boyfriend. The mother to my babies."   
"Are you actually going to get the babies to call me mummy?"  
"Does it bother you?" He frowns.   
"No. Just wondering what the little ones will know me as. I think mummy is quite nice honestly."   
"Yeah?" Louis beams. "Best mummy ever." 

The doorbell interrupts another kiss and I pull away and instruct Louis to get the plates out and dish out the food. 

"Hi, Louis is just putting the food out so we can go and sit at the table. What d'you want to drink?"   
"Just a water for me, please," Mark smiles gratefully.   
"Me too, please, Harry," James agrees. 

I go to make the drinks, grabbing a drink of cranberry juice for myself and Louis a glass of coke.  
"You okay, babe?" I ask as I pass him.   
"Yeah, concentrating," he jokes.   
"Seriously, Lou. You doing okay?"  
"Yeah, Haz. I'm alright, just worried. Naturally."  
"Okay. I'll come back out to get some plates."

I place the glasses of water next to Mark and James then the Coke and cranberry juice next to mine and Louis' seats before going to retrieve some food. 

 

We come back and sit down across from Louis' dad and James.   
"How are they?" James grins, gesturing to my tummy.   
"Growing. They're healthy and doing well. The doctor said it may be one of he best high risk pregnancies he's ever seen," Louis beams. "Got such a good mummy taking care of them."  
"A mummy who is supposedly on bed rest until she recovers from delivering these little monkeys."  
"Well, you gotta do what you gotta do," Mark smiles. "Can't wait until I get to meet my two grandsons and my granddaughter." 

"They'll be absolutely beautiful," James adds, everyone staring lovingly at my belly.

Once were completely finished with our food we move to the couches to start talking. Louis brings my feet into his lap and massages my ankles and feet, kissing my calf when I thank him happily.   
"So good to me," I grin. Mark watches with a teary smile and clears his throat. 

"Louis, are you willing to take over in my position as head master?" His dad sighs.   
"Dad," Louis stresses. "I haven't even finished the school."  
"You would have finished already. I can pass you both for the rest of your remaining years of you wanted."  
"Is that allowed?" I ask.   
"Who cares? It would be my last move as headmaster," Mark chuckles.   
"That's a big responsibility dad. Especially with Haz having the babies. I don't know."   
"Maybe you can be my deputy for a while until I have to take time off. I'm sure you can ask for help from James. I would be able to give advice, just wouldn't have the energy to do the job. You'll be okay, Louis. You always are." 

"I'd stay at home until the triplets were older. And I could still help out then," I offer to him. "Then when they are old enough I could start helping more and become a counsellor."   
"I think that sound amazing, Harry," Mark agrees, looking hopefully at Louis.   
"O-okay."

James and I sit in the living room while Mark and Louis talk 'business' in the kitchen. We talk for ages about the babies in my belly, how excited we are and how wonderful Louis will be as a dad and Mark as a grandpa. He asks about my desire to be a counsellor in the school I currently attend. He tells me he thinks I'll be great at the job and that he's really proud of how much I've changed and opened up in the past few years. It gets me thinking about how long Louis and I have been together. More than two and a half years. God that's gone quickly. 

 

When they leave Louis curls up in my lap and covers my belly in kisses.   
"Love you no matter what you do. Have loved you for so long, Lou. Feels like forever but feels like a day at the same time." He hums and nods his head. 

"Babe, c'mon. You'll get a sore neck if you don't sleep in our bed. Ted go upstairs." 

He stumbles upstairs as he pulls off his clothes. I laugh and roll my eyes before carrying a glass of water up for him, knowing that he gets thirsty in the night. 

I kiss him after I've stripped naked and climbed in next to him.   
"I love you, Louis."   
"I love you, Haz."

 

Louis has taken a picture everyday of my pregnancy and doesn't show any signs of stopping. At 18 weeks I'm struggling to do anything due to my size so I'm forced to stay in bed all day. Louis takes me for a walk in the morning and the evening, caters to my every need while working alongside his dad. He makes me breakfast and lunch so I can eat while he's gone and is back in time for dinner. 

Zayn and Liam often keep me company and hold my spirits up high. I plan the babies' nursery with Louis of an evening and by my twenty fourth week it is painted and finished. I'm actually huge, unable to see my dick if it's hard anymore, unable to tie my shoes or get shoes on at all when my feet are this swollen. 

Louis is cooking me dinner when I gasp and shout his name.   
"Oh my god, what's wrong?" He shouts as he runs up to the room.   
"Give me your hand." 

He offers his hand out and sits beside me as I hold his hand over where the baby kicked.   
"Talk to them. They like it when you talk," I smile. He grins and dips his head down to kiss my belly and presses his ear to it.   
"Daddy loves you. He is so excited to met you but have to stay in mummy's belly for a little bit. So you can grow as big and strong as you can." 

I start to feel disappointed, thinking the babies won't do it again.  Then Louis gasps and his hand flies to his ear.   
"Kicked me in the head," he laughs with tears in his eyes. "Cheeky monkey." 

He kisses my bump over and over and over again, murmuring soft promises to  them to take care of them and to love hem so much. We both begin crying when a large flutter of kicks come from the right side of my belly.   
"That's one the lads," I tell Louis, thinking back to when the doctor told us the positioning.   
"My little footballer. Who kicked me in the head?" He grins.   
"Ellie," I smile, using her name properly for the first time.   
"A little fighter. The other lad must be quiet or lazy."  
"Lazy like your mummy," I chuckle, rubbing my fingertip over my left side.

"Can we go swimming again?" I ask.   
"I'd love it babe, but you're not allowed. We can have a bath?" He smiles sympathetically.   
"A bath sounds lovely. My backs hurting." He makes a small noise of disapproval and kisses my belly before helping me up. The bath only takes a few minutes to run and Louis pours some muscle soother in. 

He helps me lower myself in and sits in between my legs, splashing water over my belly. My belly seems to wobble with how the babies kick and I giggle and rub the top of my bump. Louis grins and begins to massage my legs instead of my belly. 

"Can you sing?" I ask him when the babies won't stop kicking. He raises an eyebrow but nods his head anyway.   
"What should I sing?" He asks nervously as he shuffles closer to my belly.   
"A kids song? Something that's calm."

After a few minutes of thinking he starts singing.   
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey, you never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away," he sings softly. As he continues to sing the kicking begins to stop. 

"They love your voice already. It calms them down," I grin, pushing Louis' hair back from his forehead.   
"Daddy loves you. And daddy loves mummy too."   
"Mummy loves you and daddy so much," I nod, kissing Louis slowly when he leans close to my face. 

 

He washes me and dries me slowly, kissing everywhere he can. His fingers work out the knots in the bottom of my back and my hips before his pulls my panties up my legs and lets me waddle back to bed. 

 

"You're getting so big," Zayn marvels when he and Liam are sat next to me the next day. Louis is with his dad discussing when his dad is taking time off so Zayn and Liam  are keeping me company. Liam is knitting the babies some clothes and Zayn is helping me shop online for the last bits and bobs. Louis let me fold and organise the clothes into the drawers in the nursery. They're all neat and separate for each baby. Louis has packed my hospital bag with clothes for me and the triplets too. 

"They're very excited today," I chuckle. "I hope they haven't got any intentions on coming out any time soon. Got to try and stay in there until 34 weeks. God that's like 62 days away."  
"How've you been feeling?"Liam asks as he counts the stitches on his needle.   
"Sore. Everywhere. My nipples hurt, my stomach hurts, my back hurts, my ankles and my head hurts."   
"Aw babe," Zayn coos and kisses my temple. 

They sit either side of me and rest their hands gently on my tummy.   
"Love their uncle Z and uncle Li already," I grin when I feel the babies press against my belly too.   
"Well uncle Li and uncle Z love them already too," Liam says loudly, rubbing the stretch mark on the underside of my belly. 

They fuss over me, Zayn making me a fruit salad while Liam continues to knit and inquire about the babies.   
"How big should you be at 34 weeks?"   
"Should go over my toes," I groan. "Do you think you'll last that long?"  
"I hope so. The longer the little ones stay in here," I smile, drumming my fingers over my bump. "The bigger and healthier they grow." 

 

Louis comes home at five, an hour later than usual.   
"Hey babe," he shouts. "Sorry I'm late. Something happened with a student."  
"It's okay. Li made us dinner, bring some up and tell me about your day." 

He comes up with two bowls of stew and places one next to me before he puts my support pillow beneath my belly and lifts me to a sotting position. I kiss him quickly after he's climbed in the bed. 

"How've they been?" Louis asks when he bends to kiss my tummy three times.   
"Excited. Have been moving all day," I sigh, rubbing the top of my bump in hope of calming them down. Louis showing up has made them excited all over again after they calmed at around 3. 

"So, what happened?"  
"There is a first year - so my year- that freaked out in the counselling room. He had a complete breakdown when his Dom threatened to cane him. My dad spoke to the Dom while I spoke to the sub. It took a while to calm him down but he's doing well. He is staying in a temporary room rather than with his Dom while they sort things out. I went over his contract with him and he changed it when his Dom wasn't there. But he's okay now. He enjoyed me talking about you, y'know?" He smiles slightly. "He asked about my Dom and I explained everything that's happened to make us end up in this situation. He asked about you and how long we've been together. 

God, nearly three years, Haz. 

Anyway he asked about how we worked through our problems and hearing that people have gone through the same really helped him."  
"Can I meet him?" I ask straight away. "Can I sit in on his counselling sessions?"  
"I'll ask him tomorrow if he wants to meet you but the only place you'll be sitting is in bed."   
"Please, Lou?" I whine. "I want to see what it's like."   
"Harry, we'll speak to my dad about it. Okay? And the doctor."   
"Fine." 

Louis lets me eat in silence and goes into the bathroom when he's finished. I yawn and turn onto my side, pulling my pillow underneath my belly. When my eyes are closed I feel the bed dip beside me, the heat of Louis behind me and the blanket being pulled over my shoulders. Louis comes close, a leg fitting between mine, an arm resting on my side with a hand on the front of my belly and kisses on my shoulders. 

"You asleep?" I ask about half an hour later when I fail to fall asleep myself.   
"No. I thought you were. Roll over, I'll help you sleep." 

I roll so I'm on my back and smile up at him, carding my fingers through his hair to pull him down for a kiss. He kisses me roughly, teeth nipping at my bottom lip before he lets his tongue slide between my lips. His hand travels down and strokes my dick slowly, encouraging me to get hard. I buck against his hand and moan. He grins, pulling away before his mouth travels down to my nipples. 

"Ah!" I gasp, whining when bites down gently.   
"Bet these are hurting aren't they baby?" Louis teases and continues to play with my nipples. My hands are on his shoulders and my nails dig in to his skin when he begins sucking on them. Louis pulls off quickly and punches my nipple. It feels wet. 

"Fuck babe. You're lactating." 

I squeak and open my eyes, blushing wildly.   
"Can you suck something other than my nipples?"I request desperate to get the attention away from the milk dribbling down my chest. Louis ignores me - besides spitefully sucking a bruise into my shoulder - and lets his fingers play around with the liquid around my nipple. He makes a patter with it that I can feel but can't see because my eyes are closed tightly. The tip of his tongue follows the pattern he just made before groaning. 

"Never thought I'd be jealous of the babies in your tummy. Then again they do get to be in you longer than I ever have, get to drink this every day," he whispers. I blush even more and thank him quietly as he moves down to where I want him most. 

He wastes no time in taking me as much as he can, tongue massaging the underside of my dick. His hand cups and massages my balls. I moan and pull at his hair, letting him control the speed until I come down his throat. 

"Good boy, so good for me, baby. I love you so much. I'm so lucky to be having babies with such a beautiful boyfriend. Gonna get you pregnant over and over again so you always look this pretty. Gonna make you mine."   
"I am yours," I grin at Louis. "All yours, love. And you're mine. Forever."

Seems like the babies woke up with all the commotion so Louis promises to make us a drink and come calm them down. 

 

I fall asleep with Louis singing into my bump, relaxing our unborn children and thoughts of my beautiful family and future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do this on my wattpad account and it really helps me :) I won't update until this has at least 5 comments. And they cannot be something about me updating, I want them to be about the story or questions. 
> 
> That reminds me, I realised I've never done a character ask and wondered if you'd ever want me to do something like that? Let me know and enjoy this long chapter :) xx


	37. Chapter 37

I meet the sub Louis told me about the day before I hit the 26 week mark. He is a short, pale, ginger boy called Daniel who is scared to talk and looks at the floor almost permanently. 

"Hey, Daniel, lovely to meet you," I greet, reaching a hand out to him. He shakes it shyly and looks nervously around him. "You can sit in the chair. No need to kneel around me." 

He nods and sits down, wriggling slightly to get comfortable.   
"I'm Harry, Louis' sub. He spoke to me the day he helped you and I was very eager to talk to you. How are you and your Dom?"  
"We're doing okay. We've gone back over the contract and he's been really nice about all the changes we've made."  
"It's quite late on in the year  for something like this to happen really. Don't you trust your Dom?"  
"I didn't until a few months ago," he answers honestly. "I was very shy and refused to speak any words other than 'yes sir. ' or 'no sir.' Or 'sorry sir.' That annoyed him quite a bit really but I was scared to slip up if I said something else. He was very strict at first and I didn't like it so when he realised it wasn't working he began taking a softer approach- more like we were boyfriends who enjoyed being kinky." 

"That's like what happened with me and Louis," I grin. He's eased up as he has spoken, shoulders slouching and a small smile making its way onto his face. "We had a lot of bumps in the road."  
"But look where you are now," he smiles. I nod and rub my belly with a little laugh.   
"Yeah, 26 weeks pregnant with triplets. Can you have children?"  
"I can. But I don't know if I want them. If I find the right person then maybe."

"So you're thinking about becoming a counsellor?" Daniel asks as he eats the food Louis brought up.  
"Yeah. I'd love to be able to do what my counsellor has done for me and Louis. She's a life saver."

Daniel laughs and nods his head.   
"Chris said I have to be back by two," he sighs and checks his watch.   
"You've moved back in with him?"   
"Yeah, two days ago. It's nice, I like it."

Daniel leaves at half one and promises to keep in touch if his Dom allows it. Louis comes up and settles behind me to rub my shoulders while we both eat ice cream.   
"How's your back?"  
"Not getting worse, so it's manageable. How was your day?"I ask.   
"Good. Wish I'd spent more of it with you though. How was yours with Daniel?"  
"Good. He opened up to me after a little while. We spoke about this lot for a little while and we spoke about us. I asked about how comfortable he is and he asked for tips on how to communicate. Me, Louis!" I laugh. "Me communicating."

"I've never heard of something more absurd," he laughs along and kisses my neck with cold lips. "My dad wants you to do some work with Ali before the babas are born. So you know how it works. But you can do it all from the safety of your bed."  
"I hate this, Lou," I sigh, becoming extremely sad all of a sudden. "I really don't like it. I want it to end. I hurt all over. I'm stupidly emotional and annoying. You have to do everything for me and I feel horrible that you don't have any time to yourself. You're working so hard and I just make it harder for you. I look massive, I'm leaking milk from my nipples!" I exclaim. "I just want them out of me already." 

And the tears are here, rolling down my chin and tickling my skin. Louis doesn't scare or worry, simply brushes the tears away from my face. 

"I know. And it will be over soon, love. Just a little longer and then we'll meet our beautiful babies, yeah? And it'll all be worth it just to hold them in our arms. Your nipples need to leak so you can feed the babas so they grow big and strong. I don't want time to myself. I want to spend every second of my life with you, Harry. You don't trouble me with needing help, it's a pleasure to help you. Okay? I love you whether you're needy and get upset over tiny little things or whether you are independent and don't need my help for anything. I love you and nothing will change that." 

He takes the empty bowls and puts them on the bedside table before arranging us and my pillow to lie on our sides.   
"I'll be able to hold you properly instead of spooning you. And we will be able to properly begin working. We can do it together."  
"Thank you, Louis. I love you."

 

At my next ultra sound the doctor tells me that baby 1 and baby 2 are head down and engaged. Apparently it's a worry that I may go into early labour. The other baby is up near my ribs more than the other two which I'm told to keep an eye on. But they're all strong and healthy, doing amazingly in my belly.

 

I take a nap after breakfast the day after my appointment. And Louis is at his dad's. When I wake up I feel a really bad pain in the bottom of my belly. Panicking, I ring Louis. The babies can't come yet!

"Babe?"  
"Lou," I pant, "I've got- really bad pain. In my stomach."  
"Okay, I'm coming over right now, love. Well ring the doctor and see what we should do. It's okay, everything's okay." 

I hold my belly and cry down the phone until Louis gets to the bedroom. He immediately rings the doctor and sits next to me, holding my belly with me.  

The doctor tells Louis it's Braxton hicks and that I should 'just walk it off'.   
"Just walk it off? I can barely move, never mind bloody walking!" I snap, cradling my belly as I cry into the pillows. 

 

I adjust, able to manage with the pain within the next few days. 

 

When I reach 28 weeks the doctor decides, after scanning my bump, that he wants to bring me in to stay in the hospital until I have the triplets. I have a few days before I have to check in to get ready. Louis spends the days leading up to it at home with me, looking nice after me and just making happy memories with me before I go into hospital. 

 

I'm extremely sad to be going into hospital but Louis repeats that it is the best way to take care of me and the babies and I can't argue with that. 

 

Niall stays in our old house with Gemma so that they can visit me every day, Louis still having to work. They keep me company so I don't go insane on my own and Louis makes sure to visit me every evening at least. 

On my eighth night, Louis brings subway and curls up to my side, watching a new film he's downloaded on his iPad. 

"What ones this?" I ask quietly and lean on him.   
"Pixels. It's got Adam Sandler in. I thought you'd enjoy it," he smiles, kissing me gently before turning back to the film. 

 

When he leaves it's with watery smiles and kisses and promised to come back tomorrow. 

And he does visit me every day, rings me every morning and night and while he eats his lunch. Mark visits too and we talk about how we both feel mentally and physically. It's nice. 

Jay brings the girls over when I'm 29 and a half weeks and they spend the day with me, asking about the babies. I talk to Lottie about the school she's started and she gushes about her Dom, describing how their first scene was and how they are as a couple now. 

 

Louis comes to see me in the morning, telling the doctor about my complaints of pressure in my pelvis. He tells me, like he does every time, to ring him if he needs me. 

 

And I do. I begin getting strong contractions at 9:38, trying to ride them out like I would a Braxton Hicks contraction. I buzz for the nurse when they end and begin again a few minutes later. The bed beneath me feel damp. 

"What's wrong?"  
"I'm having contractions and-" I groan, squeezing the bed frame hard. "I think my waters have broken."  
"Okay, Mr. Styles, I need to check how dilated you are." 

She gets me changed into a hospital gown and checks my dilation.   
"You're 4cm dilated, we will take you in to prepare you for your caesarean."   
"Let me call Louis," I sniffle, grabbing my phone and ringing his number. 

"Louis, get to the hospital, now," I whimper. "I need you."  
"Harry, what's happening?" 

I can hear the car door slamming closed.   
"I'm going into labour so they're taking me in for a c-section."  
"I'll be there in a minute. I love you."  
"I love you."

 

I'm brought into the operation room, surgeons racing around me as they prepare. A sheet is placed in front of me, just at my bump so I don't see what happens, after I've had the anaesthetic. 

Louis arrives in scrubs as I'm asking the doctor whether it's okay for the babies to be born this early. He immediately rushes to my side, taking hold of my hand and kissing my sweaty forehead.   
"Okay, love?"  
"No. I'm nervous," I frown.   
"Don't be nervous, babe. You're in the best hands here and so are the babies." 

He kisses me gently and then the surgeon announces they're beginning. 

I feel a tugging sensation at my belly and everything seems a bit hectic, Louis glancing past the sheet to see what's going on. He comes back a little paler than he was before, squeezing my hand.   
"Everything's okay, just not a fan of blood," Louis says when he senses my panic. 

All of a sudden there's a rush of people. Midwives speed past and then the frantic hum of urgency is broken by a loud, proud cry. I let out a cry of my own, wiping at my eyes frantically as a baby is laid on my chest.   
"It's a girl," the midwife smiles.   
"Hello Ellie, I'm your mummy and this is your daddy," I whisper shakily, a gentle finger trailing over her red cheek. I kiss her head and Louis does the same before the midwife takes her away. 

Soon after, another baby is placed on my chest. He's quiet, fists clenching and unclenching as he wriggles.   
"Lucas?" Louis asks.   
"Definitely Lucas," I grin. We both kiss him before he's taken away to be cared for like his sister.

Toby is the loudest, letting out an ear splitting squeal when he rests on my chest. Me and Louis both cry even more when he's taken away, wanting to have all of our children in our arms. 

Louis combs my hair out of my eyes and pulls it into a bun.   
"So proud of you, you've been looking after them so well in there. Such a good mummy. And my good boy," he whispers, kissing my nose as we wait for the doctors to fix me up. 

I'm falling asleep as I'm moved back to my room, thoughts of my beautiful children and their daddy.

 

Later in the day, a knock on the door wakes me up and three nurses come in, each wheeling a cot. Louis coos and talks softly to his babies, taking a picture of all three. 

"They're hungry, you can lay them on this pillow," the nurse announces, producing a large body pillow they can lie on while I feed one. "We can get you a pump and some bottles too." 

We thank them and they leave us in peace with our babies. Lucas is staring, wide eyed and silent, at the ceiling. Ellie is making small gurgling noises, legs pulled up to her chest and little fists rubbing her mittens over face. Toby is whimpering, squirming and scrunching up his face. I cautiously take my top off and set the pillow out over my knees which are spread beneath the blanket to create a little hollow for the babies to rest in. Louis picks up Ellie and carefully lays her down on the pillow. He hands me Toby and keeps ahold of Lucas. 

I guide Toby's head to my chest, tapping his cheek when his lips brush my nipple, causing him to open his mouth. He latches on and begins suckling, fists waving and legs kicking gently. Louis grins and takes a picture of the two of us. 

"Such a good mummy you three have," he says softly, stroking the soft patch of hair on top of Lucas' head. Ellie watches me, or at least looks like she does, and mouths at her mittens. 

The sensation of feeding is odd, quite uncomfortable when you've done it for three babies in a row. All three of them took to it really well and so did I, feeling closer to them now that they've literally fed from me. 

Louis changes their nappies for me while I rest back and watch them flail and kick. My painkillers are wearing off as time goes on, the pull on the stitches making it difficult to move at all so I stick for holding the babies hands or just rubbing a patch of skin. 

All three go to sleep with their bellies full and Louis encourages me to drink a bottle of water and a eat a sandwich before  I go back to sleep. Louis has put all three of them back in their cots and has slipped into the bed beside me to hold me while I sleep for the first time in what feels like forever. 

I have everything I could ever need and I've never been happier.


	38. Chapter 38

So I have four new stories that I haven't yet published. Three are Larry and one is Sterek. In the comments I want you to vote for which one you want!

 **1\. Nothing lasts forever (except maybe this) - Sterek**.

Stiles doesn't know what forever means. Everything he's ever known as always come to an end.

Derek proves that things can last forever.

Lots of Sterek, smut, werewolves, feelings and talking.

_Warnings: sex, wolf sex, depression, eating disorder_

**2\. You - Larry.**   
Soul marks are celebrated differently around the world, the first words your soul mate will ever say to you scrawled in their handwriting somewhere on your body.

It is considered polite to keep your mark permanently covered until you reach the age of eighteen, though even then it's still frowned upon by some.

Harry, a vibrant, confident fashion model and designer is graced with the words 'Holy shit!' Written along his collarbone. It gives him nightmares through his childhood and continues to bug him until he meets his soul mate.

There's always been speculation about whether people could really really feel each other through their soul mark. Louis, grumpily, will confirm the theories as his soul mate seems to have night terrors until his early teens.

Louis, a world famous actor, has scrawled on his bicep: 'what a lovely way to introduce yourself'. Louis wonders what he will do to deserve it.

_Warnings: sex._

  
_**3\. Three is a magic number, but four is even better - Larry.** _   
_The Styles triplets, most popular, lusted-after alphas in the whole school. But they never find an omega to fit their needs, never one they agree on._

Until Louis, a short, gorgeous omega walks into school one morning and turns their world upside down with a single scent.

Can Louis manage all three alphas?

_Warnings: sex, knotting, past sexual abuse, anxiety._

**4\. Some things are best kept secret- Larry**

Harry is the shy one contrary to what the fans believe. Behind closed doors he's quiet and independent. He flinched each time the boys touch him like they would any of the others. He refuses to get changed in front of them.

They've known something was wrong since they were put together on the X-factor. But Harry won't tell.

Because some things are best kept secret.

_Warnings: past sexual abuse, past emotional/physical abuse, nightmares, anxiety, self harm._

  
**So I'm going to publish most of them at one point but which would you like to see first?**

Thanks guys :) x


	39. Chapter 39

When I wake up the babies aren't here.   
"Lou!" I panic, tapping his arm where it lays on the bed. His head has lolled to the side in his sleep. "Lou!"  
"What's up, Haz?" He mumbles, rubbing at his eyes as he sits up.   
"Where are the babies?"  
"Love," he soothes, kissing me. "The nurses came. They took them back to the nursery, they need to be looked after carefully. We can go and see them in the morning but for now, you need to rest."

I can't sleep, restless without my babies and with the stitches in my belly so I scroll through my phone. 

Louis cuddles up carefully up next to me, kissing my cheek as he watches what I look through. We mainly go through baby blogs and read articles about newborns. When I begin to yawn Louis takes my phone and places it on the bedside table. 

"Rest," he smiles. "You go to sleep so in the morning you can go visit our wonderful little babies. You did so well, Haz. I'm so proud of you."  
"Love you Lou," I mumble, tucking my face into his neck.   
"Love you, too, babe. Love you so much."

 

In the morning the nurses come down and help Louis by directing him on where to wheel me to get to the nursery. Louis braids my hair as we wait for another couple to leave because we wanted them to have a private moment. 

"So pretty," Louis grins. "Made such a beautiful set of babies."  
"Couldn't have done it without you," I laugh, holding his hand as we look through the window to see the triplets. 

Their cots are lined up side by side. Lucas is asleep. His little hands are up by his face as his feet wriggle. Ellie is awake, mouthing at her mittens as she kicks her legs. Toby is still asleep too. His face is scrunches up like he's being bothered by something but he settles down when a nurse passing by rubs his belly gently. 

When the other couple leaves they are wiping their eyes so I smile sympathetically and thank the nurse that holds the door open for us. Louis wheels me to sit next to Ellie, helping me slip my gown off. The nurse closes the blinds and stands beside Louis. 

"These little ones should be able to go home soon," she smiles and smooths the dark hair on Toby's head. "You will be able to leave at the end of the week, maximum. And your babies will be quick to follow."  
"I don't want to leave them here," I frown. "Lou, I don't want them to be on their own."  
"Okay love," he soothes quickly. "We'll be okay, we'll sort something out. You need to calm down so you can feed Ellie." 

I nod and take a few deep breaths, wincing as my stitches twinge. He sets Ellie gently on my chest. 

"Hey, princess," I coo, kissing her head gently. "Mummy loves you."  
"Gosh, aren't you beautiful?" Louis grins as he crouched down to see her. She is looking around curiously where she lays on my chest, mouth opening and closing against my skin repeatedly.   
"C'mon then, misses. You must be hungry," I grin and help her latch on, closing my eyes as she drinks. 

"People can visit us and the babies today. Zayn and Liam are coming. Niall and Gemma. My dad and my mum."  
"Are they excited?"  
"Ecstatic," Louis agrees. He picks up Toby who's bottom lip has begun to wobble as he fusses in his sleep. Louis kisses his head and sways him gently. 

"Hush, little man, you'll get mummy in a minute. Hey," Louis whines. "Don't kick daddy."

I reach up and rub his foot gently until he calms down. Louis grins down at me.   
"Such a good mummy," Louis says softly. Ellie moves her head away and Louis panics when she throws up some of her milk into my chest.   
"Lou, it's fine. Just get me something to wipe us off with," I smile calmly. Louis nods his head, laying down Toby gently in his cot. He gets a wet wipe and wipes off my chest and the front of Ellie. 

"I'll change her," our nurse says kindly and lifts her off of my chest.   
"Oh, Toby," I coo as he begins to cry. Louis quickly hands me him so I can feed him he latches on quickly and lies still. "Noisy little one, aren't you, love? Gonna be like your daddy?"  
"I'm so happy. Unbelievably happy."

Ellie is still sniffling from being sick so Louis picks her up again and rocks her gently until she calms down.   
"How's little Lucas?"  
"Still sleeping," Louis smiles. "They're so beautiful."  
"Absolutely wonderful," I nod, grinning when Toby burps. "Have you had enough greedy? Is your little belly full yet?" 

He gurgles and whimpers as he kicks his legs.  
"Wriggly little one," Louis grins.  
"Hand me Lucas?" I ask. Louis nods and kisses my head. I shift Toby to my right shoulder, making sure he was okay before I tuck Lucas into my left shoulder, kissing their soft, pink skin before I ask for Ellie. Louis lays her in the middle of my chest as I reach to hold all three safely. 

He takes his phone out, snapping a quick picture before kneeling in front of me.   
"I'm sad that your bump is gone," he pouts. "I loved it."  
"But in return, you get these three little monkeys," I grin, accepting the kisses he presses to my lips.   
"Yes and I love them so much. So, so much."  
"It's overwhelming just holding them, after nine months of waiting to see them to finally be able to hold them and kiss them is- a lot," I sniffle, thanking Louis when he wipes my eyes so I don't cry on the kids. "Lucas is still sleeping. I'll have to wake him up so his feeding schedule is the same as Ellie and Toby."

Louis takes Ellie and Toby before he sits down, leaning back so they can rest nicely on his chest.   
"My little babies," he sighs happily, closing his eyes.   
"C'mon, Lucas. Lucas," I whisper, rubbing his cheek gently until he yawns and blinks up at me. "There you are, mister."

I help him latch on. He sucks lazily, eyes still heavy with sleep as I watch Louis with the kids. He's absolutely gorgeous and I just love him, love the babies so much that it's hard to comprehend. I kiss Lucas' head and close my own eyes.

Lucas needs more encouraging than the other two to burp, a good few minutes of patting and rubbing his back before he burps, whimpering when he does. I chuckle and shush him quietly. 

"Haz, the nurses said we need to go back to our room," Louis smiles. "We'll come and see them again later okay?"  
"Okay. Bye babies. Be good," I whisper and kiss each of them before Louis puts them back into their cots. 

 

When we get back to the room Louis opens the door and we're met with a cheer from inside. Everyone Louis said was coming is here, as well as his siblings. I look up to Louis who grins and kisses me quickly.   
"Surprise, baby."

Louis helps me get back into bed and tucks me in before the questions start coming. 

"Are you okay? At the babies okay? Where are they?"  
"Mum," Louis laughs, "everything went well, Harry is healing to great and the triplets are in the intensive care unit. They're premature. All of them are healthy and doing well. We've just been to see them."  
"Who's oldest?"  
"Ellie, then it's Lucas and then Toby. Toby is really loud but Lucas is super quiet and Ellie is pretty neutral," I smile, leaning my head on Louis' shoulder. 

He gets his phone out and shows everyone the pictures of them, agreeing when everyone says how gorgeous they are.   
"We brought some clothes and things for you," Zayn says. "Some for both of you and the triplets in case you wanted to change."  
"Thanks, Z."

We have a good laugh, everyone going back with Louis to the nursery to look at them through the window before they leave until Mark is the only one left. 

"You okay, dad?" Louis smiles and hugs him tightly.   
"I've been better, but this has really picked me up. I'm a grandad. Now I sound old," he chuckles.  
"That's because you are," Louis teases. "I can't wait to meet them. Little Ellie, Lucas and Toby. Well done, Louis. And Harry, you did such a good job while you were pregnant."  
"Dad," Louis whines. "You're in headteacher/ Dom mode. Tone it down a bit."

I pat his hand gently and smile when he links our fingers together. Mark laughs and scrubs his hands over his face.   
"Sorry. It's the only mode I've been in for a while."  
"Well now you can meet your grandkids. Let them know you, not the Headmaster," I smile. He nods his head and gives me a wave as he leaves with Louis. 

 

Louis comes back with a tired smile on his face and slumps down in the chair next to me.   
"They said the babies should be able to stay with us for a little while. They're going to move their cots into here after you've had your lunch."  
"I hate hospital food," I pout. "Can't you get me anything nice?"  
"Course I can get you something. What would my baby like?"  
"Pizza? Your favourite," I hum.   
"Why my favourite?" Louis chuckles.  
"Because I've missed having nights in with you while we eat pizza and I steal slices of your favourite."  
"Okay, love, we'll get my favourite."

I pout when he gets his coat on which makes him laugh.  
"You know I have to leave to get the pizza?"  
"I know but I don't want you to," I whine. "Okay, go before I cry."  
"Don't cry, princess, I'll be right back. Ring Niall or something."  
"I will. Bye." 

So that's what I do. He answers the phone with a worried 'Is everything okay?'  
"Yes Niall, we're fine. Louis' gone out to get me some nice food. So I'm stuck alone until he gets back."  
"Oh, how you holding up?"  
"Stomachs still sore. But I'm really happy. I never thought I'd have a life like this when I was younger."  
"You deserve this, Haz, after everything. You deserve this."  
"Yeah. They're just so wonderful and so is Louis. I just love them all so much. It's daunting. I've got three babies now. And I'm madly in love with their dad. It just- feels like a dream still."

"Well you get to hold them and love them and care for them for a very long time. And you have a family behind you who will support you and Louis every step of the way. You'll be okay, Harry. When do you get to come home?"  
"End of the week. And the babies should be out soon after me. They're doing very well."  
"Can I come round and see them when they're out?"  
"Of course you can, Ni. They will absolutely love you."   
"I hope so."

We stay on the phone until Louis comes back, saying caring goodbyes to each other. Louis sets the pizza down on my table and sits on the chair by my bed.   
"You okay?"  
"Yeah, you?"  
"I'm good. Glad to be back with you. I didn't like not being with you. Especially while you can't do anything for yourself."  
"I'm okay. I could've rang you if I needed you. And I'm surrounded by doctors."  
"I know." 

We eat the pizza as we talk about when we can bring the babies home.   
"Liam moved their cots into our room so we can have them there for now. He has made sure all corners and plug sockets are baby proofed. Everything is perfect for when we get home."

"It's going to be hard," I sigh when he's putting the empty box in the bin, smiling sadly when Louis takes my hand and squares tightly. 

"It's normal to be a bit scared, Haz. But we've got this. And if we don't, we have each other. And Niall and Gemma and Zayn and Liam. And my mum and dad and sisters and Ali. Everyone has our backs. We'll be fine."  
"Just- what if I'm not good enough?"

"Hey," Louis says softly, hands holding my cheeks gently like. "You have been perfect at everything you've done since the day I met you. And you won't be any different looking after our babies."

I sniffle and nod my head, scrubbing at my eyes. The nurse knocks on the door and pops her head round.   
"We just need to check everything, sort any needles out and then we can get your babies." 

She asks me to pull my gown off, thanking Louis when he unties it at the back.   
"I've got a clean one for you. Tomorrow we'll let you change into your own clothes," she smiles as she moves the gown away. I pull the covers up to my hips, frowning down at my stomach. "It'll heal up nicely and the scar will fade. If you apply the right things it'll be barely noticeable."

She tampers with my catheter and my IV before she lets Louis put the gown on me.   
"Ready to see your babies?" She grins. I nod my head with a small smile. "I'll bring them down individually."

"Are they hungry?" I ask. She nods her head and leaves the room. 

"What's up, love?" Louis asks, hands smoothing the gown over my shoulders.   
"My belly. I don't like it," I sniffle. "It doesn't look nice at all."

"Oh, Haz," Louis frowns, "you've just had three babies that were in there for nine months nearly. All of your muscles are stretched out. If we eat healthily and exercise it'll go back to what it was. And, either way, I think you look absolutely beautiful. I always do and always will."

"Even when I'm old and wrinkly?" I pout, looking up at him.   
"Even when you're old and wrinkly. Because then I'll be old and wrinkly too."  
"We'll be old and wrinkly together," I giggle, resting my head on his shoulder. He chuckles and nods his head. 

"Yes we will. Now c'mon, let's cheer up before the babies come."  
"Sorry," I sigh, kissing chest.   
"Don't need to apologise. I want to know when you think things like this, okay?" I hum. "Good boy. Look, the nurse is back."

"Can we dress them in the clothes we brought?" I ask as she wheels Lucas' cot through the door. He is awake now, staring up at everything he can.   
"Yes. Though we do advise skin to skin contact with both parents for the babies. It'll help you become more   
comfortable."

Louis takes off his own top and helps me untie my gown again before he lays Lucas on the bed. He unbuttons his baby grow and carefully pulls it past his head. Lucas stares at Louis. Louis grins and rubs his belly. He takes his mittens off too.   
"So soft," he mumbles, kissing his belly before lifting him to his chest. "Do you want to feed him now or after Ellie or Toby?"  
"After, he fed later before and he doesn't seem too fussy right now," I say, holding my finger out to nudge Lucas' hand. His fingers wrap around my one tightly, pulling on it slightly. 

"He's a real beauty," I smile.   
"They all are. I've never seen anything so wonderful."  
"Yeah, they're pretty great." 

The nurse brings Ellie in next. She's awake too, I suppose they'd wake up on their journey to my room. My nurse puts the body pillow across my parted knees and lays Ellie down between my legs, on the pillow. I wince as I move forward to undo her baby grow. 

"Do you need more painkillers?" The nurse asks.   
"That'd be great," I smile thankfully. 

Ellie wriggles as I take her baby grow off, kicking her legs once she's got it off. Her nappy crinkles as I pick her up, grunting as I rest her on my chest. I grin when her lips spread spit over my chest, guiding her head to my nipple as the nurse messes with my IV. 

"You should be able to sleep after you've fed all three of them. And then, later on, you should feel fine."  
"Okay. Thanks. Is Toby okay?"  
"Yes, he's coming down with another nurse now."

She lies Toby where Ellie was and leaves the room. Louis puts Lucas next to him and moves Toby so he can undress him. When they're both naked beside their nappies Louis lifts them both to his chest. 

"Love, when Ellie's done can you take a picture of us?"   
"Course," I smile, patting Ellie's nappy with one hand and rubbing her back worth the other. "My three lads."

Ellie won't burp, she whines and squirms until I have to put her down. My painkillers haven't kicked it in yet so Ellie's kick to the stomach really hurt. I lay her back down and rub my belly. 

"You okay, love?"  
"Yeah, got a hard kick, this one," I sigh. I take a picture of Louis on my phone and send him the picture so we can both have it. As I close my eyes, ready to rest between feeding them, Ellie begins to cry. 

"Oh, baby," I frown, rubbing her belly gently. Louis moves closer, smiling sympathetically. I move my hands down to her feet. "I read that massaging certain parts of baby's feet helps with pain in a certain place. So here," I say, rubbing my thumbs across the centre of her feet. "Should help with a sore stomach. She's got wind."

I rub her belly again, in an upward, soothing motion.   
"Have we got them dummies?" Louis asks.   
"It won't help her right now," I pout, picking her back up to try and burp her again. She burps quickly this time, cries settling down as I bounce her gently until she falls asleep. Louis takes her and puts her between the two boys on his chest. 

I take another picture before I shift. Once I'm comfortable Louis hands me Lucas. He has started to whine and get fussy while I was dealing with Ellie. I let him latch on to the other nipple, wincing when he sucks really hard. 

"Hungry little boy," I mumble, thumb rubbing over his neck. Louis chuckles.   
"Gotta eat lots so they can grow big and strong."  
"Yeah, grow big like daddy," I tease.   
"Don't grow bigger than daddy," Louis pouts. "Just get healthy."  
"Yeah, need healthy babies," I smile. Louis grins. 

Lucas is shocked by his own burp and begins crying. I coo and cradle him gently to my chest as he settles, lying him back on the pillow when he's stopped fussing. 

"Two down, one to go," Louis smiles as he settles Ellie next to her brother and places Toby on my chest.   
"If I fall asleep will you burp him?" I ask, scrubbing at my eyes as Toby tries to latch on.   
"Course, Haz. Relax," he whispers, kissing my jaw and resting his head on my leg. He admires the babies, smiling when Ellie rolls over to Lucas in her sleep. "I'll put them in their cots now so you can sleep." 

He lifts Ellie to my face so I can kiss her and he kisses her too, before he lays her in her cot. He does the same with Lucas, covering both of them with blankets to keep them warm.  

"You're doing and amazing job, Haz. You're amazing. But you need to rest," Louis says when I begin to burp Toby. He takes Toby and kisses my lips gently.   
"Let me kiss him," I mumble, eyes beginning to close. He smiles softly and let's me kiss Toby before he sits back in his chair, rubbing Toby's back gently.

"Love you," I whisper to everyone in the room.   
"Love you, Haz."

 

The week goes by quickly and I heal up well and it feels like all too soon that I can leave. I make Louis promise that we can visit everyday to check on them, make sure they are drinking the bottles of the milk I pumped before we left. 

"Harry, c'mon, let's go have a bath," Louis says when I refuse to uncurl on the couch. I pout but take his hand and follow closely behind him.

He strips naked quickly and looks at me expectantly.   
"Haz, you're beautiful, it's okay," he says gently, stepping forward to hold my hips. The bloating of my belly has gone down quite a bit, the swelling from the caesarian gone completely. But the scar is there and it's stretched and baggy. And I don't like it. 

Louis kisses my head.   
"Stop thinking. You'll get a headache. I can almost hear the cogs turning in your wonderful brain."  
"I don't want you to not find me sexy," I pout. "I want you to think I'm beautiful."

My voice cracks and I begin to cry, holding him to me tightly. He rubs my back and kisses my shoulder.   
"I think you are absolutely gorgeous. You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And that still stand. I find you incredibly attractive. Whether you are in the best shape you've ever been in, are pregnant or have got a post-pregnancy belly, I love you. You still look better than anyone I've ever seen."

He tugs my pants down to the floor and slowly pulls my top over my head, kissing my lips gently.   
"It's okay. You're wonderful. Perfect." 

When I'm in the bath with Louis behind me I curl into his chest and cry, arms wrapped around myself. He doesn't hush me or talk, he simply holds me closely and kisses my hair. 

Louis makes me healthy food for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but sneaks me a chocolate bar whenever I'll eat one.   
"Love, I don't care how much you weigh, me loving you is a lot more important than what your belly looks like."  
"I want to like my own body," I sigh.   
"Okay, sweetheart, okay. We'll do it together."

Because I still get cramps when I move to quickly we do yoga in the morning instead of working out. 

Everyday we visit the babies in time for them to have their lunch, both of us stripping our tops off like the nurse advised. 

A few days after I am released, the babies are moved to the normal nursery because of the steady progress they're making. They've gained weight and no longer need to be closely monitored. 

And then a week and a half later, when they're 3 weeks old they're allowed to come home. 

We get home, Louis carrying two baby seats and me carrying one. We set them down in the living room and look around. We're home. All of us. 

We're together, at our home, as a family. We've never been happier. And I get happier everyday.


	40. Chapter 40

I wake up to Lucas crying loudly which startles the other two babies awake. I sigh and lift him out of his cot. 

"Babe, you okay?" Louis asks, walking out of the bathroom. He comes to where I'm sat and kisses my cheek.   
"Yeah, Lucas is hungry. Bet the other two are now, too," I say and begin to rock Lucas in my arms. He goes quiet almost instantly, lips smacking together as he tries to find something to suck on. 

Louis smiles sleepily and picks up the other two. He sits down next to me and cradles them to his chest.  
"Hey, babies. Look at you three cuties," Louis coos. "I love you so much."  
"Mummy loves you, too," I smile and let Lucas latch on. Closing my eyes, I settle back into the pillow and stroke his back gently.

Louis hooks a leg over mine, letting me know he's there.   
"Love you," Louis whispers. I open my eyes to look at him, a big smile on my face.   
"Love you, too," I reciprocate.   
"What time is it?"  
"Like four in the morning," I yawn.   
"We can get these three fed, get them to sleep and then have some more sleep. My dad said he's gonna come round today with James, see the babas."  
"That's good. Niall and Gem want to come over for a day to see them."  
"We'll have to have a day for each set of people. If that makes sense. Like a day for my dad and James. A day for Niall and Gemma. Zayn and Liam, my mum and the girls, Ali. That way everyone gets to spend time with them and they won't be scared by all the new people."  
"I like that idea," I agree, opening my arm for Louis to lay Ellie down on my chest when she begins to wail. She latches on with a bit of help, Lucas wriggling next to her as they feed at the same time. 

"Mummy and her babies," Louis grins, shuffling over so Toby can be with his brother and sister.  
"They're so gorgeous," I breathe. "I can't get over it."  
"I know. I'm gonna change this one's bum," Louis smiles and lies Toby out on the bed. I watch fondly as Louis changes Toby's nappy, kissing his soft little belly while he squirms. 

When Lucas is finished Louis takes him to burp him so I can feed Toby. He burps and changes Lucas, letting him lie between his outstretched legs. Then he takes Ellie and burps her, too. When Toby is finished I burp him and let him lie with his big brother while I change Ellie. 

"Look at our sleepy babies," I coo, reaching out to nudge Toby's hand. His fingers wrap around my index, tugging slightly as I bite my lip.   
"You tired?" Louis asks. I shrug.   
"Yeah but I'll take like half an hour to fall asleep, you?" I smile. Lucas, Toby and Ellie are wriggling, little feet and fists darting out at odd angles.   
"I'll go stick the kettle on."

He kisses me gently and gets out of bed, scratching his belly lightly. The babies are starting to settle down by the time he gets back up, soft puffs of breath passing their pink lips. 

Louis comes back with two cups of tea, kissing Lucas as he picks him up.   
"Time for you to go to sleep, little ones," he says quietly, rocking him side to side. "Mummy say goodnight."

I grin up at him, rubbing Lucas' soft hair and kissing his cheek.   
"Night baby, mummy loves you."

While Louis puts Lucas in his cot I pick up Ellie, bouncing her gently as my lips graze her forehead.   
"Mummy's little girl, mummy loves you," I whisper. Toby is still squirming and wriggling on the bed. 

I hand Louis Ellie so he can say goodnight and put her in her cot before picking up Toby.   
"C'mon, little man, bed time," I grin and stand up, kissing his little nose. "Go to sleep, baby. Mummy loves you."

Louis cuddles him close and says goodnight, laying him down in his cot. We sit on the end of the bed, my head resting on Louis' shoulder with his arm around my waist. He kisses my temple, smiling. 

"I love you, Haz," he whispers.   
"I love you, too, Lou," I murmur and lift my head to kiss him properly. 

We sit in silence for a few moments before Louis starts singing.   
"You are my sunshines," he starts quietly. I yawn and curl into his side as he sings, kissing his skin wherever I can reach. 

When he's finished he kisses my hair before he's tugging me under the covers again. I shiver and hold my tea to my chin, raising my head to kiss him properly. He hums, our lips parting and our tongues moving together.  I whimper when he bites gently at my bottom lip and pulls away. 

"You're so gorgeous," I sigh contently as we part, stroking a hand down his chest. "I'm so lucky to have you."  
"And I, you," Louis agrees with a grin.

We wake up at seven so I can feed them again, Louis kissing me and rolling out of bed.   
"I'll get us some breakfast while you give them theirs."  
"Thanks, babe," I smile tiredly and push myself out of bed. "Morning, babies. Who's hungry?"

I rub Ellie's soft little belly, grinning down at her.   
"Morning, beautiful," I coo. "Are you going to come and sit with mummy?"

I set the body pillow across the bed and lay each baby on there, Lucas and Toby not rousing. Ellie gazes back at me when I hold her close enough to me. I kiss her little nose as I start to hum a soft tune. She gurgles and kicks her legs. I chuckle and mimic the noises she makes. 

"Mummy has a very happy baby this morning," I say and lay back with Ellie on my chest. My hand pats her nappy clad bum repeatedly as she wriggles. Louis comes back in, grinning at the sight that greets him. 

"Boys still asleep?" Louis asks, sitting down with his cereal.   
"Yeah. Ellie's very happy today," I smile, blowing raspberries when she makes a funny noise. Louis laughs and kisses her head.   
"Morning baby. You want to sit with daddy after he's finished his breakfast?" 

Toby wakes up with a loud cry while I'm feeding Ellie. Louis puts his bowl down and picks him up.   
"Hey, little man, it's okay. Daddy's got you," Louis soothes, a hand running up and down his back. He lays him down and changes his nappy, leaving him in just that.   
"Can you change Lucas while I feed Toby?"   
"Course," Louis smiles and helps me get Toby settled on my chest. 

I smooth down his hair, thumb rubbing over his  cheek. He parts his lips and creates a suction on my chest.   
"Not quite, baby," I giggle and move him so he latches on properly. He makes a disgruntled noise and wriggles quicker until he can start tasting the milk. "There we go, grumpy."

Louis is cuddling with Lucas against his bare chest, the little boy still asleep.   
"God, middle man is tired."  
"Middle man," Louis repeats, laughing and shaking his head.   
"Younger than Ellie, older than Toby."  
"I know, love," he grins. 

He burps and changes Ellie while I feed Toby and Lucas, taking his time to cuddle with her.   
"I'll bring her downstairs with me, okay?" Louis says.   
"Yeah. She can have some tummy time if she's still awake."  
"Great," Louis smiles and kisses me on the lips before he leaves the room with Ellie. 

Toby makes a noise, hands patting at my chest and his brother.   
"We're here, Toby. Ellie is with daddy, she's okay."

I bring them down when they've decided they've had enough and sit beside Louis on the floor. We lean against the couch and watch as Ellie wriggles on the floor, their play mat's colours exciting to her. I burp Lucas while Louis burps Toby and then we lie  them down next to their sister. 

Louis lies on his belly, too, so he can be face to face with them and he urges me to do the same. I kiss his cheek and go upstairs to get my breakfast before coming to lie with my little family. Louis takes a couple of pictures of the babes and sets the phone up so it takes a picture of us all. He makes it his wallpaper and kisses me quickly. 

"My dad said he's coming round in a couple minutes, he's got a hospital appointment at one so he's going to leave from here."  
"It'll be nice to have him here for a while. We'll have to have a proper dinner together soon."  
"Yeah. I need to talk to him about some of the stuff regarding me taking over."

I hum, urging him to go continue. He rests his head on my shoulder and pushes a rattle towards the babies. I grin when they all gurgle and make nonsensical noises. He sighs. 

"I'm looking over the staff and the students, how our school works and how our buildings are. I may change the curriculum, the set up of the years and how you take on roles, the support we have in place. Everything. I'm going to make it a girls and boys school, too. We'll have meetings with the students to introduce them to everyone here and how he school works so what happened to you doesn't happen to others."   
"When are all of these changes taking place?" I ask, drinking the milk out of the bowl.

"September. We're just trying to make sure they are ready to be put in place. So all staff are going on some training days, I chose the course, will have to show up, too. I've got some interviewing to do soon for new staff. There's all sorts going on. A lot is changing. My dad trusts me to do it and will support me how he can."

I turn my head and press my lips to his, kissing him slowly.   
"I'm so proud of you. You've worked so hard, you're amazing. Such a good daddy and boyfriend and headmaster."  
"Technically not headmaster yet," Louis blushes, accepting another kiss.   
"That's only a couple of weeks away though, babe," I smile. We talk and play with the babies for a couple minutes until Mark and James get here. 

"Babies! Granddads are here!" 

They take a couple minutes to come through the door because Louis has made us all a drink.   
"Mark, James!" I grin, pulling each of them into a hug. "It's great to see you both. And with the babies."

Mark and James smile back and squeeze me just as tight. They sit on the couch.   
"How you feeling?" I ask Mark. He shrugs.   
"Obviously it's hard but having these three to look forward to certainly helped me get through the start and now I just want to be able to see my grandkids grow up."  
"And you will, the doctor said you're making excellent progress," James says, kissing his cheek. "Can we steal these cuties away for a while?" 

I hand James Toby and Mark Lucas. Ellie shouts, looking up at me.   
"I know, you don't get enough attention," I laugh and pick her up. Mark and James make room so I can sit between them, all three babies staring up at he big people holding them. 

Mark and James are cooing and talking to them softly when Louis comes back in. He kisses my head and sits on the floor in front of me.   
"How is everyone?"  
"Great," Mark answers, running a fingertip over Lucas' cheek. Lucas tries to suck the finger into his mouth which makes Mark laugh. "God, they're incredible."

We natter away about how they've been and anything coming up in the future before Mark asks Louis to tell him about his plans for the school. 

"I want to make it a mixed gender school, firstly. I want them to fill in a questionnaire to determine if they'll be a Dom or sub. Then for the first year it'll be theory and practice only until they get paired with their partner. They'll be in mixed Dom/sub classes for a kind of group therapy. It'll allow subs and doms who aren't in a relationship to get insight into how the opposite role feels. Before they come here I'd like to meet them with a counsellor and a teacher so we can fully explain how the school works and decide if they will be allowed in. 

I would like to extend the buildings, make it more like a hotel so each individual gets a room until they get partnered. At which point they'll have the choice on whether or not they move in together. I have looked at changing the curriculum and I've got that on my laptop so I'll email that to you later. 

I've booked the training for the week off in three weeks. And then the interviews are in two so any staff I hire will go on that training."  
"I'm proud of you, Louis," Mark smiles gently. He is teary eyed and he cradles Lucas close to his chest. 

"Thanks dad," Louis smiles, fiddling with the folder in his hands. "And this is what I've been meaning to tell you. It's all been confirmed, I can do it all."

My heart swells with so much pride. I swallow, trying to hold back any tears that threatened to fall. 

We watch television and the babies have more tummy time before they're hungry. 

Mark and James say the don't mind so I pull my shirt over my head and help Toby, who is fidgeting and crying, latch on. He settles down almost instantly, hand slapping gently on my chest as he drinks. 

Louis hands me Lucas who is starting to whine and wiggle and takes Toby.   
"Can I burp him?" Mark asks. 

So Mark burps Toby while I feed Lucas and Louis plays with Ellie and a toy on the floor. Then James burps Lucas while I feed Ellie and Louis burps her when she's finished. 

"Oh, baby is tired now," Louis grins, absolutely glowing with love as he stares down at his yawning baby girl. "All of that milk and sleep will make you strong."  
"The boys are sleepy, too," I say. "Let's put them in their Moses baskets."

So we carry each baby and lay them down in their little baskets side by side in front of the window. I close the curtain over slightly so it's not too bright. After kissing them all we go and sit on the arm chair together.

"I'm proud of the both of you. You've handled it so well," James says. 

We hug them goodbye when they're leaving for the doctors, asking them to tell us what the doctor says. 

The next few days are filled with sleepy feeds and nappy changes and cute moments. 

Niall and Gemma come round at least once a week and Zayn and Liam come over nearly everyday to help with the babies and with the new school stuff. After a couple weeks, when Louis is in the training sessions and doing interviews, having meetings and finalising everything for the new school year, Louis' siblings and mum come over. Louis hasn't long came home and is absolutely knackered. 

He is lying on the couch nearly asleep with his top off, all three babies lying on his chest, tired after their one O'clock feed. 

I kiss him on the forehead before going to let them in. 

When the girls start shouting and playing I shush them and tell them to sit on the couch.   
"Who wants to see the babies?"

The all crowd in around Louis, curious fingers stroking and feeling their pink skin. Louis smiles and watches his family. He lets Lottie pick up Ellie and his mum pick up Toby. I take Lucas from him and sit down on his lap. He tucks his face into my neck and kisses the skin there. 

"Babe, go get your pyjamas on, we'll take it easy for a couple days, yeah?" I say quietly. He nods his head and kisses my cheek, letting me stand up before he goes to get changed. 

"What's up with, Lou?" His mum asks.   
"He's stressed about the school, he's been working too hard. But he should be able to relax because he's just waiting for September to come around now."  
"It's amazing what he's doing. And looking after his three little babies, too."  
"Yeah. He's a brilliant dad, took to it really well."

Louis makes us all a drink and we curl up on the couch with Lucas. The girls and boy are all sat with his mum and Lottie to see the babies. 

Everyone is very helpful. Ali, when helping me look after the babies, will talk me over how to go about being a counsellor, what I'll do and all that. James and Mark come to help Louis make decisions and get his ideas happening. 

Life is great, the babies are doing fantastically and we cannot wait to see them develop as they grow up.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really not happy with this chapter, tell me what you think. Is there anything you would like to see? Certain things you want to happen? Let me know because I want to make this book good for you using your feedback xx

The school opening is postponed to  November because the weather got really bad while they were building and flooded part of the accommodation. 

The babies turn 3 months old just before school starts again and it's busy, Louis having to meet with new students before they join. He meets them for fifteen minutes to explain what the school is about and introduce himself as headmaster. 

Everyday he comes home excited to see his babies, spending the whole evening with them. The babies are more active now, waking up more and smiling at everyone they meet. We still haven't moved them out of our room, Louis having mentioned it a couple weeks ago. I couldn't bare the thought of not having them there so he calmed me down and reassured me that we wouldn't move them yet. 

We haven't had sex. Louis has told me I can wank as much as I want when I'm in the shower because he does, but that'll change when we start having sex again. 

The weekends are nicer, a slow stroll in the park to start our Saturday's. We stop and feed the ducks, talking to the babies as we walk. They have tummy time in the afternoons, not for long because they can hurt their necks by trying to hold their heads up. 

Ellie likes to explore, trying her best to shuffle along and hold a rattle. Toby likes lying on his back and swatting at the toys that dangle above him on their toy gym. Lucas enjoys his cuddles most, staring up at us as we read to them. He likes the touch and feel books we have, figuring out what he does and doesn't like to feel. 

"Liam and Zayn are coming over. We're going out for a meal," Louis tells me when he comes home. He has Toby in his arms as he walks around the room, trying to burp him.   
"Are they sure? It's a lot of work, I-"  
"They'll be fine and if they need help my dad is right around the corner," Louis says. "They're coming round so we can get ready and go out. You change this ones bum? I'm gonna put Lucas in the bath."  
"Okay," I smiles, taking Toby and kissing Louis slowly. 

Liam and Zayn come over, sitting with the babies on the floor. A fluffy blanket is one the floor and the babies are all just in their nappies. They wriggle, rubbing their arms and legs on the soft material. Liam grins and blows raspberries on their tummies, tickling them gently. Zayn strokes their feet and hands, smiling fondly down at them. 

Louis pulls me towards the stairs, pushing me into the shower. 

"God we haven't been alone on so long," Louis groans, dropping to his knees and pushing me against the wall. I gasp and tangle my fingers in his hair.   
"Fuck," I whimper as he wraps a hand around my dick, stroking me quickly.   
"So beautiful, Haz. So fucking gorgeous," Louis compliments.   
"Lou, please. I want you inside me!" I whine.   
"Okay, love. You get in the shower."

He stands up and cups my face gently, our lips fitting together and moving slowly. I hold his shoulders, hands moving up and down just to feel him in a way I haven't in so long. 

"Shower, right. Okay," I pant, laughing at just how flustered I am.   
"I'll bring our clothes in, wait there a minute."

Louis fucks me against the shower wall, my cheek pressed to the tiles as I moan. He hikes up one of my legs so he can push deeper, groaning loudly.   
"I love you, Haz. Fuck, so good," Louis grunts, biting my shoulder as he comes.   
"I love - you!" I wail as I come onto my chest. He pulls out, kissing my back and helping me stand up properly. 

"I really do love you, so much," Louis whispers and brings me in for another kiss before we start to get ready. 

 

I hold the outfit up, staring questioningly at Louis.   
"Why're we dressing so fancy?" I ask as I pull my pants up.   
"It's a fancy restaurant. I wanted to treat my love," Louis grins. I smile, looping my belt through the loops.   
"I love you," I repeat quietly. 

 

When we're dressed we go and say goodbye to our babies.   
"Mummy will be home soon, babes. If you cry enough uncle Liam and uncle Zayn might give you the bottles from the fridge," I say as I kiss each of them. Liam chuckles and nods.   
"We're going to be their favourite babysitters, right love?" Zayn grins. Liam mumbles his agreement and kisses Zayn quickly.   
"Right, c'mon Haz, everything will be okay," Louis says after he's cuddled the babies goodbye. 

 

The restaurant is dimly lit, quiet music playing in the background as we're led to our table. I smile over the table at Louis.   
"You choose for me, I've never been here before and you know what I like."

He orders for the both of us, linking his fingers with mine once we've got our food.   
"It's nice to be away from the kids, as much as I love them, they're hard work," Louis chuckles.   
"I know what you mean. It's tiring, but it's so, so worth it," I say thoughtfully. He squeezes my hand tight.   
"We certainly made some amazing babies, got great genetics we have," Louis grins. I laugh, nodding my head.   
"I might be biased, but I'd have to agree."

When we've finished Louis takes my hand and kisses me slowly.   
"Let's go for a walk, they won't mind if we're ten minutes later," Louis suggests. I narrow my eyes, giggling when Louis does the same back and pretends to shoot me.   
"Loser," I laugh, taking his hand and swinging it between us as we walk.   
"But you love me," Louis beams proudly, like its his greatest achievement.   
"Yes, I really do," I grin, rolling my eyes fondly.

We fall into a comfortable silence, gazing up at the stars as we walk through the park.   
"Ooh this is pretty," I comment as we walk through the flower garden. The paths are lined by flowers and trees that have fairy lights in.   
"Let's sit down."

We sit on the bench, huddled close together.   
"We've been together for three years now," Louis smiles softly. "You've given me three beautiful babies that we get to hold and love everyday. In the past three years we've overcome so much and along the way I've fallen head over heels in love with you. You're my best friend, the love of my life, the mother to my babies."

Louis gets off the bench and from around the corner comeLiam and Zayn, wheeling the triplets in their pram. Zayn and Liam have smug little smiles on their lips, Louis takes a shuddery breath and gets down on one knee beside the pram.

I cover my mouth, tears coming to my eyes as I read what it says on the triplet's baby grows. 

Ellie's says 'Marry', Lucas' says 'our' and Toby's says 'Daddy?'

"Lou- are you serious?" I gasp. He smiles, his own eyes teary, too. He pulls out a box, looking up at me as I stand in front of him.   
"Harry Styles, will you marry me?" 

"Oh my god," I sob and pull Louis up to stand. Our lips meet messily, cheeks wet with tears.   
"Is that a yes?" Louis asks hopefully as I bury my face in his shoulder.   
"Yes, yes, a million times- yes!" I laugh wetly. We pull away and he slips the ring onto my finger with shaky hands. "I love you. I love you so fucking much."

Louis kisses me again, hand cradling my head as our lips move together. It's slow and passionate and full of so much love. 

Liam and Zayn whoop and cheer when we pull apart.   
"Congrats, guys," Liam grins.   
"Yeah. C'mon, let's get you all home," Zayn chuckles. "I think you all deserve some cuddles."

When we get home Louis and I curl up with Ellie, Lucas and Toby. Our tops are off and the babies are only in their nappies for now.   
"W-we're Fiancés," I realise.   
"Yes, Haz. We're going to get married," Louis grins, face nearly splitting in two.   
"I can't get over it. It doesn't feel real," I say quietly. "I never dreamt that I'd have a proper relationship, never mind have three wonderful little babas and a soon to be husband. I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and it'll all be gone, just a dream."

Louis pauses for a minute before he replies.   
"Well you see these little monkeys?" He says. We both look at the triplets who're lying on our chests, hands patting at us. "Me and these amazing babies aren't going anywhere. We're right here, always. Because we love you so fucking much. They are too young to even comprehend it but they hate not being able to see you. They calm down when they can feel you or hear your voice."  
"Speaking of these little ones calming down," I sigh happily, Toby beginning to fuss. "Come here, love. You hungry? Or is it bedtime?"

He won't latch on so me and Louis lay them down in their cots after we have put their baby grows on.   
"Liam and Zayn took pictures of tonight," Louis says as we sit at the edge of the bed. I shiver and pull a blanket around us to keep us warm.   
"We can look after we've finished reading," I smile, cuddling into his side with the poem book we've been reading. 

When the babies have stopped wriggling we kiss them gently, whispering soft 'goodnight, I love you,'s before we climb into our own bed. 

I tie my hair way from my face and snuggle into Louis' chest. He kisses me lovingly and wraps himself around me.   
"Goodnight, love. I love you," he murmurs.   
"Goodnight fiancé," I grin, giggling with Louis like excited children. "I love you lots."

We all fall asleep happy, content, loved and happily anticipating what is to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really not happy with this chapter, tell me what you think. Is there anything you would like to see? Certain things you want to happen? Let me know because I want to make this book good for you using your feedback xx


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